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Topic: Partner depression

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. Mung
    Mung avatar
    1 posts
    5 June 2018

    Hi

    My partner suffers from depression. He also.drinks and smokes pot. He has become lately very hard to deal with and it is affecting our entire relationship. We have a child together and he becomes distant to the child as well when we argue. I will take some of the blame as I can be difficult as well. But at the moment it's like he actually hates me. I am trying to understand what depression is but I don't understand feelings as I don't feel that way. He says I am not supportive but when I try he just gets angry and tells me to just dont. I feel lately like he just doesn't care or like my side of things. This is starting to cause me anxiety and I don't mean to but get short tempted and start getting restless with baby. As I am exhausted. I work as well and do every thing else. It just seems sometimes he asks way too much of me and I think sometimes.I am falling into that dark hole and that i should just take baby and leave. He is a great dad but just at the moment we can't seem to stop.fighting all.the time and everything seems to be my fault. There's on my so much I can take... As to him it seems I don't do anything for him and that I am selfish. Please help

    1 person found this helpful
  2. PamelaR
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    PamelaR avatar
    2740 posts
    7 June 2018 in reply to Mung

    Hello Mung and a warm welcome to you.

    I apologies that you've had such a long wait to get a reply. It has nothing to do with your post. The problem is with our current system and we end up missing new posts. So sorry.

    You sound like you have a very busy and difficult time at the moment - Managing work, household, baby and your partner. Kudos to you though, it's good to see you are doing all these things even if you are experiencing anxiety. Well done.

    To help us support you, I'll ask questions as I respond. Though there is no pressure for you to respond to anything you don't want to.

    So what are some of the things you can do. Have a look at the Beyond Blue home page, go to the search field at the top of the page and enter -

    Supporting someone with mental illness

    You'll find a lot of resources there to help you.

    One of things that's really important when you are supporting someone is to look after yourself. From what you've said, I think you need to be gentle and kind with yourself and your baby.

    I have PTSD, anxiety and depression and find talking with someone about what's happening in my life helpful. Do you have a family member or closed trusted friend you can talk too? If you want to talk and there is no one around, there are a number of support services available:

    • Beyond Blue Support Service 1300 244 636
    • Lifeline 13 11 14

    Are you seeing your doctor about your anxiety and restless with your baby? I think it would be an important step to take for you.

    Once you have looked after yourself and feeling okay think about how you can work with your partner. It sounds like there are a number of things he needs to look at in his life - drinking, drugs, depression, his relationship with you. Drinking and using drugs can exacerbate the depression. Does he see a doctor about his depression?

    There are other services out there if you need it, e.g.

    Relationships Australia 1300 364 277

    1800RESPECT - 1800 737 732

    You are not alone Mung. Keep reaching out when you want to. No pressure.

    Kind regards

    PamelaR

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