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Topic: struggling with special needs children

  1. Emo
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    222 posts
    13 September 2021

    Hi Matchy69,

    It made me smile the thought that you could sneak back on here quietly because you are such a vital person to the forums. You were missed by many people, your input is much valued.

    I'm so sorry to hear that your two daughters are really struggling right now. They are so lucky to have your support while they are going through their struggles. They couldn't be in better hands.

    I hope that you are also giving yourself some time to yourself and maybe some self care. You need to look after yourself to be able to share the best of yourself.

    I will be praying for you and your family. All the best.

    Regards,

    Emo.

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Matchy69
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    13 September 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo you are sweet to say that.I struggle with my own mental health and know how hard it is for people.

    How have you been with your battle with cancer?You are going through so much and I feel for you with everything you are going through.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Sleepy21
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    13 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Hello, I agree with EM and Emo, it is a privilege to have u here as you are someone we are all fond of
    4 people found this helpful
  4. Matchy69
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    13 September 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi sleepy thanks for your kind words.It means a lot to me and put tears in my eyes reading the nice comments on here.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Emo
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    222 posts
    14 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    Thank you for your kind words. I hope things are a bit better for your daughters. Thank you for asking how my cancer is. I won't go into detail in case it triggers anyone but it's spread and my treatment options are limited.

    It has caused me to struggle with my will to keep going. I know I should be grateful that I still have some time left but it's a daily battle of fighting my negative thoughts. What your family are going through makes me realise that others have it worse than myself.

    I hope things improve for your family.

    Regards,

    Emo.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Matchy69
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    14 September 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo I am sorry to hear the cancer is spreading.My thoughts and prayers are with you.My struggles are nothing compared to what you are going through.Keep fighting your worth it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  7. Matchy69
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    15 September 2021

    It has been a stressful day for me.My ex's car I bought for her is playing up so getting it fixed under warranty and she got a loan car this time so I don't have to give her mine this time.My son had a bad day at school.I knew it wasn't good when the teacher walked him to the car and told me about what happened in the afternoon.My pregnant daughter might have something wrong with the baby after her attempt.She is having more ultrasound and test tomorrow.I am very worried about them.

    My daughter's formal is tomorrow night and she is excited but is a bit sad that her sister can't make it and is struggling.I am getting very anxious about going tomorrow as well My daughter is going into town first thing and getting her hair and nails done and being pampered.Her other sister has organised it all.

    I am hoping everyone here is doing ok.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  8. Sleepy21
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    15 September 2021

    hi Mark

    the pampering sounds sweet and a nice self-care experience for ur daughtr to celebrate ending school...(soon).

    Sorry you have had so much going on, are you okay? That sounds difficult with ur ex. Great that they gave her a car so she is independent and can give you space.

    Hope ur pregnant daughter is okay, how is she feeling?

    i'm watching a very violent movie which I never do, but it is no 1 or 2 on netflix and i was curious. It's about a female assasin and has tonnes of gore!

    Hope ur night is relaxing and ur cat is snuggled up next to you and cosy.

  9. Matchy69
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    16 September 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy thanks for the kind words.I didn't have a good night sleep at all.I have been awake since midnight.My cat slept at my feet to about 4 am then it was her turn to become a wild cat.She will go back to bed soon.

    My son is still asleep and won't be long to he is awake wanting his breakfast and getting ready for school.

    I am really anxious about tonight and worried about my daughter's pregnancy.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  10. Sleepy21
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    17 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark I'm sorry it's so nerve wracking re tomorrow night

    If it helps or u want to share anything am here to listen. What sort of things happen at this formal, does she go with a partner or alone? I do hope she has a good time and enjoys meeting people or having some pampering and fun

  11. Matchy69
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    17 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Thanks sleepy,the formal was last night and went well.The only thing I regret is not taking her in on one of my classic bikes.She had a dress on and wanted to go in a normal car.She didn't want to hire a car or anything.She went in her sisters last model commodore so it will have some nostalgia.About another 4 people went in normal cars and their was about half a dozen classic cars and one girl went on a horse.I noticed my daughter never talked to anyone there and looked so anxious.Some of her class mates asked to have photos with her.Their is 19 in her year and 16 turned up.

    Very tired today didn't get home to late and didn't sleep much.Now I an worried what is going to happen when she finishes school.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Emo
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    222 posts
    18 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    Thank you for your kind words. I'm praying constantly at the moment as I'm waiting for test results. I'm so glad to hear that your daughters formal went well, I was worrying about it myself. I know how some girls can be if you're not in the popular crowd so I was hoping that everyone was being kind to each other, especially during these difficult times.

    I understand your concern regarding your daughters future. I thought you had mentioned some help that the school could offer her even though she's finishing school. Is that right? I think it would be great to grab onto any help that the school can offer which could benefit her transition into the next phase of her life.

    I'm still hoping that things are going better with your pregnant daughter. I'm here if you want to talk. I'm happy to reach out when I can. All the best.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  13. Matchy69
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    19 September 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo I am hoping the test results are good for you.I am here if you need to talk.

    I think my daughter being in such a a small class with only 19 in year 12 most of them girls helps a lot with not much bullying going on unlike me who had over 200 in my year.

    My daughter has funding from NDIS for her but not sure what we can spend the money on.Snd their is another scheme through NDIS that can help transition her from school.I know how hard it will be with her anxiety and all her health problems to be able to function and have a life in this world even with assistance it is going to be challenging for her.I have been there and struggled and know it isn't going to be easy.She is talking about going to Tafe but not sure if she will be able to manage it not being able to talk to other people.School gave us both a routine that we have become accustomed to.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  14. Jstar49
    Jstar49 avatar
    813 posts
    21 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    hey Mark,

    Nice to see you here again, I add my comments to everyone else's who have missed you!!! Imagine thinking you could sneak quietly back indeed- haha lol! We love you!

    Its great to hear how things are going- tho I'm sad for you and your d- so hard to strugle thru the hormonal and other challenges of pregnancy. Does your d feel supported by other ppl in her life? It's so great she has you. All you need to do is show her you care, that will speak volumes.

    I know in my pregnancies I felt so uncertain about so many things. You mentioned she split with her H, so I am guessing that has something to do with her feelings atm. So hard! Pregnancy puts pressure on r/ships too.

    Wow, so your other d has had her formal! Excellent! Did she enjoy it?

    She's going to be heaps better off with NDIS, but as you say, it's the whole issue of knowing what to use it for, and having to deal with all of that. Others have told me it's a lot of work. Does she still want to work with animals? Hoping there is some positive steps forwards so you can stop worrying so much- altho we're parents! We always worry!

    So glad you're back, even if it's just for now.

    Cheers,

    J*

  15. Sleepy21
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    22 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark, I'm pleased Urdaughter went to the formal, I can imagine 2hen younger I would have felt shy also and struggled to make small talk with people at events like that. I hope she can gain confidence, I'm sure she will. I think lots of teenagers are shy

  16. Matchy69
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    23 September 2021 in reply to Jstar49

    Hi J I have been very sick this week and today I am feeling better.My ex and daughter also got sick after the school formal so many from there.My daughter didn't talk to anyone at the formal and looked scared and sad.A few class mates asked to have photos with her.She was happy in the car on the way home.

    My daughter still wants to do some more study at TAFE when she finishes school.Something to do with caring for animals.I am not sure what course yet and how much she will have to go into TAFE and how much she can do online.It will be a 40 minute drive to TAFE from my place.

    My pregnant daughter says she's knows shes got my love and support.She has been on sick leave last week but started back at work this week.She says she will take maternity leave soon.

    Thanks for your kind words and support.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  17. Matchy69
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    23 September 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi sleepy my daughter is more then just shy she has never spoken a word to anyone at school,no students or teachers and changes completely when she gets with in a certain distance to the school.She suddenly looks so scared and this has been since she started child care.Not sure how TAFE will go for her if she will be able to manage it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  18. Sleepy21
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    23 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark, I'm sorry that she struggles that way, that's difficult to not speak to anyone at school and makes me feel for her. Does she feel connected to animals or plants, if u don't mind me asking. Hope she goes okay.

    I saw a beautiful cat today lazing in the sun and it came to me for pats. Animals can make me feel better

  19. Matchy69
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    24 September 2021 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi sleepy it is really hard thing for people to understand about her mutism.Its very real and debilitating for her.The modern technology with laptops has helped her get through school and pass.

    She is very connected to animals especially cats and has two one here and one at her mother's.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  20. Matchy69
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    25 September 2021
    I went to a bike show today and won a trophy for my bike.The first time I have ever one a trophy.My son is so excited as it is his bike.I just spent the hours and money restoring it.Nice little reward.
  21. Sleepy21
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    26 September 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    What a cool feeling Mark, great to get that acknowledgement, well done
  22. Matchy69
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    4 October 2021
    I managed to get my daughter some work walking a dog and bathing it.Small start but at least it's a start.
    2 people found this helpful
  23. Sleepy21
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    5 October 2021 in reply to Matchy69
    Hi Mark, Ur an awesome dad, that sounds great
  24. Matchy69
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    9 October 2021
    Their is a job for an animal attendant about an hour from here.I will get my daughter to send in her resume.
  25. Tired of being
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    16 posts
    11 October 2021

    HI

    My 16 yo son has recently moved back with me. He has asd and add and was beaten up in other household as parent could not cope. Son has worsening OCD and it is taking his day up. He is now staying in his room, eating one small meal and taking over my house. His bathroom, toilet, floors, his clothes and so many things have rituals and routines. I am trying to connect him with supports - he has NDIS. But its so hard.

    I realise COVID has been cruel and he has been allowed to go into school, but now refuses after he had an issue with another student. I am a high school teacher and know he is ticking all the boxes for desperate help and how much this is hurting him.

    I don't know the 'rules' he works by as they are expanding and getting more rigid.

    He is so tall and strong, so unless he wants to do something, there is no way i can get him to do anything.

    He sees a psych fortnightly, for OCD, yet i am not sure she is helping. He is not ready to do self help. I fear that it will get so much worse.

    Thanks for listening, can i have some strategies please?

  26. Matchy69
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    12 October 2021 in reply to Tired of being

    Hi Tired of being it sounds like you have your hands full with your 16y.o son.Your son seems to being ruled by his OCD's.I am sorry the psych dosnt seem to be helping with it.I have them so does my 17y.o daughter and my son has a very strict routine he must stick to.

    My daughter has missed 25 days of last term and it is very hard to get her to go to school.She is complaining of other health issues and seem to be at the doctor's regularly.Only a few weeks to go for my daughter to go at school and then she starts a new chapter in her life.

    I wondering what interest your son has and if their is something you could get him into doing a course at TAFE or a sport he could get involved in.Their might be something through NDIS you can utilise.I have NDIS for my two children and know it can be a bit tricky to negotiate.I did have mine doing physio on horseback which gave my son a lot of confidence.I have my daughter's new plan and it has funding for further education and looking for work

    I just want you to know that you are not alone with what you are going through with your son and we are here to listen.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Matchy69
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    14 October 2021
    A very sad day today as my kids lost their horse today.
  28. Emo
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    222 posts
    15 October 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark,

    I'm sorry about the shortness of this reply but I have to be quick. I wanted you and your kids to know that you are all in my prayers and I'm so very sorry for your loss.

    I assume that when you mean loss that the horse has passed away. Please forgive me if I'm wrong. If it means that the horse has wandered off somewhere then I hope you can find it soon.

    I hate to see anyone in pain so I hope that you can eventually find some comfort in the happy memories you have of your horse. Take care.

    Regards,

    Emo.

  29. Sleepy21
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    15 October 2021 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark I'm sorry you had such a horrible and upsetting loss

    It can be so hard to have a loss of a pet. The mood and feeling must be so hard, Hope u are taking care of urself. Here to listen

  30. Matchy69
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    15 October 2021 in reply to Emo

    Hi Emo and sleepy and thankyou for your kind words.Yes it was the horse passing.I think she was 32 and was a saved rescue horse.My son and daughter were very upset and crying and so was I.It is a very emotional time.Flicka has always been in my son's life and my kids use to ride her.

    Take care,

    Mark.

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