Hi, I am feeling very overwhelmed at the moment and can't stop crying. Some background my husband & I are seeing (skype) a marriage counsellor. I suffer with anxiety, had some traumatic experiences (with men mostly) which the counsellor is aware of but not discussed in any depth. I've had a loving but very strict, almost suffocating upbringing & witnessed domestic abuse, I still flinch even though my current situation is not abusive. Painfully shy I've worked hard at finding my voice and some confidence, but I'm still hyper sensitive & fragile. Today the counsellor focused entirely on my husbands feelings of frustration with me, as the session ended I was in tears, I feel completely invalidated, like a spoilt child for even daring to ask about my needs. As we signed out I heard the marriage counsellor say loudly a swear word. She phoned my husband to apologise, said we shouldn't of heard that but she was frustrated with herself & not at us or specifically me. I don't believe it, I feel silenced, I feel that to speak out & ask for something in return only ends in ugliness, I feel that I am the difficult one & should just learn to shut up & suck it up. I'm crying telling myself I'm horrible, selfish. unlovable and nothing is to be gained for asking for help. My husband says its not about blaming anyone & my turn will be next month, I know he is just trying to help in his way but it just feels that he was given the opportunity to communicate how he feels about me when we run into issues and I had no opportunity to give my side. I feel narcissistic or even like a spoiled brat for even thinking I should have had my turn to get heard & when I heard the counsellor swear at the end it confirmed everything I was feeling. Is it normal to focus on one partner for a session while the other is made to keep silent except to mirror back what they are hearing? I would of felt very uncomfortable if the roles were reversed and my hubby had to mirror back what I was feeling and experiencing without him having the opportunity to respond for an entire hour. Should we continue with these counselling sessions? I just don't know what's normal but something is telling me that I shouldn't be crying like this & feeling worse, its bringing up past traumas of 'keeping quiet'. But if I'm the one asking to pull the plug on these sessions then I will be seen as the difficult, selfish one. Any insight into what would be the healthiest course in this will be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.