Very warm welcome to you. I'm pleased you've found your way to our community.
PTSD, anxiety and depression are debilitating Panda. The constant anxiety, depression, triggers and the subsequent behaviours that go with that - being antisocial, indifferent make life so difficult. It's great you have seen psychologists and psychiatrists. Are you seeing anyone at the moment?
I understand completely about the aching body, head, back and legs. For many years I thought I had chronic fatigue or blamed it on having had Ross River Virus (doctors couldn't find anything wrong with me), but now 20 years on and only being diagnosed with PTSD, anxiety and depression 10 years ago I now realise most of this aching is associated with my mental health.
The healing and recovery process takes time. Medication and therapy are just part of the process. There is a lot of self help I had to do. Like - mindfulness, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, reiki. All these things to heal my hurting body, not just my mind.
You talk of being bubbly. I'm sure you can be that way again. As you heal, as you shed the feelings of guilt, shame, anger, and hurt to your body - you'll find your laughter. I did.
Do you know of the Blue Knot Foundation? It's an organisation established to help adult survivors of childhood trauma. There website is - https://www.blueknot.org.au
Also, there are a number of books available about having the courage to heal. These books are extremely useful. One such book is by Laura Davis - The Courage to Heal Workbook.
Feel free to share more of your story, if you want to. No pressure. Also, I'd be interested in knowing how you felt after you posted.