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Topic: Guilty Dad

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Guilty Dad
    Guilty Dad avatar
    1 posts
    8 September 2020
    i am a father of two, and husband to my wife of 15 years. 2 years ago i confessed that i had been cheating on her with sex workers for nearly my entire life we have known each other, 25 yrs..

    My wife has been very strong, and even though we have not been intinate for 2 years as a result of the confession, she has somewhat forgiven me...

    I was always an up and down person, but this confession has made the troughs really deep.. to suicide levels... i reflect on the different aspects on my life and aside from football coaching and my new covid puppy i feel worthless.... and my stresses are causing anxiety, i have not been able.to get out of bed at times...

    At work, i have a senior.role in a family business.. that i took up cause i failed at uni...and it was a co.fort, albeit i dispose the industry i work in... i have done so for.20 yrs...

    My parenting is enjoyable.with the kids... but i set too hard exlectations on them at times, and they can be a chllenge at times, my daughter has a mild adhd, for whatever that means.. i feel cause anxiety to my kids over being too reactive... at times.an emltional.robot..

    I love cooking for the family

    Working from home, alone is complex.too.as i am runing from my managerial responsibilities, and i clash withe staff and clients and fall behind with my tasks... i feel their is resentment towards me i have been in the business fot 20 yrs mind you and i just want to leave, but the boss my mother passively and agressively makes me stay in her own way..

    Sometimes i feel i just want do sleep.and not get up. i ask my wife maybe to leave me, but she never takes me.seriously on that, as i dont takeme seriously..

    I always moop and mon about things and really begin to hate myself... thats why ending it all.sends so attractive.. but i dont have the balls.to even try...

     
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6811 posts
    8 September 2020 in reply to Guilty Dad
    Dear Guilty Dad,

    We’re so grateful to have you reach out to our community this morning and are so sorry to hear everything you have going on at the moment. Times like this can definitely get overwhelming . We hope that you find our forums to be a safe and supportive space to talk through your thoughts and feelings. Our community is here for you. 

    We hope you know that there is always help available to you, whether it's from our professional mental health counsellors Beyond Blue (available 24/7/365 on 1300 22 4636) or Mensline 1300 78 99 78 . Keep checking back in with us whenever you feel up to it. 
     
     
  3. geoff
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    geoff avatar
    16437 posts
    8 September 2020 in reply to Guilty Dad

    Good Morning, and understand the commitment you're in working in a family business, something that you're not too particular about doing, simply because if there are any problems associated with the family, remain and maybe intensified with ongoing issues.

    An issue that could be stopping you and your wife from being intimate is that it was kept a secret, there's an old saying and please forgive me for saying it because I want to help you, 'You can't eat your cake and have it too', and maybe this can be fixed later on.

    I know that no uni qualification could be causing you some distress but this can be achieved later on, it's now you need to concentrate on.

    If I can suggest the reason why you've heard back the secret to your wife is based on why you're still working in the family business, and I say this without any knowledge nor blame, as I'm not a qualified doctor.

    What you have said, we are deeply sorry for, and is it possible to book an appointment by yourself with your doctor.

    Love to hear back from you.

    Geoff.

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