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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Hi, I'm the Ultimate Worrier

Topic: Hi, I'm the Ultimate Worrier

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. Ultimate Worrier
    Ultimate Worrier avatar
    7 posts
    24 October 2020

    Just introducing myself.

    43 year old man and have suffered my whole like from Generalised Anxiety Disorder.

    I don't have any great issue in my life to attribute this to. (I suppose it wouldn't be a disorder if I did.) No abuse as a child. No addiction problems. Financially secure, good job, and in a loving relationship with two kids. Perfect health.

    And yet once every six months to a year, I will have a bad episode of anxiety. Impending doom. Tight chest. Obsessive thoughts. The awful sense that this time it will never go away, or that I'll go crazy. It's like a tedious re-run that I have to sit through every year.

    I'm on standard SSRI medication, and have been for twenty years. I occasionally see a counsellor, which always helps.

    When I'm not having bad episodes, I oscillate between feeling positive, and just on edge. Travel, especially airplanes bothers me, and I'll be stressed for at least a week beforehand if I have to give a presentation. But otherwise, I am often in good spirits. A lot of people are very surprised to hear about my issues when I tell them.

    As far as I can tell my annual/semi-annual episodes are triggered by some combination of physical tiredness and mental stress. Over-doing exercise, colds, hay-fever, lack of sleep, plus work deadlines, family issues, kids being kids and sometimes variation in medication. Some combination usually triggers me. Then I'll go through a cycle that usually follows:

    - initial sense of being over-whelmed

    - tight chest, cortisol burning through my arms and legs, trouble getting a full breath

    - the "I'm going crazy" thoughts - I'll end up in an asylum, I'll do something really dangerous (I hasten to add I've learnt to recognise these thoughts in particular as irrational fears; they are not impulses, and I've never come close to acting on them)

    - then a few days of feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack, or I'm about to snap, along with just not being able to put the thoughts out of my head. On top of that, there's a sense of altered consciousness. A feeling that this is the real reality - life is awful - and I will never go back to the other reality.

    - Finally, a lot of walking and talking and after a few weeks I start to feel better. Will be a few months before I truly get back to normal.

    I wanted to join BB to try and share a bit of my story, and also to give some hope to young people in particular. Despite all the above, I am a good news story. I've mostly had a normal life.

    Thanks for being here,

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Lovetochat
    Lovetochat avatar
    2 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Ultimate Worrier
    Thanks for sharing, Ultimate Worrier. I also have anxiety attacks. Am going thru one now, can't focus, feel lonely etc. My attacks are often triggered by changing circumstances. I found this forum, and the actions of joining, getting a user name etc, are calming me somewhat.
    1 person found this helpful
  3. Ultimate Worrier
    Ultimate Worrier avatar
    7 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Lovetochat
    Thanks for the welcome.

    Yes, the lack of focus is maddening. I'm pretty good at observing and accepting anxiety usually, but when it is overwhelming, it fogs my brain and my strategies help less.

    Do your attacks normally pass? I usually have a couple of bad days then it slowly improves from there, but it is disheartening when it first starts, knowing how long it will take.

    Take care
    1 person found this helpful
  4. Not_Batman
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Not_Batman avatar
    481 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Ultimate Worrier

    Hi Ultimate Worrier

    first, kudos on the name, very clever.

    second, welcome to the forums.

    Lastly, your story resonated with me a bit as there were many many similarities. My cycle seems to be 18 - 24 months apart, but hopefully i have a handle on it now.

    i first came here for help, then i came back to help others by sharing the experiences.

    thank you for extending your helping hands.

    Not_Batman

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Lovetochat
    Lovetochat avatar
    2 posts
    24 October 2020 in reply to Ultimate Worrier
    Hi Ultimate Worrier, my attacks are usually triggered by something, big or small. It could be an innocent comment from someone querying a decision I have made. Or bigger things such as chossing where to live. The anxiety goes round in my head and I can't relax and need to talk it over with people, then eventually it wears itself out. I have acouple of biggies at the moment. I am trying stategies to try to ease the panicky feelings.
  6. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9778 posts
    25 October 2020 in reply to Lovetochat

    Hi ultimate worrier

    Please google

    Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

    TonyWK

  7. Seeker61
    Seeker61 avatar
    1 posts
    3 April 2021 in reply to Lovetochat
    Hi, my anxiety seems to be escalating and it's scaring me. I can cruise along with out any issues and then all of a sudden I start thinking of all these different things to worry about. I'm putting across a completely different persona to everyone but I feel I'm dying inside. I have been feeling this way for a long time, I can't relax. I feel hyper all the time. If I am not worried I find something to worry about.
  8. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6816 posts
    3 April 2021 in reply to Seeker61
    Hey Seeker61,

    Welcome to the forums, and thank you so much for reaching out and sharing your experiences with our friendly community here. We're really sorry to hear what you've been going through with your anxiety, and can hear that it must be really worrying to feel like things are continuing to escalate. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and our Support Service are always available if you'd like to talk these feelings through on 1300 22 4636 or through webchat (1pm-midnight AEST) here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support. Our friends at Lifeline are also available to you 24/7 on 13 11 14 whenever things are feeling overwhelming to cope with.

    You might also like to create your own personal thread so that our community can continue to offer as much support, advice, and conversation as you need through this. We also have an FAQ thread here with tips and advice on how to get started. We're all here for you, Seeker61.

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