I’m am in a similar situation, I have a son who is the same age as yours, he also has adhd & been diagnosed with o.d.d & a.s.d level 2. The best piece of advice/help I ever received is; you need to look after yourself 1st, because if you don’t, you can’t look after anyone else. Like, if you’re in a plane & the oxygen masks come down, if you don’t put your’s on first, you can’t help others with theirs.