It’s been 7 months since she last had a proper conversation with me. I’ve been ultimately confused about why she’s not been talking with me. At the 3 month mark she friendzoned me and despite that we still had a good night catching up and talking a little bit. It’s been 4 months and 1 day since I’ve heard from her. A month and 1 day ago she randomly blocked all of my social media out of the blue. During these past 7 months, my mental illness has been really crippling me since her presence has gone and has allowed difficult events in the past 7 months to really depress me and pile up on top of the other things that are making me feel worse everyday. I’ve tried to communicate to her how I’ve been feeling while she “ghosted” me and she never responded. I was told that this was trauma dumping but I only learnt that a day ago on Christmas Day when it was one month since she blocked me. I’ve identified that I have very severe cases of Depression, Anxiety, OCD, Bipolar Disorder, Suicidal Thoughts, Self Harm, Eating Disorders, etc. I really miss her and I want to apologise to her about how I’ve been acting and feeling during this whole 7 month mess. We’ve known each other for 4-5 years and dated for 2 of them and it’s really been a really confusing 7 months and I don’t understand why she randomly stopped talking to me for 3 months, friendzoned me, ghosted me for another 3 months, blocked me and now we’re here at the 1 month 1 day mark and I’m literally on my knees begging her to come back so we can discuss what’s going on and finally move on from this whole seven sh*tty months. I’ve been feeling extremely suicidal during this time and I’m honestly thinking of planning my suicide after my 18th Birthday. She really meant so much to me and gave me someone to talk anything about to and someone who can help me with my mental illnesses. Now her disappearance and many other events in this time period are leading me closer to suicide. I feel nothing without her and I feel as if I need her in my life and I obsess over her (this is where I got my OCD from) and do weird things like pretend that she’s with me and pretend to hold her hand. I’m worried that she’ll do something really bad to herself because she’s feeling mentally crap too and I want to help her but we can’t see each other because of her parents and because she probably doesn’t have her P’s yet. The only way I talk to her is on social media but that was going to change this summer but now that I’m blocked idk :,(