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Forums / Welcome and orientation / My name is Zane I'm not sure what is wrong with me

Topic: My name is Zane I'm not sure what is wrong with me

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Worryzane
    Worryzane avatar
    6 posts
    1 May 2020

    Hey guys, i wrote this on monday night. I wanted to tell somebody, however i have nobody to tell it to. I also do not want to tell my parents. So i thought i would post it here.

    hello my name is zane and i think i have a problem. I'm worried and afraid of what most people consider normal events in everyday life. I think about the worst case scenario for every event that occurs during the day...even for the most mundane of things.

    just to give you an example, i'm worried when an energy or water bill does not arrive in the mail. My mind jumps to the conclusion that they will cut my electrcity or water. When a bank statement does not arrive, i would think that someone has stolen my mail to comit identity theft. Recently my fears were realised when i logged onto my bank account and saw that my accounts password were reset...they did not gain access but they tried. Now i'm constantly checking my online accounts.

    during highschool, i had very low self esteem and was bullied. During university, i just didn't know how to socialise or make friends. For the last 10 years (after graduation), i have been alone. The only people i talk to are my parents. However being alone gives me plenty of time to think about things. Plenty of time to think about worst case scenarios.

    i desperately want to change. I do not want to be alone. I want friends to talk to, so that i can gain in confidence. I do not want to worry as that is very tiring. Thank you guys for taking the time to read my post...any advice would be greatly appreciated.

  2. Rumples
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Rumples avatar
    94 posts
    2 May 2020 in reply to Worryzane

    Hi Worryzane :0)

    First of all, thank you for have the courage to reach out to us here at Beyond Blue. I want you to know that we understand and you're not alone. We're here to help you through this trying time in your life.

    First of all, have you sat down with your GP? This would be the first place you'd need to go and confide in as they can often be very beneficial in getting you back on the road to recovery. I'd strongly recommend you do this ASAP.

    "I'm worried and afraid of what most people consider normal events in everyday life - eg; energy or water bill arrives late my mind jumps to the conclusion that they will cut my electricity or water off".

    We all worry about everyday events Zane, some more than others. Provided you've paid the last bill, there's no need to worry they're going to cut you off? A great way to safeguard yourself is to have ALL your bills sent electronically to your email. The same with your bank statements. As for regularly checking your bank account online, that's a commonsense thing to do, most people do it, I know I do, and so do most people I know.

    "For the last 10 years (after graduation), I have been alone. The only people i talk to are my parents".

    You need to get out more Zane. New friends aren't going to come knocking on your door. Are you active on social platforms like Facebook? It's a great place to meet new people and make friends. There's all sorts of hobby groups from coin/stamp collecting, gold detecting, singles in Australia and so many more. It really is a great place to meet people. The fact that you've stated that you "want to makes friends and don't want to be alone" is a GREAT thing. It shows you want social interaction. Once you start making friends and getting out, I promise you a lot of your insecurities will fade away.

    Do me a favour please Zane, reach out to your GP and talk with him/her. That's for starters. Then, try joining Facebook groups that interest you. Think about "what do I like doing" and join those groups.

    I wold love to hear your thoughts.

    Your friend - Rumples

  3. Worryzane
    Worryzane avatar
    6 posts
    2 May 2020 in reply to Rumples

    Thanks for your reply rumples.

    I have not spoken to any medical professionals yet...my first steps is to talk about it online and go from there.

    I agree that finding friends will help with my insecurities, boost my confidence and take my mind off things. I have just started social media on facebook, joined a group and i will see how things go.

    I fear going out into the world and finding friends will be a lot tougher. I'm in my 30s, i haven't got any friends...talking to people of my same age (who may own properties, cars, families and friends) makes me feel inferior to them.

  4. Rumples
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    Rumples avatar
    94 posts
    2 May 2020 in reply to Worryzane

    Hey there Warryzane :0)

    That's sooooo good you're trying Facebook, it's a start. Take my advice and join several groups, the more the better. It'll be a great environment for you to hone your people skills by chatting (just like this) with complete strangers, without all the visual/face to face mumbo jumbo interfering.

    As for what people own and don't own, that's got nothing to do with anything Zane. I personally know people with great material wealth, but I'm most comfortable with my humblest of friends who are thrilled to just share a meal with me when I visit. Quite often it isn't their house, their renting, but it's their "home". Money and possessions aren't everything my friend.

    Let me tell you a true story from my life. Way back when I used to smoke, I was visiting a largish country town and I had a lit cigarette in my hand as I waited to cross at a set of lights. An old homeless man, sitting on sandstone steps of a building to my right called out "excuse me, I'll tell ya a story of old for one of them durries (cigarettes). Me, being as hard as a marshmallow, naturally responded and offered him two. He gently took one and said "no, one durry for one story, that was the deal, I might be down on my luck but I still have pride and integrity". With that he patted the sandstone step beside him with his wrinkly old weather beaten hand. Zane, on that day I never got so much enjoyment from four cigarettes and two hours invested with a wise old man. Together we sat there as he recalled stories of bullock trains, lumberjacks, building towns we all know and think nothing of today and gold miners finding wealth and poverty side by side. With a poor man taking the time from his diggings to bury his rich fellow miner who fell ill and died.

    You see my friend, sometimes the wealth isn't measured by money, houses or cars, it's measured by how full your cup of humanity is.

    Love to hear back from you

    Your friend - Rumples

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