Hi The rising
I'm not sure when my low self esteem hit, I think my whole life, it's my brain and when I do something not right, I go too fast or I make a mistake that's when it hits, even when I do something good and get a good mark, I don't believe it.
Part is society, as you look around & everyone needs to do the right thing to fit in, you don't fit in & your out, in the caveman times if people didn't fit in, you were "chucked" out of society, though nowadays you can't do that as much, people need to survive or you get put gaol.
I think that's my fear, not accepting myself for my "weirdness". Of doing the wrong thing, yesterday on the phone I was on for a long time and I forgot to wipe the phone of my makeup! I did wipe it after being told.
Another fear is saying something stupid and the consequences of that, though as an example, look at Donald Trump, he constantly says stupid things & people are always wanting him to be more smart. At the end of the day he doesn't care what anyone says, not that I like him mind, I hope he gets voted out.
I'm turning into a miserable gut, though I have everything to be happy, I have a job, a house, my health, everything you could want! Just have a low self esteem and shyness, in public I can't seem to come out of my shell. Isn't that what society wants, for fun people, people to make light, jokes, they don't want a "boring" person.
Yes, I do need to be more accepting of myself
And I'm being self pity again.