Reasons why I am depressed - Relationship failures (Big one here is the fact due to no reason at all, my ex refuses to let me and my daughter spend time together), Previous inability to keep a job for long enough time frame.  And lastly, due to my ABI I suffered in February 2012 from a fall.

When I get down, I drink alcohol and tend to snuggle up to comfort foods. Majority of the time these things are impossible to speak about with your family and closest friends, that 1 person that always knew what to say and make you feel better turns out to be a compulsive liar all for money.

That 1 person was my massage therapist, I fell for her, only ended up wanting to be friend with her though. Tough ask I know therapist and client. Overall in the 11 months I booked her, just over $9,000 was spent on bookings and gifts. Weekly bookings.

These days I try to find things that make me happy and I do them but more times than not i have far too much spare time on my hands, I over think things.

I'm 39 and love sport, massages (lol) spending money when I have it on clothes, things on kogan, and when I feel iffy, I spend the money on junk food/drink. No wonder I find it difficult to lose weight especially when I am feeling down. I also like to take it easy, long warm showers, sometimes sleep in, that afternoon nap on cold days watching foxtel with my electric blanket on is damn fine ha ha.

Well I am here now. I will post once in a while, so HELLO!.

And to make things worse, my ex massage therapist said yeah we are friends, then when she leaves the industry, ignores me and gets her work mate receptionist to tell me she wants me to stop contacting her, yet she was more than happy to be my friend cos I have plenty of money to flash. Well there you go, just because you might be well off with money, money never guarantees happiness.

Time to move on and to find a lovely lady that likes me for me and not just cos of my money. And YES I fall easily for the right lady. What I will also do, is never close any door/window as you never know where you will find nice friends, those who wants to be friends for the right seasons.

Hi Internal Sadness,

Welcome to Beyond Blue and to the forum here.

Just wondering if you and your ex went to court over the matter of you have access with your daughter? is there any way you can see her with perhaps a family member present?

Have you spoken with a Dr about your depression?

Would you consider joining a gym to help with your fitness and weight control? I am not a gym person myself but do try to go swimming 3 days a week, at least it is a bit of exercise.

Can you find some foods that you do like that are healthier for you so when you have a craving, you have a more healthy choice. Maybe nuts and dry fruit perhaps.

Maybe next time you form a close friendship with someone, don't be so generous with the gifts!

I can certainly understand the massage bit. I would love to be able to afford one every week. That would be delightful! Maybe next time chose a few different people to give you a massage, spread it around a little.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools