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Forums / Welcome and orientation / People are noticing, I feel fake!

Topic: People are noticing, I feel fake!

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. youcantknow
    youcantknow avatar
    27 posts
    5 March 2019


    So I'm usually so good at hiding it, people always comment on how positive I am! how I'm friends with everyone, which is true I hate nobody only dislike some peoples behaviours at that time. i know that probably sounds stupid but its really the way I think! Everyone thinks I'm perfect, besides my close friends that know parts of the truth, they know the story of me, but not all the mental health issues that go with the story, like they know I've got anxiety because well long story short friends have been in the wrong place at the wrong time-drune panic/anxiety attacks or meltdowns and now i randomly talk about my anxiety but not like the way it is! My coordinator asked me to stay back the other day and asked me if i was ok? of course i replied with yes of course(i course i wasn't). He continued to say that I've still been my positive self but Ive seemed a little sad lately. i assured him i was fine. i thought nobody noticed everyone usually think I'm fine because im always smiling!! i feel fake!!! i can't help it, i have to push through and show everyone i am fine, i am strong and i can cope no matter! i don't want anyone to know I'm not fine! please help I'm over faking it! it takes up so much of little energy i have!!! help?

  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    6045 posts
    6 March 2019 in reply to youcantknow

    Hi, welcome

    Putting the accurate perspective on your mental health and conveying that can be a challenge

    Many of us dont like that attention and they have limited ability to help anyway.

    But that semi closed petsona isnt helping you. It wouldnt hurt to say "I'm a little sad at the moment but it's just a phase".

    The other thing is a hidden illness you might not be aware of. My sadness that plagued me all my life is dysthymia (apart from bipolar, depression anxiety etc).

    So a visit to your GP would be the best move.


    1 person found this helpful
  3. Jb12345
    Jb12345 avatar
    2 posts
    7 March 2019 in reply to youcantknow

    Hi there

    You sound very similar to me! It is very tiring, I hear you. At the risk of being hypocritical, maybe its time you just say to someone "look no I'm not ok atm, I'm exhausted." But be mindful of who you choose as not everyone can handle helping someone suffering from something like this and losing that support after finally reaching out can be tough to deal with. Just know there are people out there who definitely understand and do want to help. You can do it 😁

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Hezzie
    Hezzie avatar
    2 posts
    7 March 2019 in reply to youcantknow

    Please don't think that being 'not fine' is OK and that you have to hide it away. You don't have to share it with every single person you meet, but it's a good idea to share with people you are in regular contact with. Especially your boss. They will then know whats going on the days you seem a little off and won't presume/guess what's going on instead.

    You will also feel a weight lifted from the constant need to put up a facade of being positive, happy all the time either which might actually help you to feel a little more positive and happy actually :)

    Here for you whenever you need an ear to listen.

    I have clinical depression, acute anxiety and an eating disorder. I'm a 37 year old wife to a very understanding husband and Mother to two beautiful children (7 year old and 3 year old). I work full time and have recently discovered that sharing my feelings and illness with my line manager, husband and close friends has took a lot of strain and pressure off.

    Take care

    1 person found this helpful
  5. youcantknow
    youcantknow avatar
    27 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to Hezzie
    thanks for the support!
  6. youcantknow
    youcantknow avatar
    27 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to Jb12345
    thanks:) Its hard to think of the right words to say and how to word it so they don't treat you different/ or start thinking that your weird or wharever!
  7. youcantknow
    youcantknow avatar
    27 posts
    15 March 2019 in reply to Jb12345
    thanks:) just hard to know how to word it!
  8. OllieB
    OllieB  avatar
    1 posts
    25 March 2019 in reply to youcantknow
    Sorry I'm not much help, but I totally get this. Only my sister knows what I'm going through right now and even then she thinks it's just stress I've been lying about counselling and doctors appointments and I really don't like it. I'm usually the one to help others and now I feel like I'm falling apart and I don't know how to tell the people around me. I'm so sick of the how are to today? My response is always the same- great how about you- I'm just so sick of pretending and it only makes things worse, but at the same time I don't know how to stop.

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