When I was in primary school, I began to realize that I started to look different from a lot of the other girls, I started to gain weight and because of it I became quiet, awkward and embarrassed. I'm now in grade 11 in high school and it has gotten worse. I'm so embarrassed by the way I look, about my weight and about what others think of me that I have stopped bringing food to school because i don't want anyone to judge me, so on week days the only thing I eat is dinner. Every time I look in the mirror I cry or feel like it.

About a month ago, i tried to learn to love myself but recently I ended up finding it really difficult because my best friend for 5 years is leaving me for other gorgeous, skinny, flawless people, making me feel worthless by comparison. Before she left me I noticed that she would never want to hang out with me which left me to assume that she is embarrassed to be seen with me.

For a long time I've been feeling scared and worried to do a lot of things, things as simple as leaving the house or going to school. In some other events, I fidget a lot, sweat, can't focus/zone out, occasionally shake and i'm constantly worried. I always think this is anxiety but i can't be sure because I have not been tested for it as my mum will not let me. I always feel terrible about myself as I implied earlier and everything i do always seems useless, i'm worried that because of this I've developed depression, but once again, my mum will not allow me to get tested for it.

I don't really know what to do about any of this and I would really love some suggestions on what i should, how i can make changes. I would also like to know if anyone else who has had any of these problems and how you've overcome them, thank you.

Hi Briana, thank you for reaching out to us tonight. I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a hard time and having depressive and anixious feelings.   If you'd like to talk these feelings through please contact us anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12.00am (AEST). The counsellors can offer you some support and information about help available. Another service that focuses on  supporting  young people is Headspace on 1800 650 890 or www.eheadspace.org.au. Hope that you continue to reach out so that you can get the right support for you.

Hi Briana C

Wish I was there to give you the biggest hug!

You're beginning an important journey in regard to serious self questioning. 'Who am I? What am I doing right or wrong (all perception)? How can I make changes?' I know many who don't give necessary change much thought at all, so you're ahead of them. You are highly conscious and asking 'How can I love myself? How can I reject feeling judged? How can I develop skills in keeping good physical and mental health?' Will let you in on a secret: I'm a 49yo mum of 2 and finally, after all this time, I've made it. I deeply love myself, I realise judgement from others is based on their less conscious belief systems and my mental health has never been this good. Yes, I've still got a bit of work to do on the physical aspect but I know I'll get there. What works for me - I've raised myself for years in little ways, largely on my own.

I've faced a number of challenges over the years, including coming out of depression. Whilst some folk raised me through my adult years by throwing bits of sage advice at me here and there and by bringing a smile to my face occasionally, I went higher. For example:

• My love of the spiritual/natural side of life received and still receives a lot of criticism ('You're weird, crazy'). I committed to it and maintained my love for it because it gave me a high. Doesn't mean I didn't cry occasionally and feel worthless with some self-doubt. But here I am today, feeling the way I do because of this passion and the sense of value and guidance it gives me

I just want to let you know that every time we face challenge, if we are conscious in raising our self to meet it - we rise, with or without help. The higher we rise, the more in love with our self we become.

Be careful when it comes to energy. Eat more. Eating a lot of healthy high energy foods comes with few calories (esp plant based stuff). If anyone wants to criticise, let them. In your mind you can be thinking 'You fool, can't you see I'm raising myself (and my metabolism)?!' Eventually folk may comment on how great you look which may lead you to think 'How shallow are you?!'

When we raise our self (beyond the limited thinking of others) they may begin to argue that we're living wrong. They can appear a little crazy. Don't let them bring you down, whilst you're aiming high!

Accept the challenge Briana. You're already on the path. What is the 1st way you can consciously raise your self on this path? Enjoy the high it gives you.

:)