This may sound minor but I wanted to get it out there,
Recently I have been experiencing extreme comedowns after enjoyable events in my life. Three events in particular have really impacted me.
1. A couple of years ago I went to visit my family in the UK for a few weeks on my own. This was a pretty monumental step for me, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. In fact, apart from coming home to see my direct relatives I had very little reason to want to return at all. After coming back I fell into deep depression for a good few months and struggled with returning to the boring school life I had left behind for three weeks. I'm sure everyone experiences post-holiday blues to some degree but it was to the point where I was crying in bed at night.
2. I entered a youth rock competition with my band and we did very well. It was a pretty large competition and certainly the largest crowd we have ever performed in front of. We performed our set almost perfectly and I came down from the stage in a state I can only describe as ecstasy. We also made friends with a couple of other acts. In the days following the competition I began to feel more and more depressed that it was over, that I would have to wait another year to enter again. Once again, this seriously impacted my life and made me feel unmotivated and directionless when starting new things.
3. Recently I attended my college band camp which I was sure I would not enjoy. Surprisingly, I made some great friends and had some great laughs. Unfortunately, all of these friends were from my school's sister school and It is highly likely I wont see most of them for another year. I enjoyed my time with them more than my regular friends and now that I am back I am starting to question whether I am in a productive relationship as well as feeling the same lack of motivation as before.
Once again, I know these sound minor but they are starting to ruin my mood in enjoyable situations. I often find myself consciously making an effort to enjoy certain events or feeling sad when they happen because 'I'll never experience this again'. I'm finding it extremely difficult to live in the moment and enjoy life as this feeling is beginning to dominate my life. Thankfully I am not on drugs, from this experience I think I would fall apart on them.
If you have any advice please let me know.