I feel for you so very much as you face the challenges that have come to meet you in your life. I believe, while basic challenges are easy to make sense of and get through, it's the seriously tough ones that both test us and reform us. The seriously tough ones can also become depressing.
So, how to reform our self when we've got little idea of how exactly to go about it and little inspiration to boot? It helps to pay attention to the people around you when you're desperate for support. 'You need to get your license and get a job' are simply opinions when they don't come with a helpful management plan. You may even question those around you, 'How do I achieve these things, under the circumstances (COVID, depression etc)?' and maybe be met with 'I don't know'. Hmmm...yeah...good management plan (not). Do you find people are giving you advice but they're not really helping you manage in ways that can really make a significant difference? Are people typically dealing out the same old uninspiring poop? Do you ever wonder why they're uninspiring? Have you ever considered that the people around you, including ex girlfriends, aren't fully aware of how to raise others? When in a low, how do or did these people raise you from a low to a high? How did or do they raise you from uninspired to inspired? What about sameness to difference or confusion to revelation?
Smitty, I'm a self raiser. This stems from having left 15 or so years of depression behind me. Part of how I manage to stay out of a depression involves raising myself in a number of ways. Yes, this lock down in Melbourne seriously triggers me to find the best in myself (in new ways).
When you're sensitive, it's easy to sense what others can't at times. It's kind of like a super power in a way
- You can sense a lack of support and it can feel depressing
- You can sense a lack of excitement and it can feel soul destroying
- You can sense the carelessness of others and it can feel triggering, triggering many emotions and questions worth asking
Could go on but you get the gist.
So, when you're a sensitive person, with such abilities, others can appear to behave in a senseless manner. They may even say 'You need to toughen up!' Hmm, yes, thank you; I will become insensitive, that will work well. Oh, no it won't, I can tell you. I like to feel my way through a challenge, to sense where I'm at.
Would you say you're sensitive to a deep desire to reform but don't know exactly how to go about it?