Hi, i'm a new member and i just wanted to get some advice about my current situation!
im a very active person, and i constantly strive to get fitter and stronger but the last two years have been really hard, ive dived in and out of binge eating and bulimia and in a way i think its because when i get fitter and stronger my figure isnt as skinny as nice as models, and all my family members constantly make comments about my weight and my figure and keeping myself slimmer, or as a girl i shouldn't be aiming to to so sporty, i'm not going to become a professional athlete anyway.
Of course im not going to become an athlete but i don't see any reason i shouldnt be able to play sport. ive been forced to quit sports that i love so dearly because it gives me broad shoulders, or big legs and ive been told to go on long runs which i hate just to lose weight because my parents think my muscle is fat.
my mum is incredibly strict on her own diet, constantly weighing herself and showing off her weight, and even my dad says he wont accept it if im not a certain weight. this was a while ago but it still hurts so much.
ive recently had both a meniscus and ACL injury from football and my surgery was in late August. that means a full year before i am allowed to play any kind of contact sports and its been about 48 days and ive only just started to be able to squat again.
When i first heard about my injury i was so, so, so devastated. i was about to start my rowing season and i was ready to get fitter and fitter. being unable to do sport but still being hungry all the time while doing nothing is so hard. i cannot lose weight or get fitter being unable to do anything. my mum says shes glad i wasn't able to row becuase it would give me broad shoulders.
i don't understand why its up to her what my body should look like. but at the same time while i love getting fitter and stronger, i don't like how my body looks and i still need to reduce my body fat %.
my family members keep giving me backhanded compliments, saying oh your legs look SO NICE now, because i haven't been able to work out and theyve slimmed down to a more feminine shape and it makes me feel so bad when they comment on it literally everyday.
i feel like im not understood and i really wish i was