Ive been wondering for a while if I should post something
but I didn't really know what to say
I guess I've been feeling sad for a while. Recently, I just
don't know. I don't know what to do.
I'm in my first year of uni and I moved to a different
state. I think I'm going to move back home at the end of the year for a few
reasons but mainly because I miss my parents.
I have social anxiety I guess. I got help last year and
things are improving, but I feel like because I had it for so long without
realising, it affected me a lot.
I don't have friends here or back home. My only friend was
my twin sister but we got into an argument and haven't talked for a more than a
month. We often argue and that's why I think it's partly good we aren't
talking, but I also don't really have anyone else.
I call my parents and usually talking to them makes me feel
better but it's hard because they're so far away.
I have a roommate but it's hard for me to talk to her and
I'm not sure I would feel comfortable talking to her about personal stuff
I can't tell if I'm actually having trouble sleeping or if
it's my own fault. I wake up feeling okay in terms of mood (just tired) and I
don't have problems with motivation much except uni makes me tired a lot.
I don't think I feel lonely, but I'm not sure. I don't want to
talk to anyone though. I don't really want to try to make friends right now
because I don't feel like I'm in the right headspace.
Online uni is hard, but I'm kind of relieved I don't have to
go out and interact with people in person.
I’ve kind of had a sad week because of some things that happened,
but it’s too hard to write about.
I feel like I should talk to a psychologist or something. The one I went to before is in my home state. When I left she said we could do an online session if I needed it, but I can't really bring myself to ask now. It just seems like too much. I don't know.
I feel like I'm so horrible at communicating. I'm sorry.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.