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Forums / Young people / I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

Topic: I feel like everyone hates me and I don’t like who I am, I’m not sure what to do

8 posts, 0 answered
  1. C.O.D
    C.O.D avatar
    3 posts
    30 December 2020

    This is my first time posting anything so I’m sorry if what I say is wrong or if it makes no sense, I’m a little nervous about this. I’m just gonna share a few things, and ask for some thoughts.

    Whenever I talk to some of my friends, it feels like everyone is ignoring me. I could say something or ask a question and then the topic changes, at it doesn’t happen all the time but it happens enough to the point that I’m starting to think this way.

    I could say a joke then, someone might say “that’s not funny”, or “that’s disgusting”, but then someone else a few minutes later says word for word what I said, and everyone laughs. It confuses me and then I think to myself, am I the problem?

    In that group of friends, one of them I’m good friends with, but sometimes she does stuff that make me question weather or not she want to be friends at all. We might say let’s play a game in a few minutes, the she’s playing with another person and says she’ll play in an hour, when I ask why she didn’t say to the other person that she said she was gonna play with me, she says she forgot, (granted this has only happened twice). Another time I asked if she wanted to do something on the weekend, she said she couldn’t cause she was doing family stuff, then I hear from other friend that they were all going out somewhere and not only was this about a few days after I asked her, but none of them invited my until about 10pm the night before.

    This next part is me hating my self. In short, I’m fat. I know I am and I’m trying to lose weight, but I wake up one morning with so much confidence, but then a week later I’m back to where I started. I’m trying to go on a low carb diet, so that I can burn more fat because I’m not interested in building a lot of muscle, but

    1. My dad is feeding me a lot of carbs and when I told him I wanted to diet he just told me I don’t know what I’m talking about

    2. The people around me aren’t supportive at all, whenever I get back from what ever workout I was doing, I might tell them what I did, they just say they don’t care and what ever I did was nothing compared to what they can do.

    for the most part, the only 2 reasons I want to keep going is so that no one can call me fat again, and so that I’m not ashamed of who I am and I can finally be looked at as an equal rather than dirt.

    I’m sorry if what I’ve said is just “teen issues” I just have no one to ask for help and I wanted to know if anyone has gone through something similar and knows how to cope.

  2. Creative1
    Creative1 avatar
    3 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to C.O.D

    Hi, I understand how you feel and I was in a similar position where I felt that my friend group that I was with for the longest time didn’t appreciate me and ignored me. I know it may seem hard at the moment to look at the positives but the only thing I can advise you to do it try and join another group who appreciates you, granted what I am saying sounds hard but trust me you will feel so much better after the initial moment.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. Matchy69
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Matchy69 avatar
    3856 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to C.O.D
    Hi C.O.D and welcome to the forums and your first brave thread Being felt like and being left out is really common.It happens at all ages.At a young age when everyone is trying to find their way in this world it really does effect you.You want to be liked,heard and understood.One thing I would say is just be yourself and you don't need to change and be proud of who you are.You will find your group of friends will change and the dynamics of groups will change in the years to come.You sound like an amazing person and am sure you will click with people that appreciate you.
    Take care,
    Mark.
    1 person found this helpful
  4. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    4836 posts
    31 December 2020 in reply to C.O.D

    hi and welcome to the forums. It takes courage and strength to the post your inner most thoughts on the forums - so well done to you. Please do not be nervous as the people here are all supportive and non-judgemental.

    One of my teachers in high school said these are the best years of your life. How true and UNTRUE that statement was - "friends" point out our faults (they have no filter), ignore, tease etc. At a time when you are trying to work out your place in the world this can have both a positive and negative effect on you. (I have 2 kids that have just or recently finished high school.) And perhaps the one thing you want is to be accepted.

    Tell me about some of the things you like doing. Your interests?

    The other things you mentioned your post are important, but I will wait to respond. You could also have a look at kids helpline (https://kidshelpline.com.au/) which has loads of resources you might find useful. Looking forward to chatting with you some more.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. C.O.D
    C.O.D avatar
    3 posts
    4 January 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Sorry for long reply, I've been busy with family stuff.

    I'm just an average teenager I guess, I enjoy gaming, music, playing guitar. Not much else to me.

    I do want to feel accepted but it just feels like some of my friends just kick me to the side. Although I do agree with you, teen years are the best and worst.

    Sorry for a short response, I'm not sure what else to put

    1 person found this helpful
  6. smallwolf
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    smallwolf avatar
    4836 posts
    4 January 2021 in reply to C.O.D

    Hi. You don't need to apologise for the length of a reply. They are as long or short as they need to be.

    Sounds like you are into music. Do you friends also play music or have similar musical tastes to you? Do you play in a band? Possibly another way to find like mined people to chat with.

    I also noticed from your 1st post about wanting to have a low carb diet. How is that going?

    Do you mind if I asked you some questions about exercise as well? I do a fair bit of walking - to and from work which helps builds up the kms per week. When I see my GP she suggests I could lose a few kilos.

    Remember that real change works best over the long term. And just take each day one at a time.

    Talk to you soon,

    Tim

    1 person found this helpful
  7. cabbagebus
    cabbagebus avatar
    9 posts
    5 January 2021 in reply to C.O.D

    Hey COD,

    I believe that intentions are what matter and it sounds like you are just trying to do your best and you shouldn’t be hard on yourself if people don’t respond kindly. Being well liked doesn’t make someone a good person and being disliked doesn’t make someone a bad person. Sometimes people’s responses say more about them than they do about you. Also, I know it can be hard when you feel like dirt, but I hope you can get through it in your own time.

    Your good friend probably did just forget. There’s also the possibility that she just didn’t realise how important it was for her to keep her word or realise how you felt about her changing to play with someone else. I think that it’s more likely that people just go with whatever is easier and what they feel like doing at the time rather than thinking about how it will affect their friends. It’s possible your friends are just a bit immature too. If you haven’t talked to your good friend about it, maybe you should. I think that her saying she was doing family stuff and then going out without you (until they invited you the night before) must have hurt and I don’t think she’s being a good friend by doing that. Maybe it would help to explain to her how it made you feel and ask her to be more inclusive next time. Sometimes people don't realise what they are doing.

    I don’t know what to say about losing weight, but I just want to offer my support and encouragement. I think you’re really taking a step in the right direction if that’s what you really want. It sucks that your family isn’t being supportive, but I think it’s brave of you to try anyway and I think you’re doing a really good job by working out. Everyone of any weight deserves to feel safe and happy and I hope you feel better and more included soon.

    If you like playing games and want to take a break from your friends then maybe playing some story-based single player games could be really fun if it’s something you’re interested in.

    CB :)

    1 person found this helpful
  8. C.O.D
    C.O.D avatar
    3 posts
    7 January 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Yea music is a big passion of mine, most of my friends have the same tastes as me. I used to play in a band for school, but I quit cause I wasn't enjoying it that much. Now I pretty much just play guitar and bass in my room, I would try to play in a band, but I personally don't think I'm good enough to and also the people I do know who play don't want to.

    As with exercising, it's weird. Without going into too much detail, I have divorced parents. So when I'm at my mums, I lift weights, do core workouts, and a little bit for my legs, plus I eat low carb. When I'm at my dads, I eat way too many carbs than what I want to, and I go on runs, but because of what I'm eating, I'm just burning energy and never burning fat. On top of that, at both houses I do two hour long boxing classes. I'm not expecting to lose a lot of weight quickly, but I do lose motivation when any progress that I've made, gets reversed because of my two households. Though I am hoping that I can fix that situation soon

    Thanks for your responses, It's really helped me get a grip of where I am

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