As the title suggests, I keep losing things. I've lost two mykis over the past month, and my airpod case today. I don't know what's wrong with me, I think maybe i'm a bit stressed so I'm absentminded.

But I'm sick of feeling anxious about things that I've lost. It's starting to make me lose concentration on literally everything else, and like everyone else has their life together except me. How do I stop losing things, and moreover, beating myself up about it so much that I can't focus on my life?

Hi there and welcome to the forums.

Absent-mindedness could possibly be due to experiencing stress, so I guess by working on what it is that's causing you stress, could improve the losing things. Can you identify any particular thing going on in your life that might be causing you stress? You don't have to share if you don't want to, of course. But thinking about what's going on might enable you to make some positive changes in your life, if needed.

As for everyone else having their life together, well that's of course, untrue. Sometimes our thoughts, especially when we don't examine them, can be pretty unhelpful. We can be kind to ourselves, by treating ourselves the way we would others. If someone else lost things sometimes, you wouldn't tell them to get their life together. Go easy on you, we're all imperfect, and that's ok.

If you'd like to talk, I'm happy to listen :)

Katy

Hi tired and hungry,

I am older than you and I still lose things. My children say don’t buy Mum anything good or she I’ll lose it or break it.
I have always been clumsy.
Everyone loses something so you are human.

You mentioned feeling anxious, overwhelmed, losing things and having difficulty concentrating. I have experienced the same problems. Have you looked into ADHD? Even without being diagnosed, the tips to deal with these challenges have been really helpful for me. Youtube tips are particularly helpful (try https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CvODrpfnaA&ab_channel=HowtoADHD) . It also made me realise there is not anything "wrong" with me, my mind just works differently, and there are measures I can take that can help.

Trying harder is not always effective especially if you are doing too much already. Trying something different can help. You are not alone. It only seems like people have their life together, I certainly don't. Sometimes the simplest things are the hardest. You are also carrying your stress with you the whole time.

I really do understand how frustrating to lose things, particularly when you don't have any idea where it is. There are little tracking things you can get to put on important items you lose all the time, such as your phone, wallet and keys.

Make sure everything has a place so you can try and put things away instead of putting them down. Consider perhaps needing a better or more convenient place. I have a bowl in every room to put my keys in, which cuts down the searching time. You could do a similar thing with your AirPods.

As for losing things in the world, try labelling things with contact info so it can be returned to you.

Sometimes the stress of trying to find something isn't worth it, I often just replace things. Sometimes the original turns up and then I have a spare.

Writing things down where I can see it really helps me focus and remember things.

Good luck. It is okay to lose things, but it really will get better.

Dear tiredandhungry,

I get very absentminded when I'm stressed and while I haven't lost things, I definitely have come close, in that I've left things around and then panicked and gone back to look for those things. Lucky me, I've managed to find the things I thought I lost, with the exception of a $50 note that I still beat myself up for years on. Hopefully the person who picked it up put it to good use.

Anyway, there's nothing you can do to prevent yourself from losing things because when you're absentminded, you don't really notice these things. So the only way to help yourself is to try and stop the absentmindedness. If your thoughts keep drifting or your mind keeps going blank, try bringing yourself back to the present whenever you notice it happening. Apart from that, perhaps you need to accept that absentmindedness is a stress-related reaction that you have and be gentler on yourself. After all, no one is perfect.

Kindly,
M