Ahoy,

Years ago I suffered panic attacks every now and then, I learnt how to control them and I was proud of myself. But recently, with the uprise with COVID 19, there has been a lot of things that have been happening all at once and it's very overwhelming. Ive been having panic attacks everyday for the last week and a half, they are triggered every time when I try to study :( I feel hopeless, exhausted and I just want to be happy.

University - With University going fully online, Im struggling with finding motivation. Im undertaking a full-time physics degree which is quite hard and Im struggling a lot with the content. I really want to become a physicist, but Im now having self doubts that Im not smart enough which is heartbreaking.

Social life - I have a poor social life. Im always the girl that is the extra in the group, never feeling like Im valued and if I left they wouldn't notice. I continue to have hope and try to make good friends.... but Im always getting hurt. I try to smile to people, join sport and social clubs but they have all proven to be unsuccessful. I currently renting a household with some roommates, I don't really get along with them..... I feel like an alien when I try to talk to them. Having no true friends and living in a house with no one to talk to, I find myself feeling alone all the time.

No money - Im struggling to save money. I work at a place that will only give me 4-6 hours a week. I've had the thought of another job, but then my financial support will cut my payments. Also working another job, Im worried that it will effect my time to study as-well. With struggling to save money, I cant get my hair cut, buy makeup and other self care items, thus causing a decline in my self esteem.

Future- Im scared of the future. I don't know what to expect, and I don't know what to do. I don't want this mental status in the future, I try to change and heal but I always continue to find.myself back in this awful panic state which is making me feel alone and helpless.

Thank you, :)

Hi CSmith1

Welcome to the forum and to a community that will listen and support you, to give you some comfort and to help you get some of your worries off your chest. I might start with saying though that I have never actually experienced a panic attack so for that I am very grateful but I want to say that from what I have heard they are terrifying so I am really sorry you are going through this now.

We are navigating through some unusual times with COVID-19 and the new information everyday and what we have to do, or infact not do, to get through this time. But we will, it is just a moment in time, it might be weeks and it might be months, which is hard, but we are all experiencing this so it is somewhat easier to see why and how it is effecting others as we too are doing it also. Life is kind of on pause for a moment and when it resumes as we knew it I really believe we are going to come out for it better people. Appreciation for our loved ones, for our jobs for our planet, I think it will be really wonderful to see the love everyone has been harboring poor out.

Uni is tough, Physics is a huge challenge so I congratulate you on being able to do that subject, I am sure it is that little more difficult when you are not feeling your best and you are having panic attacks as well as really doubting your worth. So many people your age are in the same boat as you and I am yet to understand fully why this happens at this age, is it the new learning at Uni? Is the the unknown for the future? Is it the expectations for you to have your life sorted? I am not sure but it sure seems to me that there is so much pressure. Can I say I am 45 years old and I still find new things that I want to do, that I learn about, that I want to explore. I think as long as we are here we learn and experience, so why the pressure on a young person to have it all sorted?

Have you considered a trip to your GP? maybe just to have a chat and to get some things off your chest and to see if there is some extra help or support needed for you at this time? It might really help.

It sure is tricky sharing a house with different people and personalities, sometimes it works and sometimes they are just not your crew, but that does not mean you are worthless or not valid, just means they are not your people. Is that something that could be considered, a change of living environment where you do feel wanted?

It has been great to chat to you CSmith1

Huge hugs to you

Sarah xx