What do I feel like ? Sad ? Lost ? Lazy? Confused, frustrated, angry, annoyed , disappointed, secure ? Loved ?? Left out ? Betrayed yet nothing has been done. Childish throwing a little tantrum. Pissed off because life isn't great yet I'm living comfortably. Hi I'm A-non, im a 21 ex apprentice metal fabricator (NO I WILL NOT TOUCH A TRADE) who lost his job a year ago, spent the next 8 months after that hiding myself in the comfort of myself pity sadness and depression while building bad dissasociative behaviour and then rebuilding my self confidence over that same period just to get a job. Lost it, but now I'm confident enough to normally act like me and go into public which i was scared of doing for 6 months. Had a neverous break down with close family at friends at my 21st (yaaayy what an amazing 21st, no I didn't have a party, my family and friends came last minute to try cheer me up aha.....) that was kinda a turning point for me but yet even so this year felt so shit I still feel like life has so much more worse in stored for me and I don't know if I'm ready for any of it ( NO one isn't) I'm an emotional person at heart when I say I care I do and when I say I don't care I still care, especially with people I dare call friends. I may not be the best person myself but, I sure do try a lot harder then most I know I have tried harder than most, I'm pretty realistic and consistently talking to myself and worrying about the things I do, but I've gotten to a point where now I'm just shallow, empty, transparent and unmotivated, you could pretty much say that when you need me that's not me. I'm sad and I want it to stop so can I just stop it?? Thanks for reading this guys, none of this Makes sense but it's better than letting my friends and family how I'm really going because they frustrate me and make me happy but in the end I'm really just Exghausted with life and I'm only 21.