First post in a long time. Forgot this was here.
I've been struggling with a scary concept. I can't say what I like in people, as in, I cannot tell what makes me enjoy people's company.
Even my best friend of many years. I cannot physically think of the words to describe my feelings. When they talk badly about themselves, I feel the need to remind them I love them, but I know you'd usually want to hear something beyond just. I love you?
But if I try to get to the bottom of my emotions it's empty. I don't know what I like. I can go for generic "you're funny!" comments but it feels fake.
I've been watching a lot of videos about yt drama between people, just as junk food basically, but this phrase stuck to me and is making me paranoid that I'm not a good friend. Paraphrased, this person spoke about how the lack of certainty and details in the compliments someone made meant they were insincere and never liked the people they spoke about.
Sorry if this is a ridiculous thing to ask. I just don't understand why I'm so dumb here.
Fyi, I am seeing a psychiatrist and am on a waiting list for a psychologist.
Tl;dr - Can't pinpoint positive traits to make friends feel loved, feel like I am fake/broken.