Video Transcript
Nicole's Story - Coping strategies for anxiety and trauma
When I was little I always wanted to grow up and be a dancer. I was really loud and bubbly and bright and laughing always.
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I was put in a position where a very very familiar and comforting environment was no longer safe. It was something that I had to endure for some time and endure alone.
I started to exhibit OCD tendencies, that led into pulling my hair. My confidence was just further deteriorating.
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Out of school, I was still very much in the headspace that I wanted to dance full-time, to create a professional career out of it. But after I completed my dance course, I unfortunately ruptured my hamstring and that just made me feel broken again.
I loved dancing. It was this one thing this one outlet that allowed me to digest my emotions and I had to give it up.
I lost routine. I would just lay there and stare at the ceiling, and because I was then really not in-check with with my emotions, a lot of that backlash would really impact my relationship with my partner.
I would push him away and he casually suggested maybe you just need to speak to someone. It was terrifying. I remember going to a GP explaining that I'm just, I'm not doing okay.
They weren't asking why I felt like that, they were simply saying "okay, we understand you feel that way. These are the options that we can explore" and I think that was a switch. That it wasn't something to be judged, or pitied on. It was something to figure out how to manage.
I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and with that, another diagnosis was trichotillomania, which is the compulsive hair picking, as well as anxiety and depression.
Once the floodgates opened, I realized that those closest to me would understand me better and would be able to support me better, if I explained what had happened to me.
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There's times where I'm doing great and I feel like I've got a handle on things, and then there's some times where I just have to stop and let myself have those emotions and have those days where I don't feel 100.
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My focus with dance now is to use it as a place of happiness. It's more the social aspect of it and the connections that you make with the people that you dance with. You're not trying to fight this battle by yourself anymore, there's hope and there's things to look forward to
