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Forums / Depression / YOU CAN DO IT: Recovery from major depression

Topic: YOU CAN DO IT: Recovery from major depression

18 posts, 0 answered
  1. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    18 April 2016

    When I had major depression I wanted to learn from people who had experienced it and recovered. I am such a person and I write this in case it will give you hope.

    Let me start by telling you how sick I was before describing my current life and aspects of my journey.

    When I was 26, my life was derailed my major depression. I had been a hard working and ambitious professional with a high paying job and a bright future. Depression surfaced after personal and professional disappointments and loomed as insomnia, loss of appetite and disinterest in life. Ultimately, I was so depressed I was unable to cope at work and eventually found myself in a mental health facility. During this time, I experienced psychosis, mania (that has resulted in me being diagnosed/labeled as bipolar although the mania lasted 24 hours) and OCD in spite of being medicated. Back then holistic help for a mentally unwell person like me was hard to find. I was out of work for about 6 months and when I got back to work, I realized that the work was unrewarding and that depression had stigmatized me.

    Today, 30 years later I can report on having a rewarding and fulfilling life. I have a very loving wife and two wonderful children. I enjoy my work very much, believe that I do a good job and am paid quite well. I am a fundamentally different person to the one I was 30 years ago and am proud of my achievements and ability to withstand adversity. Depression caused me to develop a value system that evolves around the notions of contribution and appreciation.

    It has not been easy. During these 30 years, I have had times of severe emotional, social and professional distress. I have had acute OCD symptoms that have been successfully treated with CBT. I have taken medication all these years. I drink too much. Each day I manage myself to ensure that my emotional situation is balanced and does not adversely impact my colleagues or loved ones. Because I have a genetic predisposition, my children are also predisposed -- that is a sad reality.

    When I was very sick, I felt anxious and neurotic and wondered whether I had a future. Your Doctor will tell you that he knows that you will recover and he is right. If you have any questions or want me to expand on anything, I can. If I can do it, you can too!

     

     

     

     

     

    3 people found this helpful
  2. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    5747 posts
    18 April 2016 in reply to goblues

    Dear Goblues

    Hello and welcome to Beyond Blue. I love your name, so apt.

    Your story is terrific and I hope many people will read it and be inspired and start to believe they will get well again. It's a long, hard journey but how wonderful to get there. We all know that depression can do a U turn but when you have the tools and experience to manage this, your life stays well.

    Perhaps you would can answer others who write in to this forum, many with stories similar to yours. It's great that you want to help and inspire others and I look forward to reading your posts in the future.

    Mary

    1 person found this helpful
  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    7004 posts
    18 April 2016 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Goblues,

    A great positive outcome.

    Can you tell me if you ever feel fragile? You appear confident like I am but I still constantly feel like my day will unravel and I'll fall down into a sad mess. In reality this doesn't occur very often.

    I'd be interested in your answer.

    Tony WK

    1 person found this helpful
  4. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    18 April 2016 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Mary:

    Thanks for your note. For full disclosure, my anonymous name stems from being a Carlton Football Club tragic. Carlton's modest on-field success has not been a great inspiration to me!

    Hopefully I can help others but I know that everyone's journey is unique. My only real point is that 30 years on I can tell you recovery is incredibly real and viable. Life is a wonderful thing.

    1 person found this helpful
  5. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    18 April 2016 in reply to white knight

    Hi Tony:

    Absolutely I feel confident that my mental illness is manageable. But it has taken me time to reach this level of confidence and for many years I was unsure whether I could and would be a loving partner, an effective colleague and a happy person. For a while I had exceedingly low confidence and self esteem and rebuilding has been slow, uneven and at times painful.

    What gives me enormous confidence now and when I was desperately ill is the infinite number of ways in which we can recover. My recovery is no miracle -- it has been about finding a path that works and being prepared for the setbacks. And of course the journey is ongoing, frustrating, discouraging, rewarding and interesting!

    2 people found this helpful
  6. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    20 April 2016 in reply to White Rose

    Hi Mary:

    Great that you're a community champion and thanks for the reply. There has been lack of response to my post and I wonder whether I have posted at right places and whether there is more I can do to get the message out. Thanks

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Chris B
    Community Manager
    • Works for beyondblue managing these forums. Not a mental health professional, but here to help. Email: christopher.banks@beyondblue.org.au
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Chris B avatar
    1552 posts
    20 April 2016

    Hi goblues, thanks so much for sharing your story.

    Please don't be disheartened by the small number of responses to your thread. The vast majority of people on our forums read but never post (we have around 70,000 unique visitors through here per month at the moment), so there will be many people getting hope from your story that you don't know about.

    What I can suggest for getting the message out further is to 'meet people where they are'. Sometimes when you're feeling really hopeless, even clicking into a thread about someone else's recovery might be too much for some. Have a read through the threads in these forums and offer your experiences and thoughts to those who are reaching out for support, you'll see from some of the responses on here that this can really make a difference to people.

    Hope this helps.

    2 people found this helpful
  8. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    5747 posts
    21 April 2016 in reply to goblues

    Hello Goblues

    Thanks for your replies. Your small number of replies is due, I suspect, to your very positive post. It takes a lot of energy to write in here at times, so I know I tend to put people who are not actually in trouble, down the list a little. As Chris has said, many people read these posts and get a lot of support and comfort that we rarely know. I know several people have joined BB after lurking around for a while, because they have said so in their first posts. It may be someone will decide to join the forum as a result of your story, but you will not necessarily know.

    It would be really great if you joined other conversations and spread the good work of your life to others. Sounds like I am urging you to become a missionary. Come to think of it, I am. You can tell people from your own experience that they can survive and live happy lives.

    Mary

  9. Myshelle
    Myshelle avatar
    14 posts
    21 April 2016 in reply to goblues

    Hi Goblues,

    At the moment I am too low to write much but appreciate your post.

    Thankyou

    Michelle

    1 person found this helpful
  10. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    21 April 2016 in reply to Myshelle

    Hi Michelle:

    Sorry to hear that you're so low. I remember a therapist telling me at one of my lowest points that I would make his therapy look good. Why? When you're so low only place to go is up.

    It is so hard for you, I feel for you, but better times are ahead.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    21 April 2016 in reply to White Rose
    Thanks Mary. Would welcome your ideas on how I can become a missionary.
  12. White Rose
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    White Rose avatar
    5747 posts
    21 April 2016 in reply to goblues

    It's easy. Browse the whole forum and read some posts. If you are interested in a particular topic, such as depression, click on the forum and look through the various threads posted there. Then reply to any you think your experience can help. Even if you have no experience of that particular problem, it's feels good to the person writing if you write some words of support.

    Take it from there. Have a great conversation or two or three with anyone.

    I name you Goblues Missionary, Second Class (soon to be first class).

    Mary

  13. albyquirky
    albyquirky avatar
    5 posts
    3 May 2016 in reply to goblues
    Thank you for sharing your story. It really sounds like you hit rock bottom when you were younger and it's so nice to hear that you were triumphant. I really liked reading your story because I am where you once were. I'm 25 years old and a hard working professional like yourself. I feel like my depression and anxiety is getting worse and I can't see a positive future. Thanks for giving me hope that I might recover and have better things to look forward to. :)
  14. goblues
    goblues avatar
    11 posts
    3 May 2016 in reply to albyquirky
    Thanks so much for reading about my story. When I say I hit rock bottom, what I mean is that at the time I believed that my situation was hopeless and devastatingly painful. I was right about the pain and wrong about the hope.
  15. jelly12
    jelly12 avatar
    9 posts
    14 August 2016

    Hi goblues,

    I really liked reading your post - thanks so much for sharing your story.

    I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder 21 years ago, after a psychotic episode and hospitalization. I have taken medication continually since then and have been able to work successfully.

    However, although I can function adequately, I still have depression. It is still there, every day.

    It is difficult for me to form relationships and maintain them - I always get "dumped" very quickly and as I find this very distressing, I now choose not to pursue relationships with men at all. I have a few good friends and I am thankful for that.

    I feel that I am working to manage the depression, but that recovery may not be possible for me.

    Thanks for reading.


  16. Gabby888
    Gabby888 avatar
    1 posts
    17 August 2016 in reply to jelly12

    Hi GoBlues,

    thank you for your post! i have also major depressive disorder for around 8 years and came out of it a couple of years ago, i thought that that would be the only time that something like that would happen to me in my life and given how much it broke me i knew i couldn't possibly do it again. 3 years on I'm finding myself slipping back into depression and i can't believe its happening to me again and now I'm thinking, is this what the rest of my life is going to be like? constant periods of depression followed by a few years of happiness- when i look at it like that i can't see the point of going through all that at all... when i look over my life i feel like I've have had more unhappy years than happy ones, that means half of my life has been spent being unhappy- is this worth it?

    I'm also scared that i will never be able to be happy with the things in my life, even though i have a lot of good things in my life at the moment, i feel like i will always be searching for more, as well as living in constant fear of slipping back into depression.

    has this been the case for you, have you had other long periods of recurring depression after the first incident, and how have you dealt with it?

  17. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    7004 posts
    18 August 2016 in reply to Gabby888

    Hi all,

    Goblues has a string, caring message. And as pointed out early in the thread, every situation us unique.

    Therefore remember, what the message is, is that maximum recovery for you is the goal . That might not mean full recovery as we know it.

    To aspire to goals is so important. One step at a time. It might mean simply spending 10 minutes in the sun on your verandah or making an entrée for dinner...or thanking your partner for their dedication.

    "Full recovery" for you might not be achievable in the literary sense....but maximum recovery for you the individual is and we are here for you throughout that journey. Be proud to reach your maximum.

    A good positive thread. We rarely read such stories of inspiration.

  18. Zonta
    Zonta avatar
    1 posts
    22 March 2019 in reply to goblues
    Hi there, I am being told that I may have this disorder, it has beeen three months from my psychosis and my communication and memory is really poor did you experience similar problems?

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