Well I can't say I'm a stranger to most of that. A few scattered thoughts-
I use two types of meds to get to sleep, and that has been worked out over many years, weak ones to enhance relaxation exercises and stronger ones only if that does not work. Now I'm not saying any of that is suitable for you, however it is certainly something to discuss in detail with your doctor. I'm not sure either that taking them on a long-term basis is recommended, so don't think of me as an example.
I've reached that happy stage where I'm not frightened to go to bed, or put it off because I 'knew I was not going to sleep'
In that discussion if you had an accurate sleep-log your doctor would have a non-subjective set of data to work with.
Technique: You would already know about the steps for sleep hygiene - if not sing out, they are pretty standard. If nightmare I get up, even if it was only a dozing one. It breaks the 'mood chain'. Nightmares are another thing to talk to your doctor about. Similarly if sleep does not come I get up - maybe have a warm drink, look outside. Once again breaking a mindset.
Sounds, none from elsewhere to disturb you of course, I'm trying to use an ambient sound (the sea or wind) but am having trouble keeping it to myself away from my partner, I'll get something worked out in time. If not all the time then when recovering from a nightmare - well that's the plan.
Frankly the not getting up until 1, I would not worry overmuch, try defeating that in easy stages. The sleeping from 3.30 to 8 I'd try to avoid - yes easy to say. I'm talking efforts to regulate your internal clock here.
Now, what your partner deserves - love, that's it. Hassles come with life, if it was not your problems I'm sure there would be something else. You give what you can - so does he.