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Topic: INFJs

  1. Graceeeeee
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    29 March 2017

    Hi,

    This is a thread for people with the INFJ personality type from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

    INFJs are the rarest type out of the 16 personality types from the MBTI. Many INFJs experience anxiety and/or depression due to not fitting in anywhere. INFJ stands for: Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, and Judgement.

    I found that I fit the descriptions of this personality type last year (I actually underwent a professional personality testing before that and got the INFJ result but paid no attention to it) when I was doing a research task for school. Ever since then I've been very grateful for finally finding a description that fits how I feel and who I am. Knowing about my personality type has helped me discover more about myself and feel more at ease with who I am.

    I've talked to INFJs online and found that a lot of us suffer from one form of mental illness or another. So this is a social space for INFJs needing a place to belong, to talk about things that are hard to talk about, or find out more about this amazing personality type.

    But! Notice I said this is a social space--If you are dealing with serious issues at the moment, you should consider seeking professional help, to begin with, you can look up information from the BeyondBlue website. Of course anyone is welcomed to join, but do not rely on this forum to recover from a serious mental illness.

    A social space can be anything from lighthearted and fun, to a deep and personal safe space for understanding and support. So when you click into this thread--first things first--remember to not be afraid of being yourself (as a lot of us tend to do)!

    Enjoy!!

    With Love,

    Grace xx

    6 people found this helpful
  2. blondguy
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    29 March 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hey Graceeeeee :-)

    Great to see you again! I hope you have been well. You have always been a breath of fresh air and still are

    I did my Briggs Myers Type Indicator Test and it was similar to yours..I must try it again!

    This is an interesting tool to have a look at ourselves that doesnt take very long at all.

    NB: If you are dealing with serious issues at the moment, you should
    consider seeking professional help, to begin with, you can look up
    information from the BeyondBlue website. Of course anyone is welcomed to
    join, but do not rely on this forum to recover from a serious mental
    illness.(Thanks Graceeeeee)

    www.myersbriggs.org

    Great thread Grace and even better to see you!

    kind thoughts

    Paul xo

  3. Graceeeeee
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    29 March 2017 in reply to blondguy

    Hi Paul,

    Thank you for saying hi, you're so kind! I've missed you. I contradict myself a lot because I miss people that I've had a connection with but for many reasons I'm always scared to reach out. So it's awesome when they think to talk to me!

    And yes I agree it's a wonderful tool to use, a lot of discovering myself has come through reading about INFJs and it really has changed my life. Great catching up with you!

    Have a great evening,

    Grace :-)

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Gruffudd
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    29 March 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee
    Sorry Grace, alas I am an IFNP. So close but so far away.
  5. Graceeeeee
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    30 March 2017 in reply to Gruffudd
    Hey, welcome! No worries, I can find common ground with any introvert personality types :)
  6. startingnew
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    5 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    hi there

    ive recently discovered that i am an INFJ :)

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Graceeeeee
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    5 April 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Hey startingnew,

    Thanks for saying hi :) How did you find out about this, has this changed you in anyway?

    I found out about two years ago and didn't pay attention until last year, it really helped me discover myself.

    Grace xx

  8. Guest_9809
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    5 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Welcome back Graceee. And I love your new profile picture ... what a beautiful photo.

    I am an ISFJ-T, so one letter different to yours. I havent done much research into it, so couldnt even start to tell you what our one different digit, ie the S, means.

    But I guess we must have a number of similarities in there somewhere with regards to personality traits.

    Taurus xx

  9. startingnew
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    5 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hi Grace

    i did it through the online personality test through uhh myer briggs i think it was. nope it hasnt changed who i am but it did explain a few things as why i do certain things and why i feel certain ways.

    i only found out the other day but it hasnt actually made me think any different.

    Hi Taurus ive got the t at the end too but its the same thing

  10. Graceeeeee
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    7 April 2017 in reply to Guest_9809

    Hey Taurus,

    Thank you so much :) Yes one letter different isn't that different. I think the N stands for intuition while the S stands for sensing. But we are both introverts alike. So thank you for saying hi. How are you, how was your week?

    Have a great weekend,

    Hugs from Grace xx

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Graceeeeee
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    7 April 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Hey startingnew,

    Thank you for sharing. When I started paying attention to INFJ traits I found that they explain me so well. Since then I've read articles about this type and I've joined groups on Facebook to find like-minded people. Finding out what their personality type is has a different effect on different people, for me the effect was huge. I feel like I am discovering slowly who I am, and yet it is still just a tip of the iceberg. This has been a very meaningful journey to me, which is why I started this thread.

    Have a good evening :)

    With Love,

    Grace xx

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Just Sara
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    8 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hi Grace;

    I'm an ENTJ which isn't really up your alley. But my interest as a peer supporter is relative.

    My psychologist did her thesis on the Briggs Mayer/Carl Jung testing theory. She's quite a barrel of info. Actually, we had nearly a whole session on her thesis which I happily agreed to. She felt my inquisitive mind would lap it up.

    This thread interests me from what you've written. I've changed over the yrs from INTJ to ENTJ. Introvert to extrovert. Life does this sometimes.

    Anyway, I'll be reading as the thread grows and may contribute here and there if that's ok.

    Best of luck...

    Sara

  13. Blue's Clues
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    8 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hi Grace,

    It's entirely possible we've spoken about personality types before - it's a fascination of mine, and I think I pointed you toward my thread about it here in the Social Zone once upon a time. I'm not an INFJ, I'm an INTP, but I'm not without some knowledge on your type.

    A dear friend of mine is an INFJ, a rare type indeed, and like you she has found the knowledge of what her type is to be a great boon in understanding herself. There was a time she thought she was an extrovert as she cares deeply about others, and couldn't understand why people contact exhausted her so much. In that way she has found a whole new understanding of herself and how to cope with human interaction. From what I've read, that's not an uncommon thing for an INFJ.

    Personally I have enjoyed learning about my type, it's explained a few things about how I process information and experiences, and how I do (or don't) relate to other types. Would love to hear how knowing your type has helped you in life and understanding yourself.

    Blue.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. startingnew
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    8 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hiya Grace

    This personality thing is still really new to me.

    How did you start to find yourself? Im quite lost really and dont know who i am anymore so id be interested to know Grace how you began your journey of discovery?

  15. Graceeeeee
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    8 April 2017 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sara,

    Of course you are welcomed to observe as you wish or join in anytime :) I'm glad this interests you. Your psychologist sounds interesting, she does sound knowledgeable indeed. It's also very interesting how your introverted tendencies shifted towards extroverted ones. I've actually read an article that talked about how therapy can sometimes slightly shift people's personalities, before then I've always believed that we are all born with our personalities that can't be changed. Got me to think again about who I am. Have you heard of the nature vs nurture debate? It's basically a debate where some scientists believe we are born to be who we are, whilst some believe our environment and upbringing are what shape us. Nowadays they tend to believe it's a mix of both, so do I.

    The Myer-Briggs' 16 personalities all fascinate me, because people always say that it describes them really well (at least better than the ones we've had before).

    So anyways, I'm really interested in this stuff as you can see, and again, this thread is open to everyone! Have a nice evening Sara :)

    With Love,

    Grace xx

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Graceeeeee
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    8 April 2017 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hey Blue,

    Thanks for popping by :) I actually can't recall you talking about your thread, I am very sorry, my brain does that sometimes. Although I am very interested in personalities, especially these 16 Myers-Briggs personalities.

    Yes your friend's situation sounds very common for INFJs. Same thing for me. I was quite shy but I liked interacting with people, so I was very confused as to whether I actually liked people or not. I liked to have deep connections but I found myself not wanting to be around people. Discovering about the INFJ personality has helped me tremendously. I now understand that these contradictions are part of my personality, this really helps me understand and accept myself, which is why I started the thread, so that people (not only INFJs but anyone who struggles with identity) can take notice of their personalities and discover more about themselves.

    How has learning about your personality type helped you? How did you find out about it? I love to discuss about this type of stuff. Have a great evening Blue.

    Hugs,

    Grace xx :)

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Graceeeeee
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    8 April 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Hey startingnew,

    I first started taking notice of my personality type last year around this time. I remember going a school project for Society and Culture (a subject I'm doing), we had to make something creative to explain who we are. I searched around for introvert comics, because at the time I already knew I was introverted, and came across this title 'the rarest personality type in the world', I was curious so I clicked the article to read. The article described some personality traits for this 'rarest type', and I was immediately very intrigued because all the descriptions fit me. It was like I finally found someone who completely understood me for the first time. Turns out the personality was INFJ, I then recalled that I had done a professional personality test for my school's career day, so I found my file and it confirmed that indeed I was an INFJ. So that's basically how it all came about.

    The website from which I found the article is called Introvert Spring, it's co-founded by two introverts, one of them INFJ. They post great articles about interesting facts and tips for introverts like us, they also have a forum where INFJs chat about daily life or deeper stuff, so if you're interested that's a website I would definitely recommend.

    Another thing that's helped me discover more recently is a Facebook group called INFJs are awesome, and to my knowledge there are a bunch of other groups for INFJs too. People like to share articles about this personality type and discuss daily life in these groups, so if you'd like to be a part of an INFJ community, a Facebook group is a great place to start.

    Besides these, I also read many articles about personality types, because I follow such pages on Facebook, I would also search on Google, but mainly I'm getting the information from Facebook because so many people are sharing so many things from a range of websites and resources, it's really great.

    Psychology is a topic that greatly interests me, subsequently, so do personality types. A discussion like this is something I really enjoy, something that motivated me to start a thread like this. If you feel lost don't worry, you got plenty of time to discover and understand, there's a great journey out there waiting for you. Have a good evening :)

    With Love,

    Grace xx

  18. Just Sara
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    9 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hey again Grace;

    Looking back at my post, I realised an error; I used to be an ENTJ, but have transitioned to an INTJ, not the other way round. Sorry...my bad!

    Nature vs Nurture...yes, I've had this discussion and agree there's validity on both sides. There are innate gifts and those discovered as life progresses. In my own case, I wouldn't say it was one or the other, only that some gifts I was born with, couldn't really be expressed openly growing up due to bad parenting and abuse.

    For instance, my intelligence has always been there, but self esteem issues and a lack of self awareness/motivation thwarted my development growing up.

    Then there's my survival instincts; I was born at 3 and 1/2 months preemi expected to die. This aspect of my personality has always made it possible for me to get thru difficulties; I've nearly died a few times. I now except my survival ability as an innate gift.

    Protective instincts (towards others) though were learned from childhood experiences and then drawn to jobs with society's vulnerable. Protecting myself is another story; that's where my survival instincts came into play.

    This is fascinating I absolutely agree. I thrive these days on learning; hindsight can be frustrating though. Am I a better person than I could've been? Hmm...that's the million dollar question yeah?

    Kudos for a great thread!

    Sara

  19. startingnew
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    9 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee
    HI Grace
    shoutout to Sara,
    Paul, Gruffudd and Taurus,

    I think I might look
    into these personalities abit more too and see if any of it matches
    my own personality, which obviously it would somewhere otherwise it
    wouldnt show these results now would it lol.
    I studied abit of
    society and culture through year 12 and it was a pretty good topic
    but no personalities aspects came around.
    Would you be able to
    link me some of the website that youve found useful on here so I can
    take a look?

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Graceeeeee
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    9 April 2017 in reply to Just Sara

    Hey Sara,

    Thanks very much for sharing :) What you said makes sense. There's a part of you that was born that way but your experiences have also greatly shaped you. Same with me. Born an introvert, didn't get much time with family as a child so that further isolated me. I don't like being around people all the time which is an introvert trait, but then I am also very guarded due to bad experiences from childhood.

    And yes, hindsight is annoying because you realise what you could've done but you can't go back and change it. But sometimes when I think about it I realise that some mistakes and regrets have shaped me greatly too. Some things I would've never done if I didn't have those regrets and mistakes. Sometimes they are overwhelming and not it's not every time that something good will come out of it all, but since we can't change them, I try to let them be. (Saying so though, it is really easy to keep thinking "what if I did that")

    Great discussions, talk to you soon?

    With Love,

    Grace xx

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Graceeeeee
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    9 April 2017 in reply to startingnew

    Hey startingnew,

    I would love to give you some links but due to BB policies, we aren't allowed to post links in the forums.

    The INFJ website I mentioned is called Introvert Spring, just google it and I'm sure it'll pop up, it's pretty popular.

    The INFJ group on Facebook is called INFJs are awesome, there's also another group for introverts called Louder Minds, both are closed groups but just request to join and they'll let you in, hope this helps :)

    Grace xx

  22. Blue's Clues
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    9 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hey Grace,

    Don't worry, it was ages ago we may have talked about personalities, in the Café. I hardly visit the Café these days as I just can't keep up, it's too busy in there. Anyway, I wouldn't expect you to remember.

    Like you, my friend thrives on deep connections. I think her exhaustion with dealing with people comes largely from meaningless interactions which, unfortunately, are rather more common. Of course being as you're in such a rare group I don't know too many INFJs, but I have greatly enjoyed the company of my friend and getting to know her personality. She is indeed a unique person. Very conflicted about herself, but always willing to learn and focused on finding and using the best in herself. I get a kick out of comparing our intuitive sides, as she is a feeler and I am a thinker - I analyse my way to a conclusion through careful observation and logic, whereas she understands people and their motivations but has no idea where the information came from, it's just her instinct. It's interesting.

    I first came across the Myers-Briggs types years ago, it was an amusement that came up for some reason at Mum's church back in the days when she was still dragging me along. It was interesting to me at the time, but I didn't make too much of it. Around two or three years ago I came back to it - don't remember why, I was goofing around online and decided to take a test. Nothing about my type had changed in all that time (close to twenty years). I wasn't surprised at all, I've always been highly inclined toward self-analysis and have thus had a pretty solid sense of identity. What was more interesting to me was the comparison with other types and the ways in which we process information, experiences, senses and emotions. For instance, how did my siblings and I come out so different, given basically the same upbringing? My brother is an INTP like me, my sister an INFP - only one letter different, but vastly different in the reality. We were all isolated in general and shunned at school, yet my brother and I have retained strong self-esteem and my sister's is shattered. The answer is in the personalities, and that is valuable. I now understand her better intellectually (as her perspective is alien to me on an emotional level), and can be of more help. In that way, what I am learning is brilliant.

    Blue.

  23. Graceeeeee
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    13 April 2017 in reply to Blue's Clues

    Hi Blue,

    Thanks for sharing :) I've learned a lot too from these personalty descriptions. Still amazes me how accurate the Myers-Briggs personality thing is for most people. And as for siblings who have different personalities--still goes back to the nature vs nurture debate. No body really knows what forms our fascinating personalities. Even twins, who have identical DNA and were brought up the same, can have different personalities.

    As for being an INFJ, I do agree that having meaningless conversations drains me. But the sad thing is I desperately need connection, I am always searching for someone to have that deep connection and meaningful conversations with, and to get to that point I have to chat with people to see if they can be my friends, this means an awful lot of small talk and I am so tired of it. I've stopped actively seeking for a best friend, I don't have best friends but only close ones, which is fine most of the time but when I get lonely I don't know who to talk to.

    Not easy being an INFJ (it's funny how I just describe myself using 4 letters these days), also not easy being an introvert in this noisy world in general. Have a nice evening, my thoughts are with you.

    With Love,

    Grace xx

  24. Blue's Clues
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    14 April 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hi Grace,

    I admit, I'm likewise impressed by the accuracy of the Myers-Briggs. Of course there will always be room for improvement on anything like that, but it's as comprehensive as anything existing gets. I guess the thing I appreciate about it is that there is such a wealth of information and extensive research that I can clarify anything about it with relative ease, and have found a lot on the subject that simplifies and puts in words things I had an innate understanding of about myself but wasn't quite sure how to explain to others. I was particularly interested in the comparison of INTP and INTJ on the Personality Hacker website, as my other half is an INTJ - we are very, very similar types (and both pretty rare), but on occasion there are things we expect to process in the same way but turn out not to. That comparison has given me a better understanding of why for instance he can deal with things like the idea of shmoozing to get a good job and I can't think of anything more abhorrent.

    As for siblings, I definitely subscribe to personality being a mix of nature vs nurture, though I err on the side of nature. A person's experiences will impact more on what aspects of a personality are developed. When it comes to twins, the idea of them being identical is a bit off. Same basic genetic pattern, yes, but even in the womb, different things will be happening. A hormone or chemical or nutrient may pass to one and not the other, for various reasons and there are differences in both physical and mental characteristics. One of my best friends has cystic fibrosis. Her "identical" twin sister doesn't. Pretty big variant for twins, so in light of that, different personalities don't seem unlikely at all.

    I think you'll find we all need meaningful connections, and that most of us have some difficulty finding them. Not to mention we all have different ways of going about it. I'm not one for small talk at all, I'll manage it for a minute or two then get bored and wander off, haha. It was my tendency to just say things how I saw them that kicked off my friendship with an INFJ. She liked that she didn't feel like she needed to play social games or put up any pretense. I, in turn, enjoyed the forthright openness she applied to our conversations once she felt she was in a safe space to do so. Observation and intuition were her tools for zeroing in on a new friend, and they worked well for her. Could be the same for you, and save you a lot of icky small talk.

    Blue.

  25. Raine49
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    16 May 2017

    Hi all,

    I am actually really new to BB, I think this is my 2nd post ever so I'm still discovering the ins and outs of the forums.
    I took the Myer-Briggs personality test quite some time ago, and came out as an INFJ-T. Reading the explanation about the type of person INFJ's are, it was crazy how accurate it was towards things I hadn't even though about before. Things that I hadn't realised that not everyone did.

    I also found it very surprising that I was a mix of my parents, they both took the test within the same day, I'm unsure what either of them ended up as, but I was basically a mix of both, with more similarities to my Dad, whom I've always clashed with and thought I had nothing in common with. Turns out it's the other way around.

    I've always found personality tests intriguing, but this one really hit the nail on the head.

    - Raine

    1 person found this helpful
  26. Fiasco
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    16 May 2017 in reply to Gruffudd
    I am an INFP too 😄
  27. Just Sara
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    16 May 2017 in reply to Raine49

    Hi and welcome Raine;

    I'm with you, this is an interesting topic. Grace hasn't been on this thread for a month, and I don't know if she's still around. I hope so.

    I contributed here a while ago, but haven't been back. Sometimes threads get lost among the daily growing list. By you posting, you've bumped this thread up the list so others can see it on the first page. It'll also be on your personal list of threads now too. That's generally how things work, I'm sure you'll get the gist in no time.

    Now, I mean no disrespect hun; could you please identify yourself as male or female? This is one aspect of communicating on here that sometimes causes embarrassing moments.

    One Community Champ used to write to me in non gender specific ways thinking I was 'probably' male, but in fact I wasn't. We did eventually clear that up, but his embarrassment was evident. That's why I changed my user name to Just Sara.

    People's user names and pic's can be very confusing when trying to interpret gender. I try to find words in their posts that might give clues. I'm so sorry to bring this up, but it's better I cringe a little than say the wrong thing.

    I hope this hasn't caused you any embarrassment as it's definitely not my intention.

    If you see me around the traps, be sure and pop in to say hello. I'd be more than happy to respond as will other really caring people who regularly contribute.

    Again; welcome to our forum community.

    Warm and kind thoughts;

    Sara

  28. Just Sara
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    16 May 2017 in reply to Graceeeeee

    Hi Grace;

    Sorry to hijack your thread hun. I've been chatting with a newbie; I hope you don't mind. I still think it's a great topic.

    Sara

  29. Raine49
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    17 May 2017 in reply to Just Sara

    Hi Sara,

    Nice to meet you, I'm definitely starting to get the hang of things on here.
    Definitely no embarrassment, I can see how it could get confusing.
    However, to clarify for you, I am female.

    ~ Raine

    2 people found this helpful
  30. Just Sara
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    20 May 2017 in reply to Raine49

    Yay!!

    Thankyou :) girlfriend! He he...

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