Hi Daniel
It can be so hard to relate to who we truly are at times. We can have 99 people tell us we're amazing, tell us how conscious we are, tell us how thoughtful we are, how incredible yet we don't believe it. Then that 100th person comes along who shows it all to us in a way where we can finally relate. It's like they hold a mirror up to us and, for the first time, we actually see clearly who we are.
That 100th person holds the ability to take away all that blurs our vision/perception. They can take away the self doubt, the self judgement, the pressure to conform, the false beliefs that say 'I'm not good enough' or 'There's so much wrong with me' or 'I'm not a real man or a real woman in the eyes of society'. They can take away all the illusions that have led us to see our self in a certain way, the wrong way. Once all that blurs our vision/perception is removed, we see a clear reflection of who we are. We can go from 'I am not the person you think I am' to 'Oh my god, I am that person'.
The illusion of you being 'not man enough', can be replaced by the truth found in that heartfelt experience you shared with your aunt, how your heart broke for her and how deeply you felt that. This reflects not that you aren't man enough but that you are an intensely loving person who does not wish heartbreak upon anyone. The greatest and strongest of men throughout history have loved deeply. The most arrogant of men have been undeniably insensitive. This is rarely a trait a woman looks for in a man, insensitivity.
You can speak to a variety of women who will tell you 'While I have been with the same man for years, he has never been sensitive enough to know who I truly am and what I truly need, in a way that makes my heart sing'. To seek a man with a great balance of both masculine and feminine nature is a quest for finding 'the ideal man'. I should add, to seek a woman with a great balance of feminine and masculine nature is a quest for finding 'the ideal woman'. The ideal woman is not all loving and timid and doting, she has facets of a warrior when times get tough. She is courageous and strong, among other things. The perfect man is not all 'Don't worry Sweetie, I'll protect you' or 'How 'bout a roll in the hay?!', he has facets that are deeply loving, incredibly gentle and undeniably soulful.
In my opinion, quite often it is not the perfect manly man we are after or the ideal lady like woman, it's the perfect balance of self which is incredibly attractive :)