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Forums / Depression / Someone help me...

Topic: Someone help me...

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Azza102
    Azza102 avatar
    1 posts
    25 June 2013

    Hi, I suppose that I will start from the start, I am 17 years old, when I started attending High school I have been bullied every day that I was at that school, anything from being called names that you would think  shouldn't take offence to, like Fish, (In reference to my abnormally large eye sockets) or  pizza,  (In reference to my severe acne) but to myself I personally took offence. and the bullying continued getting worse, and phyical, from year 8-10 I was repeatably beaten, I would constantly go home with cuts and bruises, and at a few stages I actually had an eye socket hairline fracture, and fractured ribs also resulting in lung infections. But when ever I took the problem to the school teachers or social worker, they assumed I was doing something to encourage it, but I wasn't, I was that kind of kid who sat at the back of the class playing games or doing work, I never started anything...

    After I finished my year 10 at the school, I left the school, and during the end of year holidays, I was beaten by my dad. the first time I was punched in the eye, resulting in a cut bellow my eye, a black eye, and a hairline fracture in my eye socket. I was in hospital for 2 days after, and after I was released I went back home. and in less than a months time, myself and my Dad got into another argument. resulting in my dad hitting myself again, punching me in the jaw this time dislocating it.  I then moved to Melbourne to live with friends, after 2 months my friends mum kicked me out, for no reason, just told me I wasn't welcome anymore... so I then argued with her and ended up fleeing or my life when my 'friend' threatened to kill me if I didn't leave. so I left, and went once again back to live with my parents. there was no confrontation after I had taken the measure of taking out a intervention order against my Dad and Mum. so that they couldn't hit me of my brothers. even after this it still wasn't working out so I moved again to live on the coast. and started going to Tafe to avoid the bullies associated with mainstream schools... and all was going reasonably well, until my friend past away, I had known him since primary school and he was a close friend and he was in a crash, his car hit by a semi truck. And myself being an SES volunteer, I was called out to the job, when I got there I saw his car, started thinking that he might not have been driving, because he shares a car with his girlfriend, still not good, but yea... I walked up to the car, saw him, and dropped the Jaws of life that I was holding and dropped to the ground crying, when the others got him out I went up to the paramedics that were at the scene, and was told he had passed... I was then sent home, that was 2 weeks ago, and I still haven't left my home, I even got my groceries delivered. I won't accept visitors and my phone has been turned off. I just don't know what to do.... please, help me...

  2. Dragon
    Dragon avatar
    6 posts
    26 June 2013

    Hi Azza, first up it is perfectly natural in what you are feeling right now, to lose a friend like that is devastating to say the least. As a counselor I wont give you advice but only point you in the right direction. A counselor that deals in Gestalt therapy is excellent for those dealing with past issues such as your family and the bullying, it allows you to express emotions that you have with held throughout those years. For the loss of your friend I would like you to concentrate on the good times that you had with him together and continue to think those thoughts when you have a negative emotion, like I don't want to go outside" - would youre friend want you to do this ?. This is only a starting point but I can follow up with you later if you require me to

    Cheers Rick (Dragon)

     

  3. The Real David Charles
    The Real David Charles avatar
    1014 posts
    26 June 2013 in reply to Azza102

    Dear Azza102,

    Bullying is one thing, major victimisation is another beast.  And family situations where you were "kicked out" too.    You must be thinking that bad luck follows you around like a bad smell.      I'm not sure how you are doing now but seeing a close friend die from a crash would have to be even worse.  What were you prepared for when you headed out that night as a SES volunteer ?   What were you expecting ?

    Sounds like you need a lot of space, lock down and  all.   I guess if you can eat and sleep with some sort of routine your mind will have a chance to regain it's composure.   But I'm thinking the sudden loss of a friend is very much like bullying.  One minute it's just one person and the next the whole school.    You really need to connect with someone, a voice, the neighbour, the newsagent, anything, just to crack open your mind from the darkness and empyness you are experiencing.   Is there anyway you can just use the phone to call lifeline 13 11 14 ?

    You can post all day and all night on beyond blue so please off load your thoughts and how you're doing.  There are several regular responders and I'm sure some sort of connection can be made.    I've only suffered mental health problems not bullying so I'm sorry that I can't totally relate.  But someone will.

    A visitor would be really annoying if they just came in and said something stupid like "There, there, these things happen".   You might need a professional counsellor to assess you - see if your GP can recommend someone to talk to.  Your life experiences are way too much to keep close to your cheast.    You might have to use the Jaws of life on yourself to extract you from that cocoon.

    Adios, David.

  4. S.A.D.
    S.A.D. avatar
    265 posts
    26 June 2013 in reply to Dragon
    Call the admin department of your SES office, and ask them to send the on-staff grief counsellor to your home. Set up a chair outside a window for him to sit on, so he doesn't have to come in and you don't have to go out. Don't expect him to sit in the rain. Talk to him about your friend, and let him read your post above.
    Get back to us when you can to let us know how it went, OK?

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