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Forums / Grief and loss / I can’t cope with the loss of my mum, mother and father in law during pandemic

Topic: I can’t cope with the loss of my mum, mother and father in law during pandemic

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. Missmoo2305
    Missmoo2305 avatar
    1 posts
    6 October 2020

    Hi everyone,

    I am new to this forum. I’m 42 years old and have had the worst year of my life. On January 15th my father in law was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, multiple organs. He died on March 15th. My mother in law had battled ovarian cancer which also spread to other organs for 2 years. She died in May 3rd. My beautiful mum had fought cancer for over a year and lost her battle 3 weeks after my mother in law on May 23rd. We lost 3 dear family members in 10 weeks. I didn’t see my mum on her last Mother’s Day because of Victoria’s lockdown rules. I can’t get that time back...I’m also an essential worker and have had to work through most of the pandemic. I don’t feel like I have been able to grieve properly and now my mums birthday is approach on 26th October. I haven’t even been able to go to her grave since she was buried on June 1st due to lockdown rules. I am getting really emotional again and feeling angry, frustrated and devastated. I’ve lost my best friend in my mum and my next dearest in my mother in law. It’s been impossible to deal with. I’ve lost mum. Hubby has lost both his parents. Nothing seems to make me feel happy anymore. We are just trying to get through each day and hopefully things will get easier with time.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6164 posts
    6 October 2020 in reply to Missmoo2305

    Welcome to the forums Missmoo2305, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage to do so. We are so sorry to hear how painful this year has been for you. We can hear how difficult all of this must be to deal with, but please know that you've come to a safe space and our wonderful community is here to offer as much support and advice as you need.

    It sounds like you're in a really tough space and we think it might really help to talk it out. We'd recommend getting in touch with our friends at Griefline on 1300 845 745. GriefLine provides counselling support services free of charge to individuals who are experiencing loss and grief. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way. 

    If you feel up to it, we'd also recommend reaching out to our Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service. This website is regularly updated with information, advice and strategies to help you manage your wellbeing and mental health during this time. You can also call our dedicated support line, staffed by mental health professionals, which is available 24/7 on 1800 512 348.

    We hope that you can find some comfort in the words of kindness and support that our community can offer. Please feel free to keep us updated here on how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.

  3. Egbert97
    Egbert97 avatar
    15 posts
    6 October 2020 in reply to Missmoo2305
    Hi Missmoo - I'm so sorry for your losses. I honestly can't comprehend what you're going through and feeling right now, and I'm not sure how to help. But I've read your post, I've seen your grief, and I hope you and your husband can pull through this together. We'll be able to leave this lockdown soon and hopefully never look back.

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