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Forums / Long term support over the journey / (Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

Topic: (Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed

  1. Guest_08B8CB20
    Guest_08B8CB20 avatar
    119 posts
    23 October 2016
    I feel after i was stabbed nearly 1year ago in the chest heart arterie severed , punctured left lung ,fractured rib rushed to icu injuries were life threatening,i am struggling to deal with life i live in constant fear especially around people i public i have no family support but do have friends but i feel a burden to them all, the flashbacks are out off control especially when sleeping,i dont no what to do i dont have the desire to do much in life anymore i seam to have lost interest in working hobbies even going for a surf i have 4weeks left at were im staying now and the time has come for me to ask for help as i put on a brave face but deep down im feel broken, what do you suggest would be something that could help me with dealing with this nighmare i deal with everynight i go to sleep
  2. Kazzl
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    23 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jacezz, welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry to hear of your traumatic experience, I can only begin to imagine how frightening that was and it's understandable that you're still suffering.

    I'm wondering if you are receiving any help from your doctor or a psychologist. I have no personal experience of post-traumatic stress, but from what I understand, sufferers can benefit most from professional help, especially talking therapy with a psych who really knows PTSD.

    Your doctor can put you on a mental health plan, under which you can have subsidised sessions with a psychologist. I strongly recommend it mate.

    Please don't feel you need to hide this - PTSD is far more common than you might think, and needs treatment as early as possible. It can consume you if you don't get some help.

    There are quite a lot of people on the forum who have been through traumatic events and no doubt they will have more advice and support, so please keep checking in.

    Very best to you Jacezz

    Kaz

    1 person found this helpful
  3. MarkJT
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    23 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jacezz, yes you have PTSD. The good news is that you can, with the appropriate treatment, get back to normal life.

    I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in Feb 2013 from an incident i attended as a copper in 2003. Now i will say straight off that my demons were caused by visual not physical like you. I cannot begin to fathom what it would be like for you after what you have been through physically but mentally, I can give you some hints as to how i got my life back. I was hospitalised and off work for nearly two months. Two and a half years later, after steadily increasing my hours, I returned to full time work.

    I used to suffer horrendous nightmares and flashbacks. How i countered these was undertaking a course of exposure therapy. This is a very difficult process to go through but one that i would not hesitate in going through again. You are basically deliberately triggering the bejesus out of yourself time and time again in the presence of a psych who is monitoring. The theory is that the more you confront it, the less power the images (for me) and event (for you) has. It works on around 30-40% of people, luckily for me, i was in the 30%. I flashback all the time still but as the images have no power, it doesn't cause me stress. The key to this is to have a really good relationship with your psych.

    A mate of mine is undergoing EMDR but is doing it slowly as each time he has a session, he vomits the flashbacks are that powerful. I didn't do this but it is well recommended for PTSD sufferers.

    You need to discuss these two with your psych.

    Have you got any limitations from the physical injuries? Exercise was enormous in my recovery. I ran and ran and ran, not quite Forrest Gump style but did run heaps. It allowed me to escape. To be by myself and think things through. To set myself goals of just getting through the day. If not running, walking, hiking, swimming, sports, riding. Anything to get the body moving. Body movement is crucial to good health.

    Mindfulness, if you don't know about it, research it and do it. Download an app to your phone. I use Smiling Mind every morning and it calms me down & sets me up for the day ahead. It is crucial to my continuing recovery and overall health.

    What you are experiencing is pretty much "normal" for PTSD, you are not alone in your journey. If you are not seeing a psych, you need to. Brilliant that you have reached out, well done. Look forward to hearing from you again soon.

    Take care

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  4. Guest_08B8CB20
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    26 October 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi MarkJT's Thanks for taking the time to explain yourself i have been doing things pretty much on my own as i have lost faith in the system the guy who stabbed me was out on bail before i was out off icu i was stabbed at a place were i was receiving help for something that happened to me when i was only a child 7/8 years old i was staying in a hostle receiving counseling for ptsd then in a place i thought i was safei was stabbed buy someone else who obviously was not well himself he has pleaded guilty AOGBH and is up for sentencing next month as a result they had to evict me i was discharge from hospital from state major trauma unit with no were to go so as you could maybe understand i have lost all faith a now struggle with trusting people in general im not really sure what my next step is but was thinking off selling my car and being alone the flash back are more vivid than when it happened i do suffer from tighten in my chest and my right for finger is painful to move but i can deal with that its the constant nightmares that really disturb me especially if its the way i wake up and start my day its like i have to get up constantly stay awake for 20 mins otherwise im straight back into being stabbed i my lake off faith in the system just everything i feel i just want to be alone and no longer be a burdon and keep talking about what im going throuhg dose that make any sence
  5. Guest_08B8CB20
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    26 October 2016 in reply to Kazzl
    Hi Kazzi i just sent a reply im not sure how to send it on to you but thank you so much for caring im going to see if i can forward it on to you kind regards Jason
  6. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    26 October 2016
    1. Your quote goes here
      MarkJT's
  7. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    26 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20
    Jacezz said:
    1. Your quote goes here
      MarkJT's

    Hi Kazzl please check my reply sent to MarkJT's hope you receive it kind regards Jacezz

  8. geoff
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    27 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20
    hello Jacezz, such a terrible assault for you and then struggling with PTSD memories is such an awful experience.
    Just briefly I was assaulted from behind by a couple of bikies where my head hit the concrete and developed a blood clot on the brain plus it formed epilepsy, and even now after 33 years whenever I see a group of bikies I have to go anywhere as long as it's far away, because the damage all of this caused me has been horrific, but now I have been back on my feet for a long time, but that doesn't mean that I am cured, I wish that I could be the same as Mark on this issue, but everyone is different.
    What I can suggest is for you to realise that any person walking down the street is not going to stab you, because that's what you are worried about, so to walk where people are would be a good way for you to fight this feeling and hopefully overcome this PTSD, but not only do this you will need support from a psychologist who can hel along the way. Geoff.
  9. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    27 October 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Hi Kazzl hope your well and i do appreciate your input you no i struggle alot with trusting people i will run you through what and were it happened first off all i was in a religious mens hostle and receiving counseling for ptsd anxiety etc for something that happened to me when i was a child age 7/8 as a result my family has made ever excuse you could think of and i have been shunned away and have no contact, i wish i never brought it up the trouble it has caused, i think i had received 4 counseling sessions on that issue, when someone who obviously had his own issues nearly killed me he was out on bail before i was out off icu there is one off my trust issues because i have no family support i believe i get treated differently to others,after5/6 days i was sent on my way i walked back to hostle with no were to go i went back to hostel packed my car with all these staples and injuries and high on pain medication , it was policy because he was on bail that they evicted me so they say i have lost my faith in god ,hospitals and people in general im trying now to see a psychologist but its not that simple i was on a health care plan and had 1 treatment with a counselor through my gp but it took over 1 half hour return trip so i stopped i asked him early this week if i could continue to see him but told me now he is private so this is now why i trying to go through the government system to see a psychologist but I am still very reluctant as i do have major trust issues with them don't no what to do but i do no i have to find a place to stay shortly was thinking to sell my car and buy a campervan and just surf meditate and be alone as i feel it is draining on my friends i dont enjoy feeling like a burden to the people around me it seems controling every aspect of my thanks for hearing me out its prob better i dont keep on of loading my problems onto my few good friends after all everyone has there own issues thanks once again Karrl best wishes always Jason

  10. Guest_08B8CB20
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    119 posts
    27 October 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi Mark i have taken some of your advice and have pushed myself to get up early and do something i used to do alot of and that is getting back in the ocean for a surf i also have made opointment to see psychologist but im still very reluctant given the opinion i have and trust issues ,thanks for advice once again, Jason
  11. Kazzl
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    27 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jason, thanks for replying to me. How are you today mate? You've really been through some hard stuff eh?

    It's difficult to open up to people if you feel you can't trust them, but I wonder if you could have another think about why you might not trust a psychologist - whether maybe you're just putting them in the same category as other people who have let you down? They're there to help, and your situation would not be new to them. They can't hurt you mate. Worth another try I reckon.

    I also think you are probably not a burden on your friends - people often care more than we realise. Try not to distance yourself from them Jason because you're afraid of being a burden - hold on to them, friends can be precious at times like this. You would be there for them if the situation was reversed wouldn't you?

    You've got a hard road to travel Jason, but you've had the courage to reach out for support here and with your friends, and there's more help out there if you can trust the professionals and the people who care. Things can improve for you. Take care mate, and I hope you'll keep talking to us.

    Very best to you

    Kaz

    1 person found this helpful
  12. Guest_08B8CB20
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    27 October 2016 in reply to Kazzl
    Hi Kaz , im going to give it a go with professional help im just had some not to pleasant in the past im waiting for them to get back to me my doctor put all information and referred me to community mental health so im on the waiting list im not the only person with ptsd and other issues so i guess im in the que and will have to wait my turn, im still reluctant but will just have to get over that and get the help i need otherwise im just existing and this is not how i want to live my life any longer i did however force myself to get up 630 this morning and go for a surf im going to try and keep that up its a good feeling being in the ocean all your thoughts seem to disappear whilst your out there i look forward to buying a campervan and waking up to that every morning thanks Kaz for communicating with me bye for now
  13. Guest_08B8CB20
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    29 October 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Hi Kazz hope your well i was wondering if you received my last post regards jason

  14. MarkJT
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    30 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jason, outstanding that you have been getting up and going for a surf. That is brilliant!! Getting back to the things we used to enjoy definitely helps us get on with our lives.

    Also fantastic that you are in the process of engaging with a psych again. So much positivity coming out of you here. Keep it going. One day at a time. You can do this.

    Mark.

  15. Kazzl
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    30 October 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hiya Jason, good to see you mate. Hey I'm impressed with the early morning surf. Like Mark said, doing things we enjoy can help us get back on track. What was it like and how did you feel afterwards?

    I sense a determination in you Jason. You are trying hard. Even though you've had some poor experiences with professionals, you're willing to try again because you really want to get better and get your life back. With that kind of attitude I reckon you'll get there my friend.

    How are you feeling today?

    Cheers

    Kaz

  16. Guest_08B8CB20
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    2 November 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi Mark well my friend I have to tell you that it's not that simple here in WA i just keep on hitting the wall i am trying my hardest to get help and there just is no one here who seams to be able to offer any unless your well off im done with this system im here in the waiting room as i write this it has come to the stage i really do not no anymore why i was put on this earth iwish i never woke up from ICU and i dont have the guts to end it myself today i been to center link trying to get DSP then district court to see victims support now the doctors, I spent the last 10 months living in a shed in an industrial area and now i have week left at a friend's place i cant afford accommodation on centerlink i will have to wait 10 to 12 month before I receive a cent from criminal compensation how i ask are you supposed to get better when i cant stay in mens hostle cause thats were i nearly died from some lunatic i am terrified off being around people i just want to be alone i really dont like this world we live in today i still cant believe the guy was given bail before i was out off ICU lost all trust in the system
  17. MarkJT
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    10 November 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jacezz, I apologise for taken so long to get back to you.

    Can see by your last post that there is a great deal of frustration built up and can i say, it is fully justified.

    You were put on this earth to live a life and although your life at the moment in your eyes, is not the greatest it could be, i so want you to keep going. You mentioned that you had got back into the ocean for a surf. Make this your anchor point. Mine was running - whenever I felt crap, which was often i would go for a run. Out by myself and loved it and still do.

    Get out into the waves, listen to the ocean, feel the water, i mean really feel it - use it as mindfulness. Whilst all the other stuff is going on and you are working on your trust issues and lack of resources for you, you can use the ocean as the place where you can go and no one can disturb you. Just you, your board and the waves.

    Please keep on engaging with us on here, again i apologise for not getting back sooner.

    Cheers

    Mark.

  18. Ballsy
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    15 November 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jacezz,

    I worked in in a pub while studying at uni to become a police officer. One night, two men walked in wearing balaclavas and one man had a shot gun and the other had scissors. i was not trained to deal with the incident and did as the robbers asked. I had the shotgun pointed at me and the man with scissors came around behind the bar with the scissors held at my stomach. They demanded for money from the main gaming safe (mind you, there was no time delay sticker displayed- company non-compliance) and I had to explain that I could not get into it as it was on a time delay. This made the guys pretty angry and the screaming and swearing at me got worse. I distracted them by taking cash from the gaming till and gave them all I could. All this lasted a matter of 3 minutes and I have never been the same since. It hurt me most knowing that the manager on duty seen the robbers and what was going on and he went and hid .. coming out from where he was after the robbers left pretending he had no idea what had just happened. I have been through many counsellors, I have been unable to continue my studies in the police force (due to my severe PTSD) and I can never see myself being able to work with the public ever again. I tried to stay off medication but it got that bad for me, I've finally been prescribed and my thoughts have settled a whole lot better. The problem is now I cannot trust anybody, I distance myself from people and I am so so insecure, I simply can't connect with people anymore. Victim services paid me next to nothing for my phsycological injury and a terrible IME doctor classed me as only 13% whole person impairment which will not allow me to sue the hotel I worked at for negligence and non compliance. I had to be 15% impaired. Just 2% more. I am definitely a lot more than that.

    I was was not physically harmed like you were. I am so sorry you had to deal with such violence. I can totally understand though how you feel and how hard it is to keep fighting. It seems impossible when you can't trust another. You feel trapped and alone and feel there is no purpose in this life. Can I ask you, are you on medication?

  19. MarkJT
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    16 November 2016 in reply to Ballsy

    Ballsy, welcome to the forums and for telling your story. It takes great courage to type what you did and you are in a very supportive and protective environment.

    That is one very nasty experience that you have gone through. Like you I was resistant to medication as I wanted to see how far i could take my recovery before going to them. I lasted nearly two years before i plateaued so made the decision to get on them and they have helped greatly.

    Your 13% is not surprising to me. A friend of mine (ex police officer) was judged at 28% when we (coppers) need 30% to sue. He is well over that so you are not the lone ranger there....unfortunately.

    Are you getting on going clinical treatment from a psych?

    Do you practice mindfulness at all?

    Keep posting mate, really want to hear how you are going.

    I was diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety in 2013 so i have a special interest in PTSD.

    Jacezz, how are you traveling of late?

    Regards

    Mark.

  20. Guest_08B8CB20
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    26 November 2016 in reply to Kazzl
    Hi Kazz i have just manage to reset my password its late now so i will touch base with you all over the next few days as i was really enjoying talking to you all and taking on board your advise thanks for your support regards Jason
  21. MarkJT
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    26 November 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, sorry been off line for a week. Just wondering how the surfing is going? Surfing is a genuine therapy for PTSD. I am involved with the RSL here in Victoria and one of the branches has started surfing for the returning veterans and is having some great results.

    Cheers

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Guest_08B8CB20
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    27 November 2016 in reply to MarkJT

    Hi Mark surfing be great if there was surf here in perth really frustrating at times but have to say going for a swim does for a short period give me some piece off mind medical system definitely does not im still waiting for some help i just wonder how long i can except the poor performance i am receiving in starting to think of other options and that will only be possible if the government gives me a break and i can receive DSP so as i can go for there month to another part off the world were i can afford to do it privately i must say i do have a incredibly supportive friend and i do believe at this point of were im at if it was not for him i would rather be in jail to meet with my friend who very nearly took my life and received a 3 year sentance when i feel im the one who is doing the time he will want to prey to god that when he is released im not still sleeping and reliving the stabbing every time i still cant get my head around the fact that he was given a plea bargain after he had already plead guilty and made full admission to the higher charge which included premeditation its no how the system works the judge read out my medical report which included me having 1 lt off blood drained from my left lung nevermind the blood that was squrting out between my fingers whist i waited 25 minutes for the ambulance to arrive he was out on bail before i was out of icu

  23. Guest_08B8CB20
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    28 November 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi Mark you no im happy that you have been able to return to your duties and that you have taken time out of your family time to advise and help people like myself its highly regarded and you should be proud of yourself , can you tell me have you ever heard off such a situation were someone makes full admission then gets a plea bargan no one in this state including victims of crime have never heard anything like it so its a first and the police used the excuse that they could not find me to let me no i was living in fear and no one that i stayed with wanted me to give there address understandably, by the way i was pulled over 3/4 times random breath test and one drug swab test and on all occasions was held up for at least half an hour whilst they ran checks on me then asked how was i doing . For someone they were so desperately trying to find to let me no about a down grade in charges for which he had already pleaded guilty to the original ones including premeditation. does seam somewhat untoward and how they managed to keep all off this from victoms of crime of which i was in regular contact with has now somewhat made me very anti police it has really seaed the desl for me and added even more anxity to my life im so not happy and would never ever ask them for any help in the future im talking about wa police here they are no good this is proof sorry to put you on the spot you dont have to reply i understand best wishes regards jason
  24. MarkJT
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    28 November 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jase, first off, I hope the surf picks up for ya!!

    The judicial system is flawed that is for sure. I don't know how it works in WA but i know for sure that once matters get to the higher courts (County and Supreme in Victoria as opposed to the Magistrates), Government solicitors take over the case and prosecute it. Essentially the coppers get very little say in how things are presented from there on in. I would imagine it is the same way around the country where courts will take early pleas and when someone does that, they are given a discount on their sentence because they are apparently showing remorse by acknowledging what they did. In some cases i can accept a lesser sentence but when it comes to offences against the person, as in your case, there is no discount...IMHO. It is quite often the case that certain charges will be dropped when offenders plead guilty to other charges, that is the system and then there is cumulative and concurrent sentencing. Cumulative = when someone pleads guilty or is found guilty of burglary and theft, get 6 mths imprisonment on each charge, they serve 12 mths however with concurrent, you can plead guilty to a swag of charges and get 6 months on each charge but because you can serve them concurrently, all you serve is 6 mths which IMHO is wrong. I like the US style sentencing. I remember the last time i was over there one bloke got 1100 years imprisonment!

    You have every reason to be disillusioned with the judicial system as the bloke who almost killed you will be out of prison and you have to live with the incident for the rest of your life. I will not patronise you and say things to help you get over this hurdle as I have never walked in your shoes, I am just hoping that somehow, something we say in here will allow you to smile and get on with your life. I will just continue to give suggestions, things that helped me and that have helped others. If i was religious id be praying that something works.

    Is it helping by engaging with us in here? Does it help to tell your story to us? Is it validating at all?

    As you have pointed out above how i have got my life back, I fully realise how lucky i am to be where i am at. I owe it to the people that didn't or haven't got my luck to do whatever i can to help them out. Hoping i can do that for you.

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Guest_08B8CB20
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    28 November 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi Mark and thankyou once again for taking the time to explain yourself and the way things arein todays world, the answer to you question is yes it is of great help being able to communicate with you i seam to be talking less to my friend's which i think is wise as it seams to bring others down so guess i owe you a beer for that mate im still trying to get professional help so i have not given up yet although have to say i will not be waisting anymore tax payers money asking the same question to my doctor i feel like im involved in some type off game and its not good for me to keep jumping the hurdles i have patience but there is not much left in me i can feel at time like a granade with the pin out i think i have been 4 times to mental health and more than18 times to my gp in the last year im waiting again to hear from someone i will have to just wait and see cause im not going back to my gp , thanks Mark regards Jason
  26. Guest_08B8CB20
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    29 November 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi mark could you tell me imho means please sorry to keep on about this but i just need to be sure about what it stands for thank bud
  27. Guest_08B8CB20
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    6 December 2016 in reply to MarkJT
    Hi Mark how are you traveling have not heard from you in a while are you ok?
  28. Guest_08B8CB20
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    6 December 2016 in reply to Kazzl

    Hi Kazzl

    Hope you are well sorry havenot been in touch lately i have had a lot going on and to be honest i have given up on getting help here in this country in making plans to go over seas to get help and find piece and start a new life i have no plans off return either i have found myself a new friend and she makes me happy and laugh i just cant keep going on like this so i suppose it is ment to be and it feels right

    Take care best wishes

    Regards jason

  29. MarkJT
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    6 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Jacezz, IMHO = in my humble opinion.

    Excellent that you are getting something out of engaging with us in here. A super protective and supportive environment that is for sure.

    I have been well thanks but took some time out as a mate of mine had a significant mental health event so was very tiring assisting there so something had to give to make sure that I don't go back downhill. It's a fine line!

    Have you got mates that you think are not being dragged down by you? I say "think" because a lot of the time, they are not being dragged down, that is just our perception when our brains are going haywire. It would be healthy for you to continue to engage with other people than us.Not in the very slightest am i saying don't engage with us though. We are here to help any way we can.

    How have the waves been?

    FYI - I am off overseas next week so will be posting less but will be keeping an eye on things so when the chance arises i will get a few posts in.

    Cheers mate

    Mark.

  30. FrankA
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    6 December 2016 in reply to Guest_08B8CB20

    Hi Jacezz, I have read your thread and up until now, I have considered posting but held back. I can relate to a lot of what you are going through; trust, injury etc. However, your travel announcement had the most impact.

    I fleed a DV relationship and moved to the UK. I would like to offer a few word to you to keep in the back of you mind. I believe travel is the best way to grow emotionally. Every trip I have made has expanded my view of the world. It brings insight, understanding and compassion. With this said, I know that if things don't work out, I could always come home. I hope you are able to adopt a similar philosophy.

    Secondly, as Crowded House said 'everywhere you go, always take the weather with you'. Acknowledging this may help you. In my experience the location changes, the people change and you change, but our experiences don't. That said, I am certain that with all of the changes that are in front of you, you may start to live in harmony with you experiences, learn and grow as a result of them.

    Honestly, I send you all the best wishes for your travels. I am envious as I would love to be planning an expedition ATM. Safe travel and if you ever feel lost, check in here. Franka.

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