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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

Topic: Feeling down due to fatigue & undiagnosed health issues

  1. blondguy
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    22 September 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    I didnt mean you specifically. just thinking out loud if thats okay!. I have learned after having chronic anxiety since 1983...that meds are crucial as healing platform ...If anyone's

    * anxiety issues prevents them from functioning on day to day basis

    * anxiety attacks are debilitating or hyperventilation is or has been present

    * night sweats...nightmares...ongoing difficulty in having a decent nights sleep

    * difficulty being in traffic..loss of confidence....digestive issues etc etc

    * overthinking and /or catastrophizing about something that hasnt happened yet

    These are only some symptoms of chronic anxiety for anyone Elizabeth. If these symptoms are allowed to persist over a period of time without the appropriate treatment they can lead to more serious issues

    Like yourself....I am waiting for stage 4 to be lifted too! Its becoming a serious pain in the rump..ugh!

    my kindest always

    Paul

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  2. mocha delight
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    23 September 2020
    Hi Elizabeth CP how are you doing today?
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  3. Elizabeth CP
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    24 September 2020 in reply to mocha delight

    I'm OK but struggling with bad headache which I suspect is linked to stress. It has been persistent for ages.

    I agree Paul that proper treatment is crucial. While meds are often needed & effective for many people they are only one part of the treatment. Discussing with a trained health professional what you're are going through is essential to work out the most effective strategies to manage your anxiety.

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  4. blondguy
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    24 September 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth

    I mentioned in my post above that 'meds are crucial as healing platform'...a platform is only a part of the healing process. Working with a trained health professional is the norm yet some people with acute anxiety require meds for the therapy to be effective

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  5. Elizabeth CP
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    24 September 2020 in reply to blondguy
    Sorry if I gave the impression I was disagreeing with you. I made my comment re the need to work with health professionals to find the most appropriate strategies for the benefit for others who may think meds are the only thing required rather than one part of treatment.
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  6. demonblaster
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    27 September 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

    Elizabeth I apologise hun I said and meant ages back that I wanted to support you and haven't but finally have made it back ☺

    I enjoy reading what you say on the forums.

    Don't know if this could help with your headache I'm having some success with chronic migraine/headaches with a flatter pillow. Mines from the neck not from tension though.

    I was going to say I hope you're doing ok I've only read a few back but probs not great if you have a tension headache poor thing. They pull you down don't they.

    Catch you later darl. Take good care. Hope the headache choofs.

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  7. blondguy
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    28 September 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hey Elizabeth (wave to DeeBee)

    No worries at all...I understand where you were coming from...Its all good! You actually posted what I did. Hope you are doing as well as possible...2020 is a 'strange' year. Thats as polite as I can phrase it

    Paul

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  8. Elizabeth CP
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    8 October 2020 in reply to blondguy

    Sorry I've been slow to reply & thank you Paul & DB for your encouraging posts.

    I'm still up & down. I was really bad on the weekend due to the hot windy weather. I am worried how I'm going to cope in the summer. I didn't sleep much last night getting up at 4am after giving up trying to get back to sleep.

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  9. mocha delight
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    8 October 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP
    Hi Elizabeth well I had a slight win I guess you could call it as during my last appointment with the psychologist she said to me that she agrees with my gp that I have depression so a slight confirmation but I’m not sure what type yet.
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  10. Elizabeth CP
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    17 October 2020 in reply to mocha delight

    Sorry I haven't replied for a while. I hope you are doing OK Mocha

    I am getting a consistent message from all my health professionals including psych & GP. My depression & anxiety is far worse than it normally is so I need to be doing everything possible to manage it. I can't afford to get worse because I need to look after my husband regardless how bad I am!!! I need to do breathing exercises several times every day to reduce the stress levels & learn to do it better so I can use them when really bad. I have been taught a couple of different techniques so I'm trying them all to see what helps the most. Have a long way to go. Today I haven't done well. I'm supposed to go out every day for a walk late in the day to try & help sleep patterns. Need to be more consistent.

    I am supposed to take 2-3 periods of respite a week. This is challanging because I struggle with guilt feelings & concern in case the police stop me & query while I'm outside 5 km from home. I do have letters from my psych to say I need to see my daughter for support. It is hard on my own as I struggle with negative thoughts wheras being with someone else distracts me from these thoughts.

    Yesterday I went to a lake just outside my 5km limit. I did a short walk along the lake & found a spot on the end of a concrete path sticking out in the lake. I sat on a rock & practised some breathing a grounding techniques. Being away from everyone & I sat with my back to the sun overlooking the lake so I felt safe from sunburn & no chance of transmitting corona virus being away from everyone. The weather was perfect so it really helped.

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  11. Elizabeth CP
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    24 October 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    I am feeling stressed & a bit resentful. This coming week is very busy with various appointments. I've been told by my psych that I have to do a number of things to help me because I have become quite unwell. Without following my psych's advice I'm going to end up in trouble- unable to care for my husband. I am trying to do my best although it is difficult fitting in with my husband's needs & just feeling tired all the time. That is the back ground

    My Son has part time work near us. He lives in regional Vic so needs to stat with us while he is working & then returns to his home the rest of the week. I'm fine with that. He has a history of MH issues & the work is helpful. The problem I'm now expected to care for his daughter while he works because his wife is volunteering at an op shop & his MIL is going on holiday. How am I supposed to babysit while helping my husband with speech therapy appointments & having psych appointments myself. We are in lockdown so not supposed to have people visiting. How do I explain to support workers why we have extra people in the house. How do I get the chance I need to do all the things I'm supposed to do to help my mental health when I have a 5 yr old full time for 3 days. I feel resentful that my DIL just expects me to help her without any consideration of my needs particularky when we can't even go to the shops Except for food or do any of the things they can do.

  12. Elizabeth CP
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    21 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP
    I have started face to face sessions again for exposure therapy. It was stopped during lockdown so I feel like I'm starting again. Unfortunately summer with hot weather & the resultant triggers is upon us. I'd hoped when I started therapy a year ago {'d be in a much better place instead of still very easily triggered and struggling because of the temptation to avoid anything potentially triggering. We went away this week for a few days. Lovely place. We did some lovely walks & I should have been just enjoying myself. Instead I felt very tense most of the time as I was having to try so hard to follow the recommendations of my therapist rather than avoiding things. My therapist is focusing on those things I've identified as problems which are negatively impacting my life. It wasn't him setting goals & tasks based on his ideas rather than my needs. To make it worse I drove to a bridge I'd heard of and looked lovely. It was! but the road passed through forest burnt in last summers fires. This was extremely difficult for me. I couldn't turn around safely so was forced to continue but by the time I arrived I was in a very bad state. I enjoyed exploring the bridge itself because I could just focus on the immediate area but driving back was still very difficult even though I know logically I was safe.
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  13. Ggrand
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    22 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hello Dear Elizabeth,

    Im so pleased for you that you have once again been able to have face to face with your therapist and beginning exposure therapy again...I find myself personally that exposure therapy is very hard to carry out...I am doing it with my mh supporter each time we go on appointments...A few times I have had to ask her if she can please just take me home...as my anxiety gets to high at times...small steps at a time Elizabeth...

    Driving through the burnt out areas from last years bush fires must have been incredible hard for you to do....you did it lovely lady on your own...yes accidentally I know, but you did it....and you came out the other end into unburnt areas...That would have been a huge piece of exposure therapy. ..I am so proud of you Elizabeth...you done well even though you were in a bad state...

    I’m pleased you enjoyed the bridge, and it enabled you to ground yourself a little...

    Sending you my kindest and most caring thoughts Dear Elizabeth....

    Grandy..

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  14. demonblaster
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    22 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth and everyone 👋

    Sounds like you've had a fair few goings on darl.

    Exposure therapy is very hard although I can see the point of it doesn't make it easier does it. Good on you I hope you manage ok and you always have here as you know.

    What a shame you were tense throughout your trip. I'm glad you enjoyed the bridge though. You achieved very good mindfulness. Redirecting your mind and thoughts to the bridge isn't at all easy in the midst of anxiety. I think a good pat on the backs due dear lady ☺

    I imagine through out the trip you may not have consciously been aware of taking in the beauty of where you were. I'm hoping for you that when you feel more relaxed your mind might allow nice memories of the trip.

    I'm sorry hearing going through where there was fires was so hard for you. Another win to you by the sounds is that you continued and held it together enough to do so. Well done again.

    Wishing you well Elizabeth. Always enjoy reading your posts to people.

    See you later ⚘

  15. Elizabeth CP
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    24 November 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    Thanks Grandy & DB, Sorry I haven't answered sooner, hurt my back yesterday and have been really busy but need to rest to recover so I can't answer you properly.Sory my thoughts are all lver the place.
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  16. demonblaster
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    24 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth that's quite ok just look after your poor back. Very painful they are you poor lady.

    Heat packs can be helpful to relax the muscles.

    So much empathy I really hope it comes good. Take it easy darl

  17. quirkywords
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    25 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Elizabeth

    How is your back, I hope it is improving. I cna relate to being lal over the place.

    You are trying so hard but have so much to deal with.

    I often read your posts but don't post. However I think about you and hope things improve even in a little way.

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  18. Elizabeth CP
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    25 November 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    Thanks Quirky & DB, I'm still needing to really watch my back Sitting is difficult as it makes it worse and I need meds to be able to sleep but still wake a bit as it is hard to turn over without hurting. My daughter gave me a treatment so it is better than it was.

    Had a session with exposure therapist today. I I am trying to get my head around what I need to doand how to fit it in with everything else I need to do.

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  19. demonblaster
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    27 November 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

    I'm so glad hearing you got even a little eelief from the treatment your D gave you. Back pain is terrible. I have full understanding and it used to be same about turning in bed. We dont realise how often we do until this.

    I found just recently I got a lot of relief sleeping in the recliner, surprisingly I didnt have the need to turn as often either.

    Heat packs helped me a lot over the yrs and I think they're talking about hot and cold these days. The muscles tense severely which is where heat helped no end relaxing them.

    You probably know about deep breathing Elizabeth that can help the overall tension both mentally and physically.

    No need if you're not feeling like replying to this. Just letting you know I'm listening and care very much.

    Wishing you some reprieve sooner than later

  20. Elizabeth CP
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    1 December 2020 in reply to demonblaster
    So=y for late reply. Back feeling a lot better but still need to be careful. Been very tired possibly combination of the backpain and frustration re not being able to do things plus really busy. I'm struggling to follow the advice of my therapists. Keep getting overwhelmed with things needing to be done. Saturday was bad. Visited bil early afternoon which was fine. Rarely see him. Then went to my son's for grandsons birthday. Dil not in a good mood. She'd had an argument with her mother the day before. Her mother left. They live with her parents . .i spoke to her dad who was really upset about situation. My DIL. overheard and go angry with him for talking to me. The later her mum returned. Then DIL became really angry because I was talking to her mum and then started yelling and accusing me of all sorts of things before storming off. It was only after she left I had any chance to spend time with my grandkids. We then had a long drive home. I feel really bad. I want to see my grandkids but don't want to go back to their house. Unfortunately my son is rarely allowed to bring the kids here.
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  21. demonblaster
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    4 December 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hey Elizabeth and everyone ☺

    Thanks hun but never be sorry about a late reply especially that possibly it might add to how you're feeling. I know you respond when you can.
    And here's about no hurry to reply. It needs to be when you're up to.

    Very good news your backs on the mend. They're terribly painful.
    As you are it's handy to keep it in the back of the mind to be careful. When we have troubles they're very unpredictable

    That would be very upsetting Dil going off at you poor lady. It hurts doesn't it being on the receiving end from a major tanty by the sounds.
    Sheez she sounds pretty hard to get along with having a go at everyone.
    How's the relationship in calmer times?

    My thoughts are you have a right to speak to who you want surely.
    They probs needed someone to talk to. Understandable.
    Ok she was upset but others were too by the sounds because of how she was.
    Possibly she felt ganged up on which I don't think for a second was anyones intention and being so angry let it out on you but I don't know the story just a thought.
    Doesn't make it ok to go crook at you though.

    Not good it being uncomfortable to see grandies either.
    Hopefully when she cools off things might be smoothed out.

    Shame that happened and you've been having a hard time and in recovery from your back pain its no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed with so much on and lots to do.

    Darl under stress it's difficult to think further.
    I wonder if there are things that can wait till later.
    Is there anyone that can help hun you poor soul you sound so stressed I do feel for you.

    Hope you're finding life a little better a lot easier would be ideal of course.

    Better days hun ⚘Time keeps us moving through the hard times.

  22. Elizabeth CP
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    5 December 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Thank you for your caring reply.

    I think I have to accept that I can't change my DIL. At Christmas I will just have to make sure I offer to help my other DIL with things that keep me away from the problem DIL. It isn't ideal but I can't do much else.

    I spoke to my psych about what happened but that stirred things up making me feel very agitated. My psych has seen/ heard my DIL from a distance. She is so loud that anyone within 100m of her quickly gets an idea what she is like.

    I was triggered badly yesterday by something on the news. I switched it off but the distressing image was already imprinted on my mind impossible to get rid of.

    Today I've been better than yesterday but still tired and depressed. Yesterday I was extremely depressed.

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  23. quirkywords
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    6 December 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Elizabeth,

    It is sad when it is hard to have time with your grandchildren due to your DIL.

    Does she argue with everyone .?

    I am glad you a had a better day after your vet depressed day.

    Christmas is supposed to be a oeacefulnt8me but so often it is full of conflict and arguments. I hope it works out ok.

    It has been a hard year for your, it would be nice to have a calm Christmas.
    take care

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  24. Elizabeth CP
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    6 December 2020 in reply to quirkywords

    My DIL argues with everyone. At least it is not me.

    Today visited my daughter but ended up with my SIL very upset with me. I offered to help them move but he thought I was trying to pressure him so it took ages until he calmed down and listened to my apology & my explanation of what I was offering to do. He has been under a lot of stress lately which led to him overreacting. Unlike my DIL this is not typical of him. I'm feeling very overwhelmed ATM & have lots on. I was hoping to get some definite times to help them move so I can keep the times that suit clear. They just got the key to their new house yesterday &my daughter wanted to be in ASAP so they could enjoy Christmas in the new house. My son & DIL (nearby ones) offered to hlp next weekend & asked me to arrange it but my SIL didn't want this help.

    I feel like I'm unable to communicate with anyone without causing problems which is making me feel terrible.

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  25. demonblaster
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    8 December 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth Quirky and everyone ☺

    Hope todays shaping up to a good one for you hun. It sounds like it's been pretty rough with people which hurts a lot at anytime but worse when your hearts opening to help them and they react badly. Ok your sons been under high stress that can contort our view on things but still must have hurt. Good youse seemed to get it sorted. Frustrating being misunderstood but clear now that's great.

    It's so kind to offer help with moving it's a massive job. Pos they aren't sure of dates at this stage.

    It'd make it easier I'd think to not take it so much to heart that dil argues with everyone as she was. Still not much chop is it.

    Often people let their worst out under pressure on the people they love the most. Maybe because they know deep down that person won't drop them.

    I know with your sister you walk at times do you think that or somewhere close by could help you destress. Feel sorry for you lovey.

    See you later darl sometime. Remember to take short periods of time to think it through over a cuppa and breathe nice deep and slowly a few times ☺ If on exhaling tell yourself to feel your shoulders physically soften. Helps

  26. Elizabeth CP
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    8 December 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Today & yesterday I've felt really down. Yesterday was busy with my husband's appointments. Today I was really unmotivated so achieved nothing.

    I got a text from my SIL apologising for how he reacted which was nice but I'm still concerned how to help without upsetting him.

    I walk with my son sometimes. My only sister lived in the US so can't walk with her. My son is really busy particularly now lockdown is finished he needs to catch up on things he couldn't do in lockdown so don't see him so much.

    My appointment with the exposure therapist tomorrow has been cancelled which is upsetting.

    I don't know what is wrong with me.

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  27. demonblaster
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    8 December 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth and everyone ☺

    Dear lady it's awful feeling like that. Sometimes when everything builds up it seems like it won't change but it does with time in most cases which doesn't really help for now though does it.

    From what I'm hearing you have quite a lot on at the moment (atm) and with looking after dear hubby it's understandable finding it all full on poor thing

    There's been so much grief for people with covid and it can be a stressful time of yr on top I wonder if that's frazzling people. So good your sil apologised.

    I guess but don't know if you've been sleeping enough, as you'd no doubt well know that has it's own world of stress for us and lifes so much harder in those times. In a way I hope a big contributor is tiredness because then when you catch up things will be lighter to cope with.

    Something that sounds easy and you might be aware of and well worth the effort is thinking and feeling the memories of pleasure you've had in your life darl.

    Could be time with Grandies, a craft or hobby, walks a TV show anything hun. Our minds need to have good stimulation to pull out of the darks.

    I get a lot wrong in Bipolar during episodes. I thought you use to have walks with your sister but evidentally not...would be a mighty good walk going to America lol.

    If you drive maybe you could find a lovely spot amongst nature I know you like that from the walking thread.

    Hope you have a restful sleep tonight and wake with more energy and and feeling a sense of peace.

    See you next time ☺

  28. Elizabeth CP
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    9 December 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Afraid I don't have enough faith to walk on water so won't be walking to America to walk with my sister!!!!! I had a good friend who I used to visit regularly and we would go for walks. Covid has stopped that. Even now she is avoiding contact with people to stop Covid. Even physical distancing from her husband 'just in case' --separate bedroom and sit on chairs distanced from each other!!! She lives in an area which has had no Covid cases. I have told her I'm happy to visit when she wants me to but she needs to ring when she is ready. I don't want to pressure her.

    Sleep has been an issue so I often wake exhausted. Resting during the day messes with my sleep & makes me feel more useless. Pushing myself makes me more tired.

    This afternoon one grandson is visiting after school with his dad for a lesson in making fruit mince pies. His mum hates dried fruit so won't make them. My 6yr old grandson is excited so it will be nice. We might use the mince I've made to make some pies for us to eat then we'll make some more mince to replace it.

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  29. demonblaster
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    11 December 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth I read your post before. Just want you to know I'll be back later (bbl) with a reply ☺

    Hope your days are being good and you're feeling even a little better.

    See you near future 🖐

  30. Elizabeth CP
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    14 December 2020 in reply to demonblaster

    Sorry things have been really busy. Sat helped my son move some of my daughters things into her new house while daughter & SIL had to attend a wedding!!! We didn't get as much done as we hoped but left things in a reasonable state so they can pack & move more when they are ready. Unfortunately I was tired to start with & became dizzy while unloading 2nd load so had to rest. Still felt guilty not helping my son. My son rang after we got home to check I was OK. I really appreciated him caring about me. Yesterday was going to be quiet but ended up spending the afternoon with son & grandson's exploring some parks which were out of our limit in lockdown. Bit tiring but nice to see grandson's having fun doing crazy things!!! I'm still very tired so trying to take it easier today. Unfortunately it is hot.

    Will talk more when my mind is straight so I can think.

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