Hey Dottie and Sparky;
Thanks heaps for the wise words and encouragement! I'm a better person because of it. My heart goes out to you both, as well as my support for 'your' day to day life. I'm here for you too ok?
How easy it is to find an excuse or issue to sidetrack the mind from getting on with things. I look at my list of 'to-do's', and grope around my head for something other than what lies in front of me. What usually comes to mind is analytical crap. "I might 'think' about this first before I do it" What a cop-out!
One of my fave activities is getting on here and immersing myself in others problems. It is of course an important aspect of my day, but there needs to be a time-frame and some restraint. There are so many people I want to help, then I'm gone from 'me' and it's all over rover; the day I mean.
At the moment, it's the gym and promoting a healthy diet/lifestyle. No biggie with the planning and prep, but getting off my big bum for the 'doing' can be arduous. I've become so accustomed to sitting at my PC, coffee in one hand and smoke in the other providing much needed 'company' for my loneliness.
As many have stated on this site, thinking of ourselves 1st and foremost has to be learned. So pushing myself to get out there and look after me 'for' me, can trigger PTSD to rise.
I keep looking at my profile pic to remind me of how I want my body to represent my inner strength. Intent and motive is similar, but not so life threatening; though it does seem that way sometimes.
I mean, it's a simple enough concept let's face it. But the addictive factor of simple carbs being my drug of choice since childhood, has bought me to my knee's at times. That crutch; an easy available go-to for little people to find endorphin's, triggers battle scar's and fear of losing what kept me going back then.
Finding my silly bone this week, show's there's other avenues of enjoyment replacing addictive behaviour. Also, reminding myself, it's a life long habit that can't be eradicated in one foul swoop..gentle, patient..
My body does reflect my life; decades of self injurious behaviour and neglect, and it needs to end. I won't look like 'her', but I might just feel that good.
Raising my coffee in the air...here's to the next 12 months!
Sara xoxo ;-D