Firstly, thanks for dropping by and offering help. I really appreciate that :)
Secondly, I will take on board everything you have all said.
Quercus, i am off to see my psychologist this evening. I plan on talking about all this stuff upfront. Just be as honest as possible. You are right in saying that I am smarter than this, but at times it's overwhelming and logic simply is not enough. The illness itself speaks louder than others at times. But thanks again :)
Dory, I am on a new medication and it's maybe taking time to kick in. It means I have to reduce the other one I am on but so be it. Thanks for dropping by and saying nice things :) I appreciate it.
PL, thanks for dropping by :) 24 is young yes. Interesting what you said about your professor's son too. You are right, rarely do people get their first job in the field they studied. This is why I am hoping for a graduate offer - because the program is built like that. But I guess I need to solidify some back up options hey? Also, thanks for your help in the past too. Reading your experiences has helped. You are right about people being in the same position. I only ever seem to compare myself to people I know who are doing better than me.. reminds me of a quote by David Hume about how we seem to compare ourselves to those whom we know are in a better position.. like we are setting ourselves up for failure..
Pysis thanks for dropping by. Thanks also for your thoughts :)
Jay Indeed. I should go back over some of the other stuff I have written when I have been in similar positions. It can be hard though I must admit. Thanks :)
swtpotato I agree. We get to decide what success means for us. I think this is exceptional advice :) I am going to start looking at myself beyond my diagnosis though. To live in spite of it, not because of it. Reminds me of a cool trick my psych told me about replacing every 'but' with an 'and' (i have depression and social anxiety AND i need to do ) which works better than the alternative. I've also got into Jordan Peterson's material. He's exceptional.
Sophie_M Hey there. Thanks for your help.The 'all or nothing' thinking patterns are something I catch myself doing a fair bit. Making ultimatums. I have other supports, but it's just that it does seem like I don't have any other than forums at times. Maybe it's because of the immediacy of them. They are right here anyway. I have a psych appointment this arvo.
James thanks for your help :)