I am well :) just mega busy at work so I don't post nearly as much as I used to.
Yeah that makes sense to me about how sex and relationships are a big part, but not the primary issue.
I agree with you that acceptance of yourself is likely the wider problem. Is it that having an intimate relationship feels like it's necessary for you to accept yourself and have confidence? So even if you were to look at your entire life and realise that you've come so far in so many aspects, not having been in an intimate relationship just trumps all that?
I saw you posted about the "incel movement" in the men isolated thread. I find the group quite interesting even if I really dislike the sense of entitlement. But at the same time, I think the group does highlight not only how many young men feel about the importance of a sexual relationship, but how needing it and not having it can feel so emasculating.
So not to toss a spanner in the works, but I do think that talking about it can be helpful in a way, as long as we do it respectively which I don't think the "incels' do.
For example, a close mate of mine who is 25 had sex for the first time a couple of months ago. We have spoken a few times about sex even before his first time. I remember our chats before were centered mostly around attitude to sex and intimacy and that he really wanted to, but only with the 'right girl'. Even though we'd joke that with his non-existent relationship history it was going to be a long wait, I think those chats just helped him get it off his chest.
For me personally, sex almost scares me (I'm scared of passion) but I really crave intimacy. When I have been out of a relationship, I really struggle because I don't have that intimacy and I am reminded whereever I walk or go of other people's intimate relationships. I am also reminded of my own unfulfilled desires because I see people who I know I would not have a chance with. And once I'm on that tangent, it becomes a self-critique.
I think it is really hard and I don't really have a solution except to talk about it. The more we talk, the more we normalise our experience.
Sorry, I think I have just dumped some stuff on you. Obviously I feel quite strongly about this topic haha. I don't know if any of that is relateable!