I feel like not only are you being hard on yourself for not having those experiences but also because you are frustrated with yourself for tying your happiness to it.
It's okay to want those experiences, it's normal. There is much joy to be had sharing your life with another person (if it's a healthy relationship), not tying your self worth to another person though. But you can be happy being single too and there are many perks being single over being in a relationship. They both have good points.
But I do understand what it's like to be longing for love, more so if you haven't had it before.
I see connection as a human need, you may not die without it like you do water but I still believe it is a need in all of us. Isolation can really mess with your head even if you have good self esteem.
I think you probably are desirable to women and it sounds like you have a lot to offer in terms of who you are inside as a person, please don't go changing yourself to fit into the "player" crowd. Players and sleazy men are one of the biggest off putting traits (well for me anyway) but I suspect for a lot of women.
From what you've said about the kind of man that you are, I can tell you that a lot of women would kill to be with a man like that, especially after being treated like shit by other men. If you find a girl who is a decent human being, you're virginity shouldn't even be an issue.
I think the issue is just making contact, trying to make a connection. Which is hard for a lot of people, I mean it's scary and it makes you feel vulnerable to put yourself out there.
There are probably more women than you realize who feel attracted to you and curious about you but maybe they feel like you come across as not interested? Maybe they are also feeling insecure and shy about talking to you. I think women still like men to make the first move generally.
Sorry to hear about the girl you were going to talk to at uni, Do you think she sat in your seat to try to talk to you as well? Is there any chance you could find her on facebook or something to strike up a conversation?