Hi all
Thanks for reading this post.
Aged 34, I arrived in Australia as a Asian migrant circa 8 months ago and now work in a very good professional firm in Sydney earning more than decent wages. My wife works in early childcare and we manage a decent lifestyle. Certainly nothing lavish, but we are never once in lack anything that's essential and never behind on bills.
While all's good on the outside, i struggle everyday with depression and anxiety - 90% of it attributable to challenges with my job. Prior to migration I had spent the middle part of my career on 70-80 hour weeks; the intensity I experienced in that period had totally worn me out. However, the will to migrate was so intense that somehow I survived another 2 years (changing a job in between) before finally migrating. I was fortunate to get a job before I had even landed, owing to some really niche skills in an obscure knowledge area. The first few months here were intense, and I was put on the firing line from Day 1. At that time I was already running on an empty tank but paying the bills and getting settled obviously took precedence.
Then comes the problem. While my skills have proved irreplaceable, the business is fast drying up. The firm is trying to get me to pick up new skill sets, to which I tried picking up a few simple jobs outside my area of expertise. However, the learning curve was extremely steep. No surprise since I was tasked to fly even before I could learn how to walk. This wasn't what I was trained for, and the odds of succeeding was of a magnitude I see as hopelessly against me (given my current state of chronic burnout, I was in no condition to invest 70-80 hours a week to make this succeed). It was like asking a baker to double up as a sous chef and given no time to acquire the skills.
I have come to a point when chronic burnout, severe job anxiety, and constant bouts of extreme stress had left me wrecked and in a terrible mental state. I am somehow still holding it altogether, but my mind can best be described as yearning to get away from it all. Going to work everyday is a huge challenge and every job assigned to me puts me on tenterhooks. I desparately want to quit this job, but am too afraid of not being able to find another one (especially for Asian migrants). Rent will certainly be a long term problem; my wife's wages cover it, but there won't be much of it left.
Appreciate if anyone can share their experiences and what they've done to get out of this rut.