I truly feel for you so much right now as the struggle becomes overwhelming for you.
Wondering if you can seek an overdue extension on the grounds of compassion. Being able to speak to someone regarding mental health challenges may grant you what you need.
It's definitely hard to stop comparing our self to other people. When I look at other people, I try to imagine what leads them to look the way they do. While in the past, I might have compared myself to some slim woman going for a run, now I say to myself 'You too could look that way if you put as much effort in as her', if that's the way I wanted to look. I don't necessarily feel the need by the way. Or if someone's wearing an outfit I wish I had the guts to wear, these days I see that person as being inspirational, instead of being jealous of their confidence. So, every perception challenges me. I have grown to love studying people, wondering about what makes them tick and how they challenge me in different ways.
Seeta, being called worthless is seriously questionable. Highly questionable. I can easily see how valuable you are. What the heck is wrong with the person who can't see it, the person who has commented on your worth or value? Seriously, what's wrong with them?! For a start, I can pick one obvious fault they have - They do not have a filter. Who the heck says this sort of thing out loud, when they believe such rubbish? Keep it to yourself I say Okay, sorry 'bout that. I'm getting pretty triggered now because I know you're amazing and this person is a flat out liar.
I've discovered over time how we can come to be a bit of a human lie detector. You'll be able to feel this for yourself at times, so you know what I mean. When someone tells a lie about us, to us, we'll feel it through our body, as a sensation. It's uncomfortable. When someone tells the truth about us, it will lift our spirits. Every time this person tells you a lie, like you're worthless, you'll feel it and you'll know they're lying. Degrading people naturally agitate me. I have a few in my life and, I tell you, the second they walk in the room I'm triggered to agitation. I'm so sensitive to them that I have to talk myself down and calm myself down if I have to be around them. They set off my nervous system in a big way sometimes. My s**t detector naturally switches on when I'm with them. One of the up sides of being sensitive :)
Wondering what kind of 'normal' you're searching for or are you searching for natural?