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Forums / Relationship and family issues / Marriage breakup + kids

Topic: Marriage breakup + kids

  1. Mr Paul
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    18 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    "I just checked my home loan and ex has not contributed to the home loan for the last 3 fortnights."

    It looks like your wife is talking a different tack. Her goal is the same, she is just trying something different to force your hand. Nothing new here.

    Can I miss a payment if there is residual money in the account for next time?

    Yes, only if you are ahead on your house payments. That being said, do not default on the payments when they become due again - i.e. don't go into the red.

    If your wife continues to default on the house payments you will need to step up and pay the lot by yourself. This is not as bad as you might think. If you have to make the full house payments, keep a good record. These payments will be considered as "post separation" contributions made by you. Post separation contributions will be considered at mediation if you have the proof.

    Notwithstanding the above, I would strongly recommend that you talk to your lawyer about your wife's unilateral decision to stop paying her share of the mortgage. In any event, you should talk to a lawyer prior to mediation to get an idea of what is fair and what is not fair for your situation. You cannot negotiate at mediation if you do not know your entitlements in the eyes of family law. I can guarantee that your wife is getting legal advice.

    One other thing, the mediators will not give you legal advice. They are there to help your negotiate an agreement. It is not their job to tell you if that agreement if fair or not. That is why you need legal advice prior to mediation.

    I would also suggest that you start paying your share of the joint expenses directly - no more cash transfers to your wife. Your finances need to be separate from your wife's. The sooner the better.

    Talk to the school about the BYOD requirement for next year. You can no longer trust what your wife is telling you; she has an agenda.

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  2. Mr Paul
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    18 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hi EM

    I thought you were simply dealing with a troublesome ex. I tend to forget about family issues given that my marriage was childless.

    Confucius said:

    “The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.”

    You will find a new equilibrium, if you can weather the storm.

    All the best!

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  3. ecomama
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    18 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Thanks Mr Paul. Battles on 3 fronts atm JUST to test my fortitude & sanity!
    A MIGHTY Sailor at the helm lol. I Pray for calm waters. I'm a reed.

    Hi dl23

    Game's on a new Level. She's reading from demon's Handbook.

    Agree 100% exW is getting legal advice.
    I wouldn't be surprised if she has been since before house was built tbh.
    There are Lawyers & there are OUTLAWyers - she's got the latter.
    YOU have the former.

    (This is financial abuse. Note this well. If you have to cover the entire mortgage then it's far worse. I had to do this for YEARS before & after separation).

    Sure! Don't pay mortgage until all available monies are used up.

    Tbh Courts don't care a dot.
    For some unknown reason, Judges see 2 grown adults who made choices.
    Both parties suffer the consequences.
    Courts don't care because you are "one" in Marriage.

    The only sway you may have is during Mediation to bring this up, keep a record of this with Bank Ac proof.

    Basically it's Rafferty's Rules.
    Things WE know as moral & responsible are not how Courts see things.
    Money no, kids a little more.

    How many fortnights are there left before rock bottom ie extra payments all used up?

    Once it hits rock bottom you may have to cover the entire mortgage IF you want to keep a clean Credit Rating for your future. As per Mr Paul.

    My prediction is that if you sought legal advice from a paid lawyer, they'd say forget about it, the amount isn't worth anything in the Court's eyes. And they'd be correct.
    If you sought legal advice from Men's Legal Service they may have more succinct ways of handling this during Mediation to get some type of reimbursement.

    Basically NO MATTER what each party did during the Marriage (after 7y of Marriage) or paid for OR EARNT.... the "fair and equitable" part of Family Law is ONLY considering the end result.
    Split 50/50 - gone.

    "The 4 Steps of Divorce" is baloney in Mediation & Courts too from all the cases I've seen.

    The only reason I got the results I did was because I went in hard.
    I had ALL the evidence & did things Courts didn't expect.
    I NEVER made demon an offer, even verbally.
    Not even in my Affidavit. Nup. Nothing.

    I had excellent intelligent advice but the key thing was that I KNEW demon.

    KNOW your opponent.

    NEVER pay exW for bills.
    PAY DIRECT.
    It ALL gets lost in the fog.

    Batten down the hatches.
    Hold on for the ride.
    This is the part Mr Paul & I were stabilising you for.

    You ready Mr Paul?

    EM

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  4. ecomama
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    18 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Absolutely don't trust exW at all.

    Kids keep covering. Very important here.

    On further pondering your case dl23.... you can stop all money transfers re: all bills to exW... esp all those in HER name only.

    Please note.... joint names were on ALL utilities here but it wasn't until I phoned the Elec, Internet AND phone companies that I found out that demon had made itself SOLE AUTHORITY on every account he could.

    He must've forged my signature. Had women pretend to be me over the phone etc...

    This backfired on demon magnificently in the end.

    I didn't have to pay a cent.

    HE DID.

    Basically it wasn't ME who ended up with a mark against my credit ratins (in those days) but it was demon who did on all accounts.
    One I did but I could verify DV - financial abuse with plenty of evidence so Banks ignored this.

    Otherwise my credit rating was spotless.

    EM

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  5. Mr Paul
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    18 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    Hi dl

    In theory, "post separation" contributions (mortgage) are supposed to be treated differently to contributions made during the marriage. That be said, I would have to agree with EM when she said that the "four-step process" is "baloney". The court seems to devalue the 4-step process in their zeal to achieve a "fair and equitable" outcome. The emphasis seems to be on equitable, not so much on what is fair.

    The system has broken under its own convoluted and inconsistent decisions (rulings). Even the judges don't know how to apply the addled law. A retired Federal Circuit Court Judge told me that the once "bright line" is no longer there. He was glad to be out of the system.

    If your wife has decided to stop paying her share of the mortgage, things are getting nasty. To my mind you only have two options open to you - I would get legal advice on both options.

    1. You pay the full mortgage with little chance of getting your money back
    2. You also stop paying the mortgage and place the house on the market for sale. Tell the bank that you would like to put the mortgage repayments on hold until the house sells. It is better to voluntarily sell the house rather than have it repossessed. If anything is left over after the mortgage and loans are paid out, that money will sit in a trust account until property settlement is reached.

    At this point, it might be better to give your wife what she wants (option 2) - bend like the reed. This is better than throwing good money after bad. The irony is, she will be worse off.

    Just a few thoughts!

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  6. dl23
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    18 October 2020 in reply to dl23
    Hi EM and Mr Paul

    Thanks for all the posts and information.

    I hope you are both well.

    I was thinking to stop paying the mortgage and force her hand. She is only doing it as apparently I stole her money from my tax. So childish. Like throwing my socks on the ground twice from laundry cupboard today.

    There isn't enough to cover the next fortnight. Almost. I have actually rescheduled my direct debit for after 6 weeks of fortnights to see what she does.

    Can you actually ring bank and stall payments due to sale of house? The sale will happen after mediation.

    So I only pay shared food costs, evidence provided childvar costs and storage.

    What I need to is ring up utilities and council rates to get a statement or my own login to see if she is pulling money out of accounts if we are ahead - which we could be. They will be in her name but I'm sure if I explain my current situation, I should be able to get evidence or setup logins to online accounts.

    I know she purposely changed mediation days as she knows it's my after work meeting days and she knows I would want to miss those.

    She will get a real shock during parent mediation when I tell her how I want the parenting roster. She has it all mapped out in her head how she wants it. Good luck. If she doesn't agree, then we just keep living together and property mediation will have to wait. She will just end up delaying it. I will not succumb to her control.

    Maybe she is jealous of my new social life 🤣.

    Thanks

    dl23

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  7. Mr Paul
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    19 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    I was thinking to stop paying the mortgage and force her hand.

    I don't think you have any other option other than to stop paying the mortgage. It is unlikely that you will recover the extra money you pay into the mortgage - get legal advice.

    She is only doing it as apparently I stole her money from my tax

    Possibly?

    More than likely she has found a way to force the sell of the house. First she tried to bully you into selling the house. Then she threatened to get a court order to sell the house. Now she has stopped paying the mortgage.

    I don't think this is about tax, this is about forcing the sale of the house.

    So childish

    I don't think so. Her actions are premeditated to force the sale of the sale of the house. She has finally found a way to get what she wants.

    Can you actually ring bank and stall payments due to sale of house?

    You can ring the bank at any time. If you intend to stop mortgage payment, the bank will need to know. The bank will work with you if you explain the situation and tell them that the house is going on the market.

    The sale will happen after mediation.

    Ideally, yes. Unfortunately, your wife is forcing the sale prior to mediation. Unless you decide to pay the full mortgage by yourself (not recommended), the house will have to sell prior to mediation; she has out-smarted the dispute resolution process to get what she wants.

    What your wife does not realise is that the proceeds of sale will sit in a trust account until consent orders and/or a Binding Financial Agreement is finalised. In effect, you wife has also out-smarted herself. The mediation process will go ahead before or after the house is sold. Either way, the money will not be released until orders and BFA are finalised.

    What I need to is ring up utilities and council rates to get a statement or my own login

    Yes, the house is in both names. You can get a login in for council rates.

    If the utilities are in your wife's name only - do nothing. She can approach you for your half of the utilities bill.

    I know she purposely changed mediation days as she knows it's my after work meeting days and she knows I would want to miss those.

    Your wife is not interested in mediation. The irony is, nothing can be settled until you have an agreement on property and parenting. Your wife's actions are illogical.

    I will not succumb to her control.

    This has been the problem from the very beginning. You wife, like mine, wants to control the process every step of the way.

    Legal advice is required!

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  8. dl23
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    19 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul
    Hi Mr Paul

    I still think she stopped paying mortgage for a short period to get extra cash for either a "get back" tactic from me apparently stealing money from her from my tax or she is going to use that for the display furniture that she requested me to buy months ago. So she takes this money as some kind of leveller.

    I will just stop paying mortgage and then the emails and phone calls will come for a please explain. Never missed a payment before. She can deal with this. I think she assumes I haven't got access to the online account. I am forcing her hand to deal with the insufficient funds for next weeks payment.

    She has agreed to mediation and it's only weeks away so it's a bit late to force the sale of the house. If we get to property mediation. We will get stuck on parenting mediation when I put forward my no negotiation parenting roster.

    I already pay half the utilities. What I am concerned about is we may be in credit and so she could've stopped paying her share or pulled the credit out.

    I will ring my lawyer for a first meeting this week. More money to spend. Will have all my questions ready to go.

    Thanks

    dl23
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  9. Mr Paul
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    19 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    So she takes this money as some kind of leveller.

    I agree. That being said, she is also forcing your hand on the sale of the house. It does not matter what you do, she wins.

    I will just stop paying mortgage and then the emails and phone calls will come for a please explain.

    Just be careful it does not affect you credit rating. You will need another home loan after the dust settles. Probably best to talk to the bank after your get some legal advice.

    She has agreed to mediation and it's only weeks away so it's a bit late to force the sale of the house

    This does not mean that mediation will be successful. In my case, mediation was a joke because my wife wanted the world and was not willing to negotiate. Hopefully your mediation will be straight forward.

    It could be that your wife wants the house on the market prior to mediation with the expectation of having an agreement in place prior to the house selling. Remember, it can take 3 to 12 months to sell the house - depending on the market in your area. This is viable option if you are in agreement.

    I will ring my lawyer for a first meeting this week.

    I think this is a good idea. You will need to know what your entitlements are prior to mediation. Your cannot negotiate effectively at mediation if you don't know what you are entitled too. This is where a family law lawyer can help. Tell the lawyer what you want or expect from mediation. The lawyer will then tell you if your expectations are reasonable or not.

    Legal advice will cost, but the expense is necessary. Remember your wife is getting legal advice. In addition, your lawyer will have to sign off on any agreements made at mediation.

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  10. ecomama
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    19 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    Hi dl23

    ExW
    - is only focussed on money.
    -
    wants the house sold asap.
    - i
    s getting legal advice on how to get that done asap.

    You
    * can get free legal advice via Men's Legal (using Women's Legal prob saved me $50k in the end).
    * I would ONLY pay a Lawyer if you need them to physically do something ie sign off, rep you in Court etc.
    NB:
    Lawyers cannot control Banks.

    HOME LOAN
    You could apply for a Hardship App via your bank BUT IME it requires 2 signatures and minimal payments. This may have changed IDK..ASK YOUR BANK.

    AND whatever missed payments, say over 6 to 18 months, WILL BE recouped by the Bank, with INTEREST when the Property is sold.

    You don't live there for free.

    COUNCIL RATES etc
    * You need your own logins like YESTERDAY (demon ran this up to $10k in debt after I'd paid him to pay these)
    * Find out where these accounts stand.
    * Speak to Council if needed.
    * You can do a Hardship App because of Family Law.
    * THIS debt is iffy... VERY iffy. It's NOT paid out automatically from Sale of home. It remains a debt in joint names.
    (I ended up paying minimum for years during FLC. Total debt was taken off payout to demon, since I remortgaged for house - so I took this debt on solely after Settlement).

    Never again let another person have control over all accounts.

    You need to get control back. At this late stage you'll be finding out the "state of affairs".
    I hope it's WAY better than my situation.

    EM

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  11. ecomama
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    19 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    SUMMARY

    Just a broad "Assets" summary, please correct if I'm off track dl23. Mr Paul please add too.

    * there are no "winners and losers" in FL... everyone loses (except Lawyers).

    * the aim is to minimise your losses.

    * until you get a firm grasp of every single loan / account, you won't know any figures. You need evidence of all these for Mediation.

    * Sale price of House is unknown until SALE. (Housing market is unstable. This sounds like a "high end home" so could endure more losses in this market).

    * Dl23 has indicated House Sale monies may not cover mortgage. (Both Parties may leave with this debt to keep paying) .

    * I'm very concerned that the Pool Loan is in Dl23's sole name. This won't be automatically paid out with proceeds from Sale of House.
    Please don't think it will be dl23... FL doesn't work this way. As Mr Paul said, Mediation is only that. No one "makes" someone do something.

    * The cars can be reconciled with all "assets" but if there's only "liabilities" then there's no money left.

    There's more but these are my major concerns that dl23 needs to talk with Men's Legal about.

    EM

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  12. Mr Paul
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    19 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    G'day all

    EM, I would have to agree with your Summary.

    The reality is, dl and wife have more debt that equity. Once the loans are paid out, there will be nothing left to divide. If there is any equity, it will sit in a trust account until orders are agreed too.

    In regard to the pool, I don't think the loan in dl's sole name will be a big issue. After all, the pool is sold with the house and the two assets cannot be separated. Logically, anything left over after the mortgage is paid, would go to the pool loan. Dl, this is something you may have to push for at mediation.

    Unfortunately I don't think the "Men's Legal Service" provide a service in WA. They might provide a telephone service from interstate. A phone service, if possible, will probably be good enough; it will save a bundle.

    https://menslegalservice.org.au/where-to-find-us/

    Ex-wife's decision to stop paying the mortgage is significant and very concerning. There will be an agenda. Action will be required.

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  13. ecomama
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    19 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    The free Men's / Women's Legal Services are phone services only everywhere.
    Still they are invaluable for saving thousands.

    Ummm there's alot of "logic" and ethics in our thinking but that isn't how FL plays out.

    Dl23 please clarify whether the pool loan is in your sole name or joint names.
    I can't remember.

    Sure exW not paying mortgage is concerning but no one can make her pay it.
    I predict no one will because she's following her legal advice - attempting to force dl23 to sell before assets and liabilities are reconciled - FDA / Settlement reached. (Leaving dl23 with debts in his name - no one can / will make her pay).
    It was her plan all along.

    Besides dl23 covering the entire mortgage, the ONLY median option I see is to apply for a Hardship App - I understand minimum payments will still have to be made. Contact Bank for info.

    The more acrimony = the more legal fees.

    exW is playing hardball.
    This is heading down the engaging Lawyers (paying to argue) and FL Court (paying more to argue). The web of this path splays out in many expensive paths.

    IF there's visibly NO large equity after all debts are paid then Lawyers will advise to cop it all and get out. Cop the debts.

    They're only interested in getting money.

    They'll see there won't be enough money to pay THEM from sale of all property.

    EM

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  14. dl23
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    19 October 2020 in reply to ecomama
    Hi EM and Mr Paul

    Busy in here today.

    The pool loan is in my name. I didn't think it mattered as it's joint marital debt???

    Is it not a double edged sword ex is playing with. If I don't pay then both of our credit ratings are affected and the house could be sold as a fire sale by bank if mortgage isn't upheld. So we both lose out. Not long ago, ex was complaining about having her credit rating affected if I didn't agree to sell the house and going to court and wasting 1000s of dollars, meaning we would default on shared loan debts. I would guess her view point would not change and wants to avoid courts and wasting money.

    Is she just bluffing again?
    Is she trying to level the money situation with a "get back" money attitude? (As she thinks I stole from her)
    Will be interesting to see if she starts paying again next pay as there isn't enough in the mortgage account to cover one more payment unless someone at least pays their share.
    If I sell my home theatre setup later on worth 1000s, I could take her non payed mortgage payments out of that? That's if it sells or is left with house as a dangling carrot for buyers.
    Is she trying to save money for display furniture for future home opens?

    Thanks

    dl23
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  15. ecomama
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    19 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    HI dl23

    From what I've seen play out it matters alot about loans in sole names.

    The thing you're not understanding is that NO ONE can make exW pay anything.

    Tbh I'm very concerned. As you mentioned a while back that the sale of the house may not even cover the mortgage? (Let alone pool loan).

    Lawyers will have to get involved for YOU to get the pool loan paid out from "money held in trust" AFTER sale of the house. Will there be any money left after sale of house? I know it's a guess anyway.
    I'm pretty much Praying for you that exWs Lawyer will advise her to sign that off.

    But they don't have to. That's what I'm very concerned about. They can advise her... your name's not on that loan - don't agree. That could've been why it was manufactured to be IN your sole name from the beginning.... why her car was paid off first etc etc.

    Re: exWs motives. I think you're looking far too low with "getting you back etc" thoughts.

    She wants OUT and will do whatever it takes.

    This is her playing hard ball and I think you're not getting the long term issues.

    She won't have to sign off on paying out pool loan.
    NOTHING happens "automatically" at all!

    Monies can be "held in trust" for years until things are worked out.

    This path she's taking leads to - you having the choice of whether to let her off signing off to pay out pool loan and you pay it off solely OR lodging in FLC in aide to help you get her to pay it off. I haven't seen this done successfully at all before UNLESS one party is under significant financial pressure from their Lawyer TO sign off and in the last Court date before it's sent to Trial. Around $75K - $100K in legal fees to get to this point.

    IF there's no money left after sale of house then I can't see exWs Lawyer advising her to take on half the pool loan either. They'd be outta there because her Lawyer will be worried about getting paid.

    Another concern in this vein is for exW to run up the credit card, even raise the limit to equal pool loan (she wants to buy up big on furniture remember), then sole name debts are even and you each take these debts.
    She can do this and it's still a "marital debt".

    (She can get ANY loans atm and they're still half yours).

    EM

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  16. Mr Paul
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    20 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    Hi guys

    I did post earlier, but it seems to have vanished into the ether.

    Is it not a double edged sword ex is playing with

    It is. The problem is, I don't think your ex has thought things through. In her zeal to force the sale of the house, she does not realise that the money from the sale will end up in a "trust account". Once the money is in trust, she will need your signature to access that money. Game over, until you reach agreement at mediation.

    The pool loan is in my name. I didn't think it mattered as it's joint marital debt???

    Yes, the pool loan is joint debt, and yes, she is half responsible for that debt. The problem is, if there is insufficient money left over from the sale of the house, you will have to take expensive legal action to make her pay her share. She will not pay voluntarily. She will most likely walk away and leave you with the debt. That seems to be the game plan.

    The same goes for her credit card, if she runs up debt, it will be joint debt. However, the shoe is now on the other foot.

    Is she just bluffing again?

    I hope that is all it is. No good can come from a forced sale.

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  17. ecomama
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    20 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Dear Mr Paul and dl23

    Re: Sale of house
    I understand that, without Family Lawyers being involved, 50% of proceeds of house sale will go to each Party's designated bank account automatically.

    Dl23 will need a Family Lawyer to stop this happening and for the "monies to be held in trust".

    It's been pretty obvious from the outset that exW had planned this all along ie for house to be sold asap and for dl23 to be left with all the debts.

    She hasn't gotten it ALL the way she wanted ie house wasn't sold asap. Dl23 hasn't (so far) been lumbered with debts for new furniture etc - this could still happen in a round about way by exW lumping debts onto her credit card.

    But unless dl23 engages a Lawyer at some point the monies will be split with no clear recourse for dl23.

    EM

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  18. Mr Paul
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    21 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    50% of proceeds of house sale will go to each Party's designated bank account automatically.

    I've purchased and sold many houses over the years, the money always went into the conveyancers trust account. Two signatures were always required to release the money.

    But unless dl23 engages a Lawyer at some point the monies will be split with no clear recourse for dl23.

    Just to complicate matters, the property is encumbered. The bank will also be involved; they will want their money first.

    But yes, a lawyer would be advisable; just to be sure, to be sure.

    Cheers

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  19. dl23
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    22 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul
    Hi EM and Mr Paul

    I will engage the services of a lawyer. Will probably have to be after hours due to me mostly having the kids and doing most school pickups. Kind of the story of my ex relationship. Me doing most things with the kids.

    I feel a sense of accomplishment and happiness in a way of shutting off the care factor and not reacting to any email sent to me. It feels good. I have been listening to the audiobook "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@#k" in the car. He talks about not giving a f@#k and zero f@#k's given. Very empowering. Any more suggestions let me know. I am in the audiobook zone.

    So, I have a good weekend planned.

    Tonight, I am going out for dinner for a "2nd time" with a "friend". So happy and best thing this friend knows everything that's going on. And I will see this friend on Sat morning for a run, exercise and drink. Nice weather here at the moment.

    Take care both of you. If you haven't listened to the audiobook I mentioned above, you should. It's on Spotify. Remember, zero f@#k's given.

    Thanks

    dl23
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  20. ecomama
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    22 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    Yep zero to the wrong people.

    Well done dl23, you're really putting it all together in your mind.

    This as you know is NO Mean feat!

    Our mind is the first bomb site to clear.

    Holding strong! You're doing brilliantly.

    EM

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  21. VanVincent
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    22 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    You should make sure you have a lawyer engaged. It can be costly but it is worth it.

    I can say from experience of old friends that you need to be cautious about not paying the mortgage even if your ex-partner is not. It may look like financial abuse against your children if the matter goes before a judge.

    You need to be strong and continue to show what you have demonstrated on this forum. That you are a good father who is intent on maintaining the status quo for his boys during difficult times by encouraging their sporting achievements and maintaining the roof over their heads while things are sorted in a fair and equitable way.

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  22. ecomama
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    2172 posts
    22 October 2020 in reply to VanVincent

    That's lovely advice VanVincent!

    dl23 sure does need some legal advice!

    IME the judge didn't give a hoot about exH not paying the mortgage... like ever.
    Judge also didn't care about exH not paying child support either @ $26 / month for all the kids for years.
    The Judge didn't care about keeping a roof over the kid's heads either.

    I didn't even get exH "full financial disclosure" and he was the one lodged in FLC!
    I gave everything honestly and transparently.
    The Judge still forced the Conciliation Conference after over a year in Court without ex' full disclosure.

    The Judge didn't even care that I needed Guards to get me into and out of Court or about the angry outbursts from ex, it's lawyer and it's supporters.

    It was Rafferty's rules.

    It was just like a cattle farm being in FLC.
    Get in then get out.

    It's a shame these things are overlooked.

    I have no idea WHY most of the Family Law's are written at all.
    Waste of paper IME.

    I really hope dl23 can avoid Court altogether!

    EM

    2 people found this helpful
  23. ecomama
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    2172 posts
    30 October 2020 in reply to dl23

    Hi dl23

    How are things?

    LOVE that podcast lol!! I began listening it but realise I'm one of those ppl who "don't give a duck to a 'dysfunctional degree'" lol! That's quoting my fiancee and I about how we deal. He made it up... he's brilliant.

    So what's going on with you? I'm just resting in the zone of "dl's FINE and doing this shyte well", so I hope you are!

    Mister PAUL.... me thinks I heard you ACTUALLY write out loud that you're "too old"? Lololol.
    Never.
    I won't hear a bar of that nonsense lol.

    That podcast I mentioned on another thread was really for girls dear Mr Paul!

    But I'm quite impressed that you gave it a go.

    Have you heard of the podcast "Everything but a fish"? Written by the QI elves?
    It's very clever and funny but scientific and really broad.

    Just an update... we've finally chosen an engagement ring for me... he's so sweet that he wants a "matching" ring omg how funny. In a "men's" style though...

    Hoping the good here men are doing well!!
    But as my grandfather always said, "If you can't be good then be good at it".
    He also said, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"... very pertinent in some cases but yuck all the way.

    Love EM

  24. Mr Paul
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    336 posts
    30 October 2020 in reply to ecomama

    G'day EM, dl

    It's good to see a little happiness through the gloom. Hopefully you are now on the road to recovery.

    That podcast I mentioned on another thread was really for girls dear Mr Paul!

    If that is what the girls are listen too, I do worry. As I said, I'm getting old. I'm beginning to think like my grandfather, but that is another story.

    After eighteen months of property settlement, my house is finally on the market. We have the first open home tomorrow; fingers crossed for a quick sale.

    Dl, you may be interested to know that the market value of the property as appraised by the real estate agent was $100,000 above the FL value of the property. Something to keep in mind if your house has to be sold.

    Cheers

    1 person found this helpful
  25. ecomama
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    2172 posts
    30 October 2020 in reply to Mr Paul

    Dl23,

    I hope you're doing okay!

    I know the Mediation would have started by now. Is there insurmountable paperwork for the financial side, same as in FLC?

    Mr Paul.. Yep!
    I haven't heard of an inflated FL Valuation or one even close to sale price tbh... (that's why it was a great opportunity for me to pay ex out)..

    within 6 months houses around us had skyrocketed in sale prices and mine was worth hundreds of thousands more than the FL Valuation in that short time.
    Thank goodness the market has remained stable here for those wishing to sell.

    It's perfectly serendipitous only 18 mths later a little fibro squatter down the road sold for nearly a million omg. No water views, tiny block etc.

    I have no intention of selling unless I absolutely have to. I'll just borrow against it later to build a cabin unless I can pay for it outright.. still not sure.

    Well done Mr Paul!
    Hope the sale goes through smoothly!

    PS: re: the podcast, I'm sure each gender would be shocked about tips we give each other in private :)

    Love EM

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