Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Forums / Staying well / UPSET? and desperate...some ideas

Topic: UPSET? and desperate...some ideas

3 posts, 0 answered
  1. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    19 September 2015

    You likely know the feeling. It included crying probably uncontrollably, everything is doomed, your life, your family and friends. You might see all others as having a happy life while you wallow in your tears.

    I've been there many times yet I've stumbled on some ideas that might help you break out of that feeling.

    The first and most important action you can make is doing two things at once. These are- a change of environment and thoughts centred on who means the most to you. ok, you are extremely upset for whatever reason and you are alone in your car or in your bedroom. Stand up, start thinking about your children or your dearest friend and walk. If you are in a car lock it up and walk.

    You return to your car or your room. Pick up a biro and paper. Begin writing. It doesn't matter what you write but make it nice, and positive even better if it rhymes.

    Basic, rhyme, meaning etc. This will move your mind to better things. Do this for at least half an hour. Go for a short walk. Take deep breaths.

    This next action is called "decision time". You have by now relaxed and no longer crying. What ever your upset was caused from you need to have at least some sort of answer in the way of action.

    Then its loved ones time. Respect them by notifying them. Don't let them worry.

    Recovery time. Try to think about a happy time.

    Sometimes we need a process to which we can go through so as to get to "the other side". We aren't taught this in schools. When we get pregnant we read up in books or attend prenatal classes to learn about the process. When we go parachuting we go through a training session. In everything we do we learn first. But when we are distraught no one has taught us the process of recovering from being desperately upset.

    Above is my survival routine. I haven't used those steps for a long time now as I'm settled, medically stable and happy. But I know it can still happen in a moment.  Change- means change of environment thinking of the ones you love. Write - write down anything, try to make it rhyme. Notify - let loved ones know you are ok. Plan- make decisions to avoid further upset.  Recovery - think happy moments. Divert your mind from sadness. Don't allow it to go to places you want to avoid.

    That's in desperate moments. Then there is self help. Go to a GP. Also plan your life to achieve goals. Be positive.

    At the end of the day you have the means to improve your life to make it the life you crave for.

    Tony WK

    3 people found this helpful
  2. JessF
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    JessF avatar
    1548 posts
    22 September 2015

    Here's an idea totally out of left field, inspired by your writing idea. I was lucky enough to go to the David Bowie exhibition in Melbourne at the weekend, and one of the things he used to do to write songs was a thing called the 'cut up' technique, which renowned authors like William Buroughs used to do.  As a fun activity at the exhibition, they provided pages from magazines, books, leaflets etc for you to cut out random phrases and paste them onto a new sheet to create lyrics and poems of your own. I haven't had so much fun in ages!  A very mindful activity and a new way to be creative and have fun with words. Give it a try!

  3. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9755 posts
    23 September 2015 in reply to JessF

    Hi JessF, good to hear from you again,

    I reckon that would be great especially with people that feel they have no ability to rhyme or make music.

    Imagination must play a big part in creating unique rhythm. Few years ago for example I left my doctors surgery very melancholy over how wonderful his treatment and level of care was. So I thought about it and felt he lifted black clouds off my mind.  Hence the following-

    BLACK CLOUDS DANCING

    It takes a special kind of man

    To sense the hurt and grief

    Unlike other ‘mates’ I see

    Smiling in the street

    They beat their chests all day

    But never see the harm

    Conquer another nameless lady

    Then return to farm  

    No wonder we men bang our heads on trees

    Beside us an empty seat

    Few mates take the time to know

    Nor take the time to greet  

    You took the time to trust

    You took the time to ask

    It wasn’t easy for me to admit

    That I couldn’t do the task  

    You saw the black clouds dancing

    Just above my head

    Tinted it grey then blew them away

    By using tact instead

      It takes a special kind of doctor

    To sense the hurt, the harm, the grief

    Thank you for not being like the others

                    -that smile in the street….  

    Tony WK

    1 person found this helpful

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up