It’s my pleasure Tamrby.
I think that’s one of the reasons talking with certain people helps. With family and certain friends, they are really so stressed out about what is going on that they’re inadvertently actually trying to suppress their own worry, rather than having the primary’s goal of helping you gain an honest understanding. This is completely understandable - you mean a lot to them, so it is very threatening when you are psychologically distressed. I have two young children of my own, so I understand this now- their wellbeing is as big a goal as my own . However, you may still be able to talk to them, it can just be.... different from talking to someone that has a little more distance and perspective.
So I think talking is good for this reason, and talking to someone with a different perspective can help you sort out two kinds of problems - problems with your thinking/mind (this is what CBT - cognitive behavioural therapy) treats. But the other are problems in life, such as stuff you’re doing that’s not helping, or in your case, people that actively undermine your desire to live a psychologically fulfilled life. It’s very complex, but that really passive aggressive stuff like filming and cyber bullying really is a form of evil I think. And so problems like that are difficult to manage, because there’s an element you can’t control. For me, most of my issues have been self generated (due to my own thought patterns and brain physiology (an exception has been my social anxiety, which is unpredictable too, because you can’t control other people, but at least with that kind of problem nobody is purposely trying to harm you. When other people are the cause, you’re never going to be able to completely predict what to do.
I’d be happy to keep talking to you as long as you need via this thread. One of the downsides is that via messages there is a huge lag and you don’t get the psychological benefits of presence with another human. But you do get someone who truly cares about you, even though they don’t know where you are or what you look or sound like. And essentially honest conversation like this has the dual benefit of caring which is vital for human flourishing, and helping to solve problems in a way less clouded by emotion.
So I guess that sounds good that you’re changing schools next year, I’m sorry it’s not sooner. Do you know if your friends will be following you to the same school?