DearLost81~
I'd like to join Sophie_M in welcoming you here to the Forum.
You asked about others , well I was declared TPI (the old-fashioned name for TPD) after being invalided out of my occupation many years ago at around your age. They admitted liability, so I ended up at home. Like you on meds, seeing a psychiatrist fortnightly, feeling seemingly useless and suicidal to go with my other mental conditions. They consisted of depression and anxiety, plus also PTSD.
I don't know which was worse in the long run, losing my occupation, identity and purpose, or being told I'd never work again.
I do know , that like you , I had confined my description of my mental health condition to everything else, but never mentioned my suicidality, or even a couple of attempts to take my life that were stopped by circumstances.
That silence was in fact the second of my mistakes in this whole sad affair . The fist being hanging on at work far too long before seeking any help at all, thus making my conditon become more serious and hard to treat. The second being too frightened and embarrassed to talk about my suicidal expereices.
It all came to a head one day alone at home and I did in fact tell my partner on her return from work. I was then amazed at how much that helped, a weight I'd not realized I had was lifted, at least in part.
From then on I was treated appropriately for all my conditions and improved, over time I improved a lot.
I also found, after a year or so that I could study and then take up a voluntary occupation. This gave me back use, self respect and purpose, as well as stopping me from being isolated.
I'm a different person today, and considering the mess I was, think many people, yourself included, can find a life where symptoms are under control. I work using skills that reinforce my perception of myself.
Dunno if that helps, but at least you may gain a bit of hope
Croix