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Forums / Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition (carers) / Anyone else have a partner with alcoholism? I am struggling!

Topic: Anyone else have a partner with alcoholism? I am struggling!

6 posts, 0 answered
  1. Meggsy123
    Meggsy123 avatar
    5 posts
    5 December 2021

    Over the past three years, since the death of his parents, my husband has gradually developed full blown alcoholism (Alcohol Use Disorder) - no control over it anymore.

    His personality completely, 100%, changes for the worst. He is an unrecognizable liar and emotionally and psychologically abusive when drunk.

    I am now so lost - who is the real version of my husband? It also makes me ANGRY which is highly destructive and now affecting my physical health as well as mental.

    Does anyone have any experience and/or advice??


  2. yggdrasil
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    yggdrasil avatar
    130 posts
    5 December 2021 in reply to Meggsy123

    Hi Meggsy123,

    Thank you so much for posting on here, it sounds like a challenging situation. Hopefully the community will have some relevant experience to share with you.

    Firstly, have you thought about discussing the issue with 1800 RESPECT? They may be able to give you some advice. Emotional/psychological abuse is not acceptable, no matter how much your husband is struggling. You might also consider the Family Drug Support (FDS) hotline (1300 368 186) which provides support and advice to carers and partners of people with drug and alchohol issues.

    Your husband is obviously grieving, but he needs a healthier way to go through that process rather than alchohol. You could suggest Men's Line (1300 78 99 78), or the Beyond Blue hotline (1300 22 4636) as helpful starting places. You might also suggest the Men's Shed group - they're active in most parts of the country now. If he's open to it, you could also suggest he call the National Alcohol and Other Drugs Hotline (1800 250 015) which provides confidential advice to people suffering from alchohol or drug dependence. He could also try Alchoholics Anonymous Australia (1300 222 222).

    My ex-partner was a very active member/organiser of the youth part of AA in my state. She was long recovered, but maintained strong connections with AA as a preventative strategy. They seemed to do a lot of really positive stuff, with social events and many things to engage with. She got a lot out of AA.

    It's very challenging when a partner has a serious issue like alchoholism, even more so during COVID where it's harder to leave to home. I hope you find a way to navigate through it. Take care of yourself,


    2 people found this helpful
  3. Meggsy123
    Meggsy123 avatar
    5 posts
    5 December 2021 in reply to yggdrasil
    Thank you. Very helpful.
  4. Gypsy70
    Gypsy70 avatar
    6 posts
    6 December 2021
    Oh gosh, I am only commenting not because I can provide advice or words of wisdom but if anything to say that I could have almost written this word for word. I'm completely at a loss and have no idea what to do to help my husband. We have a son and we run a business together and I'm barely keeping it together but have no choice but to be the 'strong one.' All I can say is that I know your pain.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Meggsy123
    Meggsy123 avatar
    5 posts
    14 December 2021 in reply to Gypsy70

    I am sorry you are in the same boat.

    I think we do have choices - for example, we can leave. It is a matter of the scales tipping I guess.

    Have you contemplated leaving?

  6. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
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    romantic_thi3f avatar
    3151 posts
    14 December 2021

    Hi Meggsy,

    Thank you for sharing this with us; I'm sorry to hear how much you are struggling.

    I can see that you've already had some really lovely replies but I just wanted to share one more resource with you. It's called Counselling Online and they have free online counselling services as well as a specific online forum as well to connect with others going through the same experience. It's also completely free.


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