Hi Ammee
I’m really sorry that your daughter is so unwell and struggling at school.
I know first hand how hard it is. At 13 my daughter fell ill with a mental illness, she was also bullied and became suicidal.
It’s heartbreaking. And I know you’re at the end of your rope.
Part of the problem is the age of the girls. They really struggle to understand the harm they are causing and in our case they didn’t “get” mental illness or chose not to.
Two of my daughter’s tormentors reached out when they were about 17 or 18 to apologise. This helped my daughter heal, a lot.
If it’s possible to change schools then that is something to consider. You could also escalate the matter within your school.
I’d be letting them know the bullying is continuing, the impact is profound and that this is a serious matter. Ask for a review of the safety plan.
For example, where are the bullies “sneaking in” to? How are they doing this? Surely this could be prevented with better monitoring.
Ask if a school counsellor could be present in the meeting. They should be able to help the administrators see the importance of swiftly taking action. If there is no counsellor ask your daughter’s MH practitioner to participate via Skype or phone or in person (assuming your daughter has one).
I often organised my daughter’s psychologist to attend important meetings. It helps because they can offer insights and suggestions that others might not think of. And they will always strongly advocate for their patient.
You can also ask if school could apply for funding for a disability support worker on your daughter’s behalf (this is more to help with the transition back and to help her access her education on a level playing field).
School should also be able to work with the offenders—individually or in a group setting. Is this happening?
At one stage I was so desperate that I contacted the police. I was told it is possible to take out a restraining order but it’s a process and you’d have to have the strength.
You’re not alone Ammee. There’s lots of mums (and dads and carers) like us out there. It’s hard but you can do this. You’re doing an amazing job to care for your girl and provide for her, just hang in there.
Kind thoughts to you