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Topic: Husband with Bipolar Disorder

30 posts, 0 answered
  1. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    26 April 2014

    Hi there,  my husband has had bipolar disorder for over 20 years, wasn't so noticeable or frequent years ago but as he gets older, there are 2-3 major episodes each year.  Starts off with insomnia and trouble getting motivated, through to exhaustion then hyper mania for a few months then onto the downward spiral to depression.  He is currently going through another episode, its been 6-8 weeks now on hyper mania and he has been taking anti-depressant and sleeping medication which is not helping. Last week he went to the Dr and was prescribed a mood stabiliser, which he now refuses to take.

    I am deeply concerned as this manic episode is getting out of control, he is confrontational, berating, not rational thoughts or suggestions, not acting responsively, and trying to reorganise the house (moving everything around and "de cluttering") and being hyper all the time and not being able to stay still.  We are sleeping in different rooms as he is up all night, then crashes for an hour or two, then up again and buzzing around trying to "change the world".  For the past few days he says he's been really dizzy and unable to stay still and has to keep moving.

    Monday we are back at the Drs for another assessment, I will tell the Dr that he is not taking his medication and suggest that he must see a psychiatrist.  

    I feel totally exhausted with all his "in your face" behaviour, the kids understand that Dad's not well and know not to push things otherwise he just freaks out.  I am very cautious when he is around, not that he would hurt us, but I don't know what's going on in his mind.  I feel as though he needs time away from us, and I don't really love him the way he is.  I know he is sick and it's the illness that I hate, not him, but I can't even be in the same room with him as he makes me feel so uncomfortable.  This is not a good environment to be in, I have stress enough at work, and with the kids, school and a step father terminally ill with cancer, I don't know how long I can take his behaviour.

    I have no other family support here, his friends have noticed a change in his behaviour (some say he has been acting a little strange) but when I say this to him he thinks that I am making it up and it's me that has the problem, and apparently everyone else understands him but me.

    He blames me for the way he is feeling, he constantly seeks my OK for things that he does (when he doesn't need to) and believes that I say things when I don't (words in his mouth).  He says that he knows I hate him (which I don't).  He says that he hates me as I never compliment him and that I always say that he's never good at anything (which I don't).  I just shut up now as I don't want to get into an argument.

    As for rearranging the house, at 3am the other morning I woke up to him clearing out the kitchen pantry (to de-clutter) and everything was out everywhere.  At the moment, he is in the bathroom rearranging the vanity unit, putting stuff from the kitchen into the bathroom and vice versa.  It's exhausting and depressive!

    Anyone want to talk or have some advice.


    4 people found this helpful
  2. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    27 April 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Just an update.  After being on the phone to the Mental Health Triage staff today and an independent Doctor, my husband was visited by 2 Mental Health Nurses this afternoon and admitted to hospital for assessment.  He will stay there for a day or two until his mental health condition has been assessed and his medication is sorted out before he is released.  At least I can sleep tonight knowing that he is in good hands, and the kids and I are safe.

    3 people found this helpful
  3. Pixie15
    Valued Contributor
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    Pixie15 avatar
    721 posts
    27 April 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Vanessa,

    I read your first post and was trying to think of a response when I saw your update. It sounds like you will at least have a couple of day's respite. I do not have any answers. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. 

  4. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    28 April 2014 in reply to Pixie15

    Thank you for your concern GratefulToday.  I visited him today and he asked for me to sign his discharge note, but I said I wasn't in a position to do so until he was on mood stabilisers and the Psychology assessment was complete.  I said only the Dr or nurses would sign him out.  He was not too happy, but has accepted that he needs help - and him being admitted to hospital may find other underlying reasons for his behaviour.  I suspect OCD as well.

  5. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    3 May 2014 in reply to Chocolate68
    Update:  As you know, following a mental health assessment last Sunday my husband was admitted to hospital for further a psychological assessment this week. The anxiety and mania roller coaster that he has been on for the past few months have been absolutely exhausting for the kids and I. Following admittance, he was put under a psychological order until Friday and this is his 1st day home since last Sunday. Trying times ahead... He has to control his anxiety levels to ensure the mood stabilisers and mild anti-psychotics do their job. Back to the hospital this Wednesday for another blood test and psychological assessment, then further followups with his local GP.  He now understands that his behaviour was risky, irrational and highly damaging to the kids and I, and has thanked me for finally admitting him to hospital for further assessment.  He said the week in the Mental Health Ward was truly an eye-opener and he has so much respect for the nurses and doctors treating anyone with a mental health condition in the public health system.  Thanks for your support!  Vanessa
  6. Pixie15
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Pixie15 avatar
    721 posts
    6 May 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Vanessa,

    It sounds like your husband has really made great progress and having him admit being difficult and thank you for your help must be particularly reassuring. Thanks for sharing your story. 

  7. Over It
    Over It  avatar
    13 posts
    15 May 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Vanessa,

    Great to see that your husband is getting the help that he needs, I know exactly where you're  coming from as my wife is going through a very similar thing with myself at the moment, 

    I'll admit after reading your 1st post I went and asked my wife if she had posted on here even though Vanessa isn't her name (paranoid much).

    Forgot what else I was going to say so good luck with everything and I hope you're husband can get stable soon.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    18 May 2014 in reply to Over It

    Update: still waiting on the blood test to see if the mood stabilisers are at the right levels.  Anti psychotic medications were finished yesterday, so we'll see how this week goes.  Although my husband notices the calm effect of the mood stabilisers, I still feel as though this anxiety and arrogance is still "up there" - something which unfortunately "may just be his nature as he gets older".  I must say that he collapses around 8.00pm each night totally exhausted and must go to bed - most nights is sleeping through until 5-6am, sometimes waking with insomnia again. Just hope that the blood test come back this week with some more news.  He is all booked in to see a psychiatrist sometime, I told him he must talk to someone about how he is feeling, someone that can actually help instead of just listening.  He seems to get obsessed with the finer detail in things, we are in the process of the early stages of renovating our house, so the added stress of this is not making things any better.  Although the Dr's have said he is on the "milder" side with his bipolar (not jumping off buildings thinking he can fly) I feel as though his episodes are getting more intense every year and it was only a matter of time before an incident occurred wherein someone could get hurt.  I can still see that he is going through his episode, but the intensity is milder (more chilled) even though his mind and thoughts race.  To be continued.... and thanks for listening.

  9. Chocolate68
    Chocolate68 avatar
    6 posts
    26 December 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Update 26 December 2014.

    Well, it's be some time since I've written and thought I would summarise the progress (or hurdles) so far.

    As you know by my above posts, my husband was admitted to hospital earlier in the year (diagnosed with minor bipoar) where he remained for a week under a Psychatrists order.  Following release back home, up and down on medications (mainly down) with hubby spiralling into depression and anxiety over the next few months.  

    Under the care of his Psychatrist, medications were recently changed (recommended an antidepressant & different anti-psychotic) and he was admitted to hospital for another week until he underwent further treatment for anxiety & depression.  

    He has been back at home for a week now and the tension, frustration and anger I feel towards him is incredible.  I am not sure how to describe it, but I feel as though throughout all of this, he doesn't even understand how I feel.

    He's changed and I'm not sure if I still feel the same way towards him, whether I still love him.  Is this normal?  

    I have done everything on my own for so long (just like a single mum with 2 kids) as I have not been able to rely or depend on him due to his illness.  It feels as though I'm caring for 3 kids, he doesn't talk to me and I'm not sure if he's depressed, angry, or if its just me.  

    I feel as though I've been left out, my needs and wants haven't been dealt with for quite some time and I feel hurt, frustrated and taken for granted. Is this normal?

    Anyone have a similar experience?

    Thanks for listening.

  10. Pixie15
    Valued Contributor
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    Pixie15 avatar
    721 posts
    27 December 2014 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Chocolate68,

    I do not know if it is 'normal' or not to feel like this however you are not alone in your feelings.

    From my experience of living with family members who suffer with anxiety you will not be able to rely on them for support. They simply cannot be there for someone else because they are continually concerned for their own momentary comfort. When I was doing CBT last year and shared with my partner that I had become quite severely depressed he merely scoffed.

    I have a lot of anger and I know it is really difficult to even admit that so congratulations. It is better to find a way to deal with the anger than to try and deny or suppress it and have it eat away at your own well-being. It might be useful for you to find out more about the grieving process to understand some of your responses. I know it helped me.

    It is good to acknowledge your own needs and set some goals for yourself so that you have something apart from your family to give you some support. It might help also if you speak to a counselor or psychologists. Your doctor will be able to help you with finding someone.

    Hope you find some support. 


  11. Courtney-Anna
    Courtney-Anna avatar
    1 posts
    21 January 2015 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Vanessa,

    First of all I don't think it's unnatural at all to feel what your feeling. I have experienced a very similar story to you and have also felt all the things your feeling! My partner was going through a manic episode in May 2014 which required hospitalisation. I was naive in thinking that once he was in hospital and on meds that everything would go back to normal - couldn't have been further from the truth! What we battled after that is the anger, resentment and depression that comes with coming down from a manic episode. For months he resented me for sending him to hospital, for assisting to put him on an involuntary treatment order which forced him to take medication, for making him go to his doctors and psychiatrist appointments every week. It created so much anger inside of me that he could be so selfish in thinking that, that he couldn't see how much I was hurting and the burden I felt.

    Once he started really accepting his condition (and not just saying he  accepted it but really accepted that this would forever be a part of his life - no easy task when your 22 and have the world at your feet!) and understanding more about it he started to become more like himself again, like he wasn't trying to fight everything. The best thing for him was to get back to doing what he loved before the episode - it's hard when your feeling down and tired all the time but it really helped him push through the dark days! 

    A lot of psychiatrists told me to see someone to cope with the burden/feelings I was feeling and for a long time I put it off. When I did finally see someone it was like a weight off my shoulders and helped me understand why he was acting that way and felt the way he did. It was good to talk to someone who accepted my feelings and didn't think any less of me for 'being mad at someone who has a mental illness'.

    We don't have children so I can't even imagine how hard it would've been for you being in that position. All I can say is it can get better and those feelings of anger and resentment on both sides can subside over time and a bit of therapy. 

    Whatever you decide to do with yours and your children's future there is absolutely no judgement. People don't understand how incredibly hard and emotionally draining caring for someone with a mental illness is until they experience it. 

    I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness and peace in this world! 


  12. Lsmith
    Lsmith avatar
    7 posts
    25 January 2015 in reply to Chocolate68

    Hi Chocolate68,

     I feel your pain.  My husband is not the same man I married due to mental illness.  I could handle the illness, it's the constant nastiness and aggression I find difficult.  Is it wrong to feel jipped in life?  To feel like the man you married is different to the one you fell in love with?  I am subjecting my kids and their friends to a not very attractive side of him or me as we cope with his anxieties and issues - all the while having him so nasty towards me and them that it just isn't the way families should treat each other.  It would be easier to do it on my own.  So ... Your feelings are normal for someone in your shoes.  Just trust your instinct and remember that we only get one life to live.  Choose your actions wisely.  No one will judge.  We are all entitled to be happy and fulfilled.  My thoughts are with you.

  13. capeachy
    capeachy avatar
    1 posts
    27 August 2016

    Thank you for writing this. The struggle is real - and what everyone thinks as 'him just being fun' is not the same for the partner involved. I have been with my partner now for just over six years and he would roughly have 2-3 episodes a year. Some ranging from quite mild to others over the top. I'm glad I now don't feel alone in this, as the feeling can be very isolating. It's good to know that there are others you can talk to who understand completely.

  14. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    27 August 2016 in reply to capeachy

    I found it really interesting and I am sorry to say a little ignorant too that the forum for carer’s is on the same forum for people with mental illness. Before people get their backs up and think what is this women
    saying, that is so offensive, we are meant to make people feel less ashamed not more I will say this.

    Until you have been on the other side of the psychotic class of illnesses you simply cannot understand the utter frustration, desperation and shear helplessness unless you have experienced that for yourself over a
    long period of time. Especially if it comes with the medication compliance roller-coaster.

    For one, I find it astounding that the assumption is made that the carer’s are adults. There is a silent army of children in Australia caring for parents with severe mental illness and they have no safe place to go
    – “you know what, mental illness sucks right now. I hate mental illness. I don’t want to petition for the passionate cause today. I just want a break and say things out loud that may be labelled so called offensive!”
    So instead they internalise it inside of themselves, let it brew, and further complicate their emotions and their relationship with their family member whom they do love deeply but are drowning inside. I personally believe that a lack of healthy, outward expression of strong emotion is really dangerous for a group of people who are already at high risk themselves.

    It is like being in a parallel universe. I don’t waste my breath trying to explain it to others who have no direct lived experience because they simply could never be able to understand what it is like.

    All carers need a safe place to vent without being judged as horrible people that don’t love their family/partner/friend.

    Corny's 2 cents.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Pixie15
    Valued Contributor
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    Pixie15 avatar
    721 posts
    30 August 2016 in reply to Cornstarch

    Thanks Cornstarch for this post in support of carers.

    Although I am not sure there is a clear line between carers and sufferers. When you are a carer in the middle of a family crisis you can question your own mental health.

    I do however feel that it would be helpful to have a forum for carers.

  16. Chris B
    Community Manager
    • Works for beyondblue managing these forums. Not a mental health professional, but here to help. Email:
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Chris B avatar
    1757 posts
    31 August 2016 in reply to Pixie15
    Pixie15 said:

    I do however feel that it would be helpful to have a forum for carers.

    Hi Cornstarch and Pixie15, I'd like to hear more about what you mean by a separate forum for carers but I don't want to derail Chocolate68's thread. Could you please post your thoughts in the forum improvements thread and we can discuss it there? I have a few questions as well.

  17. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    31 August 2016 in reply to Pixie15

    I completely agree Pixie15 but I will speak up for the people that fly under the radar and who are too afraid to express how they feel. However uncomfortable that is. This is what I wrote to Chris. I don't pretend I have any answers but I hope to make someone out there feel less alone. The desperation really concerns me. There are pressure cookers waiting to explode, and some do.

    "I'm not sure I really have the energy Chirs because I'm sorry to say I find the ignorance of 'the other side' absolutely confounding. There are people struggling with their own condition whilst simultaneously
    having to help others as well. Pixie sounds like he/she may very well be an adult. As I said there is a silent army of children in this country caring for desperately ill care-givers and they have no agency and no voice. Coupled with that they are burdened with the pressure that comes with petitioning for the 'passionate cause'. And there should be a passionate cause for mental illness.

    The stigma is disgraceful for conditions that no-one chose to have.

    But the pressure to maintain the 'passionate cause' while you are secretly drowning can break anyone's spirits. High achievers, god, even mental health workers who thought that their success and education bought them
    immunity from feeling desperate are rudely shocked. Here they are with accolades, achievements and so called knowledge, only to discover that acute mental health conditions make them feel like a consummate professional by day, and an incompetent fraud by night. So they hide.

    I don't know about you but I think hiding feelings is dangerous.

    My anxiety sky rockets to the moon and back when my PTSD flares up because I am acutely aware of the other side. The mere thought of putting any family member or friend through that just makes me feel sick. So I
    just grab my keys and go. We've had family bust ups because they are so upset what's happened to me and all they want to do is be there for me. But that's the cruelty of interpersonal trauma. The trauma occurred inside of a familial context with people known to the family, and now they too are triggers! I'm blessed that I can self-regulate very well if you let me disappear on a beach somewhere for the day and I also have an amazing clinical psychologist. But not everyone can self-regulate or find a wonderful therapist.

    There are always two sides."

  18. Ash13
    Ash13 avatar
    1 posts
    6 September 2016 in reply to Chocolate68
    Hi Vanessa, I'm new to this forum is there any way we can have a private conversation? I have a lot to say as I am in a similar situation but my post about everything that's happening is too long and it won't post. Regards, Ash
  19. BlueDays
    BlueDays avatar
    1 posts
    19 September 2016

    Wow Chocolate68 - it's like you have just described my life, except that I don't get my pantry husband tells me to do everything that needs to be done - he doesn't do it himself.

    It's really hard and I really appreciate you (and everyone else) sharing their stories. This is not something I can talk freely about to friends or family - and I'm sure many others feel the same.

    I have had my 10 year old daughter crying on the floor in my wardrobe (hiding), begging me to divorce him - but when he is on a high my girls can't get enough of him. I really understand when you say you have to 'protect' your children and yourself. Do I leave him while I know he is desperately down? How much abuse is too much? Can we live the rest of our lives on eggshells? No, we can't...but I just don't know how to help him. If we leave he will spiral out of control - that is a lot of responsibility on my shoulders....

    I guess we all have a limit and if/when I reach it I'll know.

    Thanks again :-)

  20. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    19 September 2016 in reply to BlueDays

    I really feel for you and your "isolation" that you refer to.

    It's such a lonely experience.

    Feeling helpless, desperate, heart-broken for the person suffering because it must be hell-on-earth for them......but yet breaking inside yourself.

    It's just awful. Awful.


  21. Ms Green
    Ms Green avatar
    5 posts
    27 October 2016 in reply to Cornstarch
    Thank you for sharing your story. I heard so much of what I feel in what you have listed. It brought me comfort. In amongst those emotions I feel silenced, like I can't discuss what really is happening to us both at home. Judgement from others scares me. Have you told friends / work colleagues your situation?
  22. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    27 October 2016 in reply to Ms Green

    People will judge you. Absolutely they will. Don't let anyone sell you a false sense of security especially as it applies to workplaces. They are competitive environments and people look for weakness, some feast on it.

    Over the years, I have had very mixed results with people learning about my being a descendant of madness in places of employment. Some reactions are felt in your face, and other judgments filter back through the pipes and from little birds. Six degrees of separation, you will hear what people really think of your bloodline and 'your type' eventually.

    This is an extremely middle class country I am not surprised that you cannot discuss truth. Both schizophrenia and Bipolar are in my family. They are horrific, cruel conditions to have. That said Bipolar is kind of hip right now and sympathy is more easily bestowed than someone who is schizophrenic.

    In some ways my childhood experiences have made it harder for me now that I am wrestling my own condition. Because I am so acutely aware of what it feels like to be on the 'other side', it is causing tension and immense worry amongst the Corn-Dog ranks, because I am struggling while simultaneously trying to protect them. I refuse to put my family through yet another round of misery, so I 'withdraw', or I prefer to call it 'retreat', to save them the pain. But then they freak out, so we call meetings instead of throwing chairs. This week I asked them to meet my shrink because it all came to a head.

    Don't interpret that as if we have never wanted to throw chairs and you are intrinsically weak if you have. Trust us, we are only human, we have felt like throwing chairs in frustration. As far as I'm concerned if you're still sub-10 years in caring, you're still in primary school. Start creeping up to the 4th decade and you can become unrecognisable to yourself at times.

    It's a very odd feeling; being/existing/experiencing both sides of mental illness simultaneously. All your feelings are valid and there's no shame in feeling spent. My Mum who is schizophrenic said, "I know I am hard to be around when I am unwell, and I know I am hard to live with".

    Ouch that stung our hearts. Because it was true.

    Bipolar treatments can be a bit hit and miss. Is your loved one responding, or are you in that awful place where modern medicine is failing?

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Ms Green
    Ms Green avatar
    5 posts
    28 October 2016 in reply to Cornstarch

    Thank you for your insight, honest and deep reply. Lots of take always. I will keep re-reading.

    I hadnt thought about my own (and together) stage of learning and understanding about bipolar - very useful link to primary school!

    My husband has been diagnosed for 8 years. He actively and willingly seeks many avenues of help both psychological and pharmaceutical. He has a strong network for both areas. Each episode I / we do learn more. However, each one seems to be getting longer. Out of episodes we have a good relationship, in an episode all his anger feels like it is aimed at me. I end up walking on egg shells. I feel burnt out and my inner thoughts say "I am done". So much falls on me for weeks/ months at a time. He has so much to offer and is a great man, however I feel like he is holding my head under water and shouting over and over for me to get out of the pool.

  24. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    28 October 2016 in reply to Ms Green

    That's very difficult for you. You haven't betrayed your husband or disrespected your wedding vows by saying it's hard to cope with at times. It can get really lonely too and it sounds like possibly you are battling a lot of it in private.

    The harsh reality is there is no cure for Bipolar. As more years pass you will become more and more pragmatic in dealing with it. Have you seen that show Six Feet Under? We discuss mental illness the way they discuss death. I'm certain people must think us strange, uncaring or unfeeling at times when we are taking a break. But until you have been pushed to that edge for that many years, it's hard to describe. As well, life doesn't stop for you. Bipolar will not be the only challenge you face in your marriage and in your life. Life keeps happening, and you will have to juggle multiple stressors. We're warm people but everyone gets to breaking point eventually and you have to be very practical just to keep everyone alive and well. You have many years left together so to keep yourself sane you may face hard decisions.

    What's sad as well is he no doubt would hate his condition. Who doesn't. The thought of managing something for the rest of your life is exhausting. Irritability, anger, frustration a short fuse just comes with the territory of mental illness. It's awful. There is a lot of grey as well, and when you've been amongst it for years you start to see the grey. I am sorry to say there are people out there who have figured out what their illness gets them, and what they can get away with. There's some name for it in psychology, but I've forgotten it.

    You said you have days when you feel "I'm done". You can only work with the finances that you have and we are all restricted by our wallets, but could you buy a second property that will become a respite property? Bipolar is not going anywhere, and in another 7 years a little pad a couple of suburbs away when things are strained and you're feeling depressed yourself could save the marriage.

    Good luck.

  25. Ms Green
    Ms Green avatar
    5 posts
    28 October 2016 in reply to Cornstarch

    Gosh! Thank you for your insight. You not only have a way with words but I connect with what you are saying. I really appreciate your time and honesty. I may just need to call on you again. I will however be re-reading your advice over and over to keep me in check!

    Funny you refer to housing, I often joke how great our marriage would be if we owned houses side by side!!!!!

  26. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    28 October 2016 in reply to Ms Green

    Let's do it.

    Let's build that 2nd property for you both.

    You could have a nice little flying fox that joins the two. Just cut the wire if things get out of hand and he gives you the shits.

    Then again he might build a Shawshank tunnel and come looking for you. Gotta put that excess adrenalin somewhere!

  27. Ms Green
    Ms Green avatar
    5 posts
    28 October 2016 in reply to Cornstarch
    You've brought a smile to my face!
    1 person found this helpful
  28. Ms Green
    Ms Green avatar
    5 posts
    3 November 2016 in reply to Cornstarch
    I felt compelled to share with you that after your advice, I was able I avoid throwing fuel onto the fire when dealing with my husband. Despite him being very broken, our interactions have been calm this week. Today he called me from hospital, he had admitted himself. We both felt relief. I was so glad to not feel any guilt. I new there was nothing 'wrong' that I said. I really approached each day differently. Thank you, your support really made a difference. I have told a few close friends and family that he is in hospital and I feel no shame, I feel proud that he is being so brave. Your words meant so much.
    1 person found this helpful
  29. Cornstarch
    Cornstarch avatar
    571 posts
    5 November 2016 in reply to Ms Green

    Oh Ms Green, I'm sorry I missed this the other day, my lame jokes aside, I hope Mr Green in in good hands. Even if you had thrown fuel on the fire and blown your top that's OK. Jesus, if you have made it 8 or so years and not experienced outbursts of frustration yet I wanna know what your secret is! I promise you he will be equally frustrated with his own brain and malfunctioning nervous system. Screaming at it in his own head.

    Don't feel compelled to tell everyone, it's no one's frigging business unless you and Mr G want it to be. As far as our society has come with mental health there is still a lot of ignorance. That said, I think 'ignorance' is an over simplification and I believe a lot is fear. Fear that they recognise the potential within themselves that they may have their own fragility inside that could end up brining them to hospital as well!

    Tell Mr Green that Corn of Son & Sea was hospitalised for a month this year, voluntary as well. It was my 1st one, and hopefully my last.

    You may not be feeling ashamed but I'm telling ya' now he will be. Maybe not forever.

    It feels crap. I can't sugar coat. Sorry.

    Absolutely crap.

    My situation was a little different, I have a very shameful story attached to it, so I had to cope with the shock from family or friends that didn't know because apparently I appear quite normal. "What the hell happened!", and their panic, guilt, regret, shock that I was not feeling like I could cope with whilst in there, so I had the very awkward situation where I had to tell them to not visit me! Because with some people it was quickly descending into being about them. You can imagine how that made me feel.

    In hospital you are just one of the mob. There will be people from all walks of life there, so he may feel the shame lift for a while, or at least have it normalised a little bit. I was in a private hospital and it's quite shocking how far people travel because there were no beds anywhere else. There were farmers and retirees from interstate, teenagers from the south coast, business men from Palm Beach, and just on my floor alone I think there were a few academics.

    I hope the treatment team is good. That's what I was really scared of. I was not an ignorant uneducated fool, I knew we had a mental health system that shoves patients into the system, instead of designing systems for patients.

    You'll both be feeling really sad.

    Ms Green you will feel lonely too.

    We can start building the flying fox today for fun!

    1 person found this helpful
  30. Hopefulandfighting
    Hopefulandfighting avatar
    1 posts
    14 May 2018 in reply to Chocolate68

    Wow reading this is me. I know it's been sometime since posting but I'd love to get an update. My husband & I have been together 20 yrs he has always been an introverted personality. He has always seemed like he has suffered depression & been insecure. Suffers OCD in some areas of life quite full in. Last year he took himself to the drs as he wasnt sleeping suffering depression & anxiety & was put on medication which sent him in a high after 3 months. I had to call police & ambulance & he was helping involuntary for 10 day last 4 spent on leave. My life fell apart. While our lives have had ups & downs he is my rock well was until this. He has suffered suicidal thoughts many times & it seems the low after the high is never ending it's been 6 mths.

    I have been aware all night another night cause I caved and let him have alcohol.

    I have just told it's time to commit and everything he has tried isn't working so time away in a private facility is what he needs to focus.

    I'd love to hear how things are with you chocolate68

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