The progress relates to hearing stories of other people's experiences with mental illness, with alcoholism, with psychologists, with medication. From family, from people that he knows and also famous people. The stigma around seeking help seems to be diminishing in his eyes. It's like every new bit of information he gets around people having a mental illness or seeking help, is added to a little file in his brain, building up a case for 'it's time to get help'. I am just not sure how full his file needs to be!
I have contributed by seeking help for my own untreated anxiety and depression. In a way I'm 'road testing' it for him, although is journey will be considerably more complicated, with the addiction issues and his lifetime belief that problems are dealt with on your own and men should be tough and not ask for help.
So although his family doesn't think he's making any, or enough progress I think he is - it just hasn't culminated in formal treatment yet. I hope it happens soon but I have made peace for now that it may not be. And also have considered that there may come a time I have to make a decision as to whether I will continue to wait for him to seek help or whether I leave.
It must be hard for you to deal with everything you are, on top of it all he blames you for it, his mother doesn't think there is a problem and there isn't a good relationship there either. Someone on here suggested to me that if I tell my own parents about my mental illnesses, that I print out information on them to give them to read over. Maybe part of the denial on her part may be a lack of understanding of his illness (whether it's PTSD or depression). Maybe if she has a greater understanding she'll start to see the signs in him?
Maybe spell out to your MIL that untreated mental illness can culminate in harm and/or death. Irrespective of your marriage, getting treatment may just become a case of life or death. Your MIL surely does not want to lose her son. At the end of the day I'm sure she wants her son to have a full, healthy and happy life. I really hope you can get through to her that currently he's not having that life - with or without you. You care and want him to get help and be well. You want your husband back yes but ultimately his wellbeing is what's important.
I do hope you get some support and counselling. It's a lot to deal with on your own.
We're here for you too & I hope that helps you a little.