Online forums

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please complete your profile

Complete your profile

Before you can post or reply in these forums, please join our online community.

Forum membership is open to anyone residing in Australia.

Join the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak

Topic: Psychiatrist questions

  1. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020

    Hi everyone, my name's Tayla and I'm 20.

    Firstly, sorry for posting a couple of times. I'm just new to these BB Forums, and I'm just trying to interact with people and try to support others any way I can, well I try to. Plus asking questions myself.

    Anyway, my question is:

    How would a Psychiatrist (I have one of my own who I'm happy and comfortable with) comfort a distressed person? So crying for example? I see my Psychiatrist on Telehealth which is basically Skype, and surprisingly I haven't cried in front of him yet, because I try to be strong and hide it although I tell him everything, more than my GP actually because I feel more comfortable with him.

    He's always polite and caring towards me which means so much. It's surprising that considering how stressed I am, that I haven't cried. So what I mean by what would a Psychiatrist do and how would they comfort a patient in distress, is would they try and reassure them/tell them it's okay to cry, things like that?

    Or if in person would they hold the patient's hand, perhaps hug them, give them tissues? I've never actually met my Psychiatrist in person because he's in Sydney and I'm in regional Victoria, so it's about a 6 hour drive, not sure how long to fly. But I would like to try and arrange to see him in person one day for an appointment, do you think he'd do that? I don't see why not because after all I'm still a patient of his.

    My apologies for these stupid questions. Maybe one day I'll cry because I'm pretty sensitive and weak, and see the outcome. With the vibe I get from him with his caring, kind, professional manner, I think he'd just hug me and give me a tissue or hold my hand in person, and try to make me feel better (he tries to make me feel better anyway).

    I'd appreciate if people can answer this, and not judge please. I know they're silly questions and I'm sorry :( Please help.

    Thank you,

    Tayla xx

    1 person found this helpful
  2. monkey_magic
    monkey_magic avatar
    2885 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201
    Hi Tayla,

    I think it's really good that you've found a professional that you are comfortable with and can open up to because that can be hard to find.

    In my experience when crying to professionals they've simply handed me a tissue. No touching my hand or hugging just listening.
    I think some ppl could take touching the wrong way and so it's probably avoided in most cases.

    Again I'm glad you have found a great fit for you. And your questions isn't silly.

    MMx
  3. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Hi monkey_magic, thanks for your reply. I appreciate it.

    I'm glad that I found him too, and believe me I know how hard it is.

    Yeah I was thinking about that, everyone's different including therapists and other professionals and I respect that. For me I just feel like he'd be that type of guy, but I've never seen him in person because it's too far away but if you think about it, Telehealth (Skype) is pretty much the same sort of.

    If I saw him in person I guess I'd try and ask for a hug or something but I'd also be too scared and be mindful and respectful, plus certain rules. I'm mindful of all that so all good, I understand your point and certain rules etc. I was just curious.

    Thanks again, and I do feel like these are silly questions and a pointless post, but I was just curious to see people's answers since everyone may have different answers and opinions. I guess we'll see.

    I'm glad I've found a great Psychiatrist too and I hope you can find some support here on these forums and other websites similar to BB and professionals, if you haven't already and if you're interested in that.

    I'm here to chat and try to support you and everyone I try and talk to in any way that I can on these forums, I'll do my best.

    Thanks again for your reply and not judging.

    Please take care, I hope you're alright xx

    Tayla xo

    1 person found this helpful
  4. monkey_magic
    monkey_magic avatar
    2885 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201
    Hey Tayla,

    Thanks for your heartfelt reply. Yes I have definitely felt supported here at BB, I've been here for a few years now.

    I actually saw my psychiatrist today but didn't get the result I wanted. I'm on forced treatment and am trying to get out of it. It could happen in time, trying to stay positive.

    I usually find GP's a better support than psychiatrists and you've found the opposite. I would love to find a good psychiatrist that can help me..

    I don't see the harm in asking for a hug. I think human affection is important . I wonder what the regulations are.

    I've read some of your other posts so I'm getting to know you. Hopefully life in the small town improves. Must be tough not being able find anywhere to even volunteer. Trust me this stage won't be your forever life.

    I'm a 37 yr old female btw and that 🐒 monkey is scented, given to me by a close friend.
  5. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Hi again,

    Thanks for your reply again also. I appreciate it, and you're welcome for me replying to you.

    I'm glad you've found support at BB, that's great to hear, but I'm so sorry that you've had a bad Psychiatrist. I was lucky, without trying to brag, this Psychiatrist is the first one I've seen and in the first session I knew he was the right therapist for me.

    I get your point about the GP, but unfortunately I've never felt as close to a GP as I do with this Psychiatrist, which is odd. Yeah my GP is good but not as helpful as my Psychiatrist, that's how I feel at least anyway. Everyone's different.

    I really hope you can find a good Psychiatrist and/or other therapist, I'm so sorry that you've been through all of that. If it makes you feel any better, I know how you feel with bad professionals, that's what's happened with previous Psychologists I've had to the point I've given up with them, and the rude guy on the phone at the local triage I called yesterday. He refused to help and speak to me and that's the first time I've contacted a triage so that was upsetting and hurtful. Not sure why he was like that, I was polite to him and just asked if I could come in for some support. I asked my Psychiatrist this before I spoke to them.

    yeah I guess if I ever see him in person for a session I could try and ask, but who knows if that will happen. He's in Sydney and I'm in Regional VIC, so that's a 6 hour drive, not sure how long to fly. But I'd like to go for a bit of a holiday to Sydney sometime and try to see if he'd book me in for a face to face session, but that's fine either way. Seems like a nice place.

    As for the regulations, I'm not too sure what they are, but like you mentioned, I understand that they're afraid of breaking the patient's personal space and in fear of doing something wrong for people who don't like affection and being touched etc because of trauma. Totally understandable, and quite sad really. But every patient and therapist is different, it depends. I just think he may be friendly enough to hug and hold my hand or another patients. I know it's an awkward question, my apologies. I don't mean it in a creepy and odd way, so I'm sorry about that. Just curious to see people's different answers.

    Thanks for reading my other posts, I also appreciate that. Thank you, I hope it improves for me too, and I really hope things improve for you also. Best of luck with everything, please take care. I'm thinking of you.

    And nice about the username.

    Tayla

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Elizabeth CP
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Elizabeth CP avatar
    2029 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201
    I saw my psychologist yesterday. I've seen him for years. I broke down & struggled to speak because I was so upset. He got me tissues & sat & waited until I was ready to talk. He will shake my hand at the end of a session but no other physical contact. I think is is strongly discouraged because of the risk of mixed messages. I definitely felt he catered about me, was listening & genuinely wanted to understand my point of view so he could help. When I've been unable to see him I have had phone sessions but I find the face to face better because we can both see each other & sense what we are each thinking. Even when I couldn't talk being in the room with him the message came across strongly that he was concerned for me but not impatient which allowed me to pull myself together without feeling pressured.
  7. iamanxiety
    iamanxiety avatar
    79 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201
    Hi Tayla,

    I looked for your post as I was talking to Katy.

    interesting question. in general I think most professionals would try and keep physical contact to a minimum even if they wanted to hug or console you by holding hands it could lead to potential for some mixed signals .

    it's great you found someone you gell with. it is really hard trial and error for some of us. don't be disheartened if you don't get a hello hug, he may just want to keep it looking professional.

    all the best

    Andrew
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    705 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hello

    Yes, I think there are professional boundaries that need to be maintained. I've never had physical contact with any of the mental health professionals that I've spoken to. When I cry at my sessions (which is often), my psych will offer a tissue, lower her voice, let me take my time, and maybe offer words of comfort, but never is there physical contact of any kind. My lady is wonderful and I love hugs, but I don't think it would be appropriate in this kind of setting.

    Kind thoughts, Katy

  9. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Elizabeth CP

    Hi Elizabeth, thanks for your reply.

    thats good that you have a good Psychologist. I'm glad to hear that and that they're caring and supportive towards you.

    i completely understand the professionalism, rules and all of that involved and respecting people's wishes and personal space. I'm not one to push that stuff or anything bad like that, I was just curious, I have no idea why it's been on my mind lately, that's just my weird mind. Not trying to be awkward and creepy. I apologise. I know they're silly questions that are unnecessary to ask and answer.

    I do see my Psychiatrist through Telehealth which is Skype, which my GP referred me to, and I chose my psychiatrist myself, since he works for this company through the Telehealth but he has his own private practice where he does the sessions with, does that make sense? I'm not sure how else to explain it, sorry, but that's how it works.

    So in other words I've never seen him in person, but I'm sure he'd do a professional "hello, goodbye, take care" handshake like most people do, professionals or not. He works in Sydney and I live in Regional Victoria, so that's a 6 hour drive from me, not sure how long by flight.

    I'm sure that if I was in Sydney for something like a holiday and I told him and requested an appointment or had one booked that he'd see me in person if I let him know and explained, what do you think? After all I'm still one of his patients but I completely understand that also. Plus I don't see me going up to Sydney anytime soon although it would be nice just in general. I don't see why he wouldn't.

    sorry again for this confusing and pointless thread. but thanks for the reply.

    Tayla

  10. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to iamanxiety

    Hi there Andrew. You actually have the same first name as my Psychiatrist, now isn't that ironic? Haha.

    but thanks for your reply. thanks also for thinking that it's an interesting question. If anything I think it's stupid, pointless and unnecessary to ask and answer and fairly obvious. I'm not sure why it's been on my mind lately because I know it's weird, I was just curious to see what people say really.

    I've been beating myself up a lot after posting this actually and regretting it. I'm trying to tell myself that I was just trying to get people's opinions in a nice way, not be creepy or awkward, but I feel like it was all of that, I apologise.

    but I do completely understand and respect them being professional, respecting people's space, worried about mixed signals and all of that, believe me I do. I totally get all of that 110%.

    i haven't seen my Psychiatrist face to face, I do it on Telehealth which is Skype so I've never had the chance to meet him in person. He's in Sydney and I'm in Regional VIC, so it's a 6 hour drive, not sure how long by plane. But I'm sure if I did meet him in person that he'd give me a handshake to say hi, bye, take care kind of thing like most people do to be friendly, professional or not. Which is totally fine on both ends I think. I've had other professionals shake my hand before i even knew him and started seeing him on Telehealth and none of that was a problem but everyone's different, patients and professionals. I respect and understand all of that completely too.

    but yes you're right, it's such a relief for me finding him as my Psychiatrist. he's the first psychiatrist ive seen and I knew in the first session that he was good and he still is. Everything I've looked for in a therapist - kind, funny, professional, caring, helpful, actually wants to help me not just prescribe me stuff, all of that. Never rude. always explains things to me so I understand, uses good analogies and asks me I feel things make sense. He also asks if I have anything I'd like to discuss and never makes me feel rushed, and I always have his full attention and he has mine. I don't feel pushed away like I have with other professionals. All of that and him as my therapist means a lot and has helped me since I've had bad therapists apart from him. I'm thankful.

    I'm sure if I did somehow see him in person if I was in Sydney (which I doubt will happen, maybe one day?) I'm sure he'd let me visit, I'm still a patient right?

    Thanks again, take care.

    Tayla

  11. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    23 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi again Katy, thanks for replying here.

    I hope you and anyone here doesn't think that this post is stupid, although I know it is. This thread I made was so stupid and pointless and all unnecessary although I was just curious for people's answers, I don't know why it's been on my mind lately. I'm weird I know. I'm sorry. I've been so anxious and beating myself up and regretting it since I posted this but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

    i hope no one judges this. Can you get threads you posted yourself deleted on here like by emailing the moderation team? (The ones who email you after you post and comment). I could try maybe? I'll think about it.

    thats lovely that you have a great Psychologist, I'm glad you do and that she's kind with you in that sense, and respectful and caring.

    My GP is a female and she puts her hand on my shoulder usually after sessions to say goodbye and take care, or sometimes she might put her hand on my hands when she says taking my blood pressure, but that's just her nature, I've seen her to that to a lot of patients, that's just how polite she is. I personally don't mind it and I haven't seen or heard anyone else say anything, but who knows. It doesn't bother me but then again, she's a female and so am I, and I see her in person because she's at the clinic in my town, my Psychiatrist is 6 hours away to Drive to Sydney, hence me doing Telehealth (Skype). But I don't mind doing that, it's kind of like face to face anyway if you think about it I suppose.

    but yeah like I've said to everyone else, I completely understand and respect the rules, people's space, all of that. I really do, and I'm not one to push things like that, I promise. I really don't know why I even asked this, it should be fairly obvious. I probably look like a fool.

    thanks again though. Kind thoughts back.

    Tayla x

  12. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hi Tayla,

    Thank you for starting this conversation - I don't think this is a stupid or silly question at all. Although you've gotten some support on this thread already, I kind of wanted to echo it to give you a bit of reassurance.

    Offering comfort and trying to be there for people in teletherapy is actually a big reason as to why people decide not to do it. It's really hard to be there for someone on Skype in comparison to in person. While therapists or psychiatrists may not always hug people, they can push the tissues across and kind of 'hold that space'. The therapy room becomes this safe room where it's okay to cry and be upset - which you can't always get on Skype.

    I imagine that if you were on Skype and got upset, your psychiatrist would probably try to just comfort you there - he might ask you what's making you upset, or tell you that it's okay to cry, or just be patient and give you that time. He would probably say the same sorts of things as if you were seeing him in person.

    and yes, I don't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to see you in Sydney. You could definitely ask him next time (even if you didn't have any plans) so he could let you know.

    I hope that you'll keep your post up - this is something that I've thought about before (and professionals too!). Also quite often people breathe a big sigh of relief when they see people asking the question that they were thinking about.

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  13. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    1302 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hi Tayla,

    Just thought I'd pop by and see how you're doing today. I hope you're going okay. It seems like you're getting some good support here. I've just taken Sam for a walk before it gets too hot and now i'm going to have a rest. I hope you get your questions to your psychiatrist sorted out and are more relaxed about it all. Take care, best wishes, hugs from Sam. xx

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hi romantic_thi3f. Thanks for your reply, sorry for just replying now. I had a bit of a break from these forums. I love your profile picture, nice inspiring quote!

    Yeah I get what you mean. If I was closer to him in Sydney I'd try to see him in person rather than doing Skype, it's sort of the same thing in a way. I understand your point & agree with you though.

    I hope he still wants to keep seeing me, what do you think? Sorry I didn't say much this time in your reply but I read everything you wrote, just not sure what else to say at the moment.

    Tayla

  15. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna.

    Thanks for that, and sorry for just replying now. I'll be OK, thank you though.

    I hope you and others are alright also.

    Hugs back to you and Sam, and love.

    Tayla

  16. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    31 January 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hi Tayla,

    That's no worries at all, I'm really glad to hear back from you anyway! Also thank you!

    I have no doubt that your psychiatrist would be happy to keep seeing you. I have no reason at all to think that he would suddenly not want to.

    also that's totally fine. I'm not going anywhere - so you're welcome to come back anytime you like. The forums will always be here for you :)

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  17. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    31 January 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hi again romantic_thi3f. Again, sorry for my slow replies.

    Thanks for replying also, hope to see you around the forums more.

    I hope he does, I really do. I don't know what I'll do. My GP when I saw her today made me feel worse about myself, rather than helping me. She made me feel like my Psychiatrist doesn't want to see me, although I told her how scared I am. He's NEVER said that to me, or her, but I'm just paranoid and confused. She said all this stuff that messed with my head and gave me that idea. I'm depressed and hurt and in a dark place from all of this. And from a GP, who's supposed to CARE and HELP, NOT this stuff. Sorry for the caps.

    I don't know anymore. Sorry for venting and whatnot.

    Hope you're alright yourself. Always here for you too.

    Love and hugs,

    Tayla

  18. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    1 February 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hi Tayla,

    That's no worries, and thank you!

    Oh no! That sounds a bit rough - what happened? What did she say that gave you that idea?

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    1 February 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hi again, sorry for the slow replies.

    Well what happened was I told her that I've been feeling like my Psychiatrist doesn't want to see me anymore, he's NEVER said to me or her that he doesn't though. I suppose I'm just being paranoid & whatnot.

    Anyway, she explained to me that Medicare doesn't pay for Psychiatrists. Yes they do! Every time I see my Psychiatrist since it's on Skype, I get emailed a DB4 form to sign, which I just click "digitally sign", then Medicare pays for it, I don't pay nothing. Every single time.

    She also said Psychiatrists don't provide therapy. I told her mine does - he even says that in the reports to her (I read this on my file on the Telehealth website) - he tells me to read Beating The Blues (still need to buy that), register for Mindspot which I did, helps me with medication, and does give me therapy. I've told her this. My Psychiatrist even said to me - "I want to help you & give you therapy, not just prescribe you medication". See?

    I told her that I DON'T want to go to the triage or anything similar, just see my Psychiatrist ONLY, & my parents agree. I feel comfortable with him & he's been helping. I don't want to see Psychologists any more, only him, because they've always been bad. It's not that easy to change Doctors.

    She doesn't care about me at all, there's other stuff to say but it's frustrating. She doesn't even know what she's talking about & she should whereas I do. I know my rights & I have every right to express my frustrations. I know how it works. Yeah I'll ask my Psychiatrist this myself & mention it to him what he's like. She's never communicated with my Psychiatrist once in any way, she told me this & my Psychiatrist even asked me why. I have no idea but that's what she's supposed to be doing, she's not doing her job & she doesn't care. & like I said it's hard to find another GP then update your file & let people know, like my Psychiatrist.

    But like I said, my Psychiatrist has NEVER told me or her that he doesn't want to see me anymore. She made me feel like he doesn't even more than how I feel, & made me feel worse about myself then I already do. I'm sick of her.

    My parents said I should make a complaint & let my Psychiatrist sort it out, what would you suggest?

    Love and hugs,

    Tayla

  20. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hey Tayla,

    Ah, I'm sorry to hear that! I can very much relate and it sounds like your GP is uh, mis-informed (or just plain ignorant!). I've had a lot of these sorts of experiences before, and I get so frustrated when the GP who is the first point of call just ends up making people feel worse.

    It sounds like you know that she was just in the wrong the whole time, do you think you could find another GP to be your support? If you find someone in the same clinic, they can use the same file, otherwise you could find a doctor and get them to request any medical info they need.

    It's totally up to you if you want to make a complaint. My only thoughts are that it does take a bit of energy, and I'm not sure how much it would be worth your time- given that even though what your GP did was inappropriate and rude, I don't know whether that alone would be recognised by the review boards. Up to you though, I'm only just guessing here.

    Hopefully you get to talk to your psychiatrist soon

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  21. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    3 February 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Hey romantic_thi3f. Thanks for replying again, sorry that I'm just responding now.

    Thank you. I'd say she's both misinformed & ignorant, I mean how did she even get the job as a Doctor at all? She doesn't even seem to enjoy her job at all.

    I'm sorry to hear that you've had bad experiences with people like that also. It really is terrible, they're supposed to help & be knowledgeable & caring, not the opposite.

    I don't know about finding another GP, that's the only one in the town, the others are too far to drive (20-30 mins) & my parents would have to drive me (I have my Learners but never driven because of anxiety, I'm a failure because of that & many other things, sigh). But I've been looking into it.

    As for the complaint I think it would be worthwhile, I know how much energy it takes, I did it before with my local Headspace when the manager & group members made fun of my mental illnesses, & I got the outcome I wanted, the manager lost her job. & yes I had evidence. I don't think it's right that I'm getting treated this way because it's discrimination, & I don't want this stuff happening to anyone else especially with mental health issues of any kind. She could be putting the public at danger if you think about it, especially not knowing what meds someone is taking because meds can mix together & be toxic, for mental health or any meds.

    I see my Psychiatrist (I see him on Skype, so Telehealth) on Feb 18. I'll let him know all of this & ask his opinion then take it from there, perhaps he may make a complaint too. He finds it all disgusting & he's the only nice professional let alone therapist I've ever had, true story. So I'm thankful for him & I don't want to lose that.

    Thanks for your reply & suggestion & whatnot. Love & hugs,

    Tayla x

  22. TheBigBlue
    TheBigBlue avatar
    63 posts
    25 February 2020

    Hi All,

    I just stumbled across this thread after an unexpected outcome with my psychologist today.

    i opened up to her about something that happened to me as a child. It was a quite distressing incident for me & I cried while telling her about it. And the incident still affects/distresses me today.
    But we talked through it & by the end of the session I was feeling better & we had a bit of a joke around.

    Then as I stood up to leave, she hugged me (for clarification I am also female). Now I was always under the impression they never touched clients. She is the 3rd psychologist I have seen over the years & she is the first one who has ever instigated any contact.

    it was definitely unexpected & I was very surprised, but it wasn’t unwelcome as I was quite distressed & she did say to me it was clearly a traumatic experience.

    Anyway, in all honesty I just found it a little bit weird. I would never cross that boundary with a medical professional & while I’m not upset she did it, I definitely feel weirded out about it.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    26 February 2020 in reply to TheBigBlue

    Hi TheBigBlue,

    Thank you for your post and I appreciate you sharing. It sounds like it was a really hard conversation with your psychologist and I'm glad that she was able to be there for you while you talked about your experiences and offer some support.

    I understand that you would find the hugging weird, especially since it took you by surprise!

    Hugging is a tricky one for professionals - some steer clear of it completely and others don't. It's a bit of a spectrum where there can be times where it would be appropriate and helpful, and then times where it is definitely inappropriate and unhelpful. It really depends on that situation and the client, and no two will be the same.

    The thing that bothers me a little is that in all cases of hugging, the professional should never instigate it without having consent. Just because a person might seem like they need a hug doesn't necessarily mean they want to be touched - so while reading your post I thought it was a bit inappropriate that your psychologist didn't ask you first to see if touch would be okay.

    I hope that by sharing this it helps you understand the boundaries a little bit more. You can always share how you are feeling with your psychologist too.

    rt

    2 people found this helpful
  24. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    26 February 2020 in reply to Guest_201

    Hi Tayla,

    I hope you are doing well!

    I just wanted to let you know that while I have read your posts and replies to me, I noticed that you are getting lots of other support from the forums which is why sometimes I haven't replied back. I often do this with members and step back if I think they are getting other support.

    Just wanted to let you know that - but I've definitely been interested in how you are going and hoping your appointments with the psychiatrists are going well :)

    rt

    1 person found this helpful
  25. TheBigBlue
    TheBigBlue avatar
    63 posts
    26 February 2020 in reply to romantic_thi3f

    Thanks for your reply.

    Even a day later it still feels weird thinking about it. I think it was only because of the distress I was in that she did it, but if she does it again I might ask her to not do it.

    1 person found this helpful
  26. romantic_thi3f
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    romantic_thi3f avatar
    2547 posts
    27 February 2020 in reply to TheBigBlue

    Hi TheBigBlue,

    Part of me is guessing that if it still feels weird now - maybe there's a part of it that wasn't welcomed? My psychologist doesn't hug me and I think if she randomly did it definitely would surprise me.

    Please know you are more than welcome to tell your psychologist in the next appointment, without having to wait for her to do it again - not only will it help you, but it will help her too. It might be a bit uncomfortable but in the long run I do think it will be worth it - feedback is so essential

    rt

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    2 March 2020

    Hi TheBigBlue, romantic_thi3f and others. Thank you all for replying here.

    I know it's a weird question but i'm just curious really. It's different for me since I see my Psychiatrist on Skype so that also makes me more curious.

    That was nice that your Psych hugged you TheBigBlue, it must mean she's genuine and cares and wants to try and make you feel better?

    No worries for you not replying romantic_thi3f, I had a break from here anyway. My Psychiatrist sessions have been going well, just wish I can see him more. I saw him on Feb 18 and don't see him again until March 30, sigh. I changed GPs though, see the new GP again on March 13

    Take care all,

    Tayla

  28. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    381 posts
    7 March 2020 in reply to TheBigBlue

    Hi there The Big Blue,

    I am a health professional and definitely feel like I want to offer the people I talk with a hug at times, especially if they are hurt or have experienced a trauma, but I don't. I would suggest that you address the experience with your Psychologist and 'clear the air' as romantic_thief has said so well. If you don't, it could interfere with your progress. Your psychologist may have just wanted to comfort you but it didn't and your boundaries and personal space have felt crossed to some degree. I would consider telling them that the hug felt out of place and that you would prefer that they didn't do it in the future. They will no doubt, take this on board.

    I have learned most of my best lessons as a nurse from the people that I support and it has usually been by making an assumption and then later having a discussion with a person about it. These experiences have helped me grow as a health professional.

    Wishing you best at your next appointment no matter what you decide to do.

    Nurse Jenn

    3 people found this helpful
  29. Guest_201
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Guest_201 avatar
    1294 posts
    7 March 2020 in reply to Nurse Jenn

    Interesting Nurse Jenn, thank you for your reply.

    Hi to everyone else on the thread. This thread is so stupid though, I'm sorry everyone. Such silly unnecessary questions I asked here.

    Thanks all for your replies and for not judging me though. I appreciate it.

    Tayla

  30. TheBigBlue
    TheBigBlue avatar
    63 posts
    9 March 2020 in reply to Nurse Jenn

    Thanks for your reply Nurse Jen,

    i am certain she was doing it to offer comfort. I was & still am really distressed what we spoke about.

    Her hug is the least of my concerns at the moment, I’m just so confused with my past. My psychologist is one that specialises in chronic illness however the subject that came up was an incident from my past. It may sound really weird, but I’m not sure if what I experienced was abuse.
    I was a young kid & they took advantage of me. The more I read up on it & the more I think about how distressed I was at the time, how I would cry & beg my mother to not take me back to that doctor & how he must have known what he was doing wasn’t right but just took his opportunity.

    I'm just struggling to comprehend that it happened, that it is abuse, that if it happened now as an adult it would definitely be considered inappropriate & I would report him.

    But I’m even more confused because my mum was in the room EACH TIME it happened. I don’t understand why she didn’t tell him to stop. I was too young to know we could have gone to a different doctor. Im too ashamed to tell anyone in the family and even weirder I don’t want to ruin my sisters relationship with mum so feel like I need to keep it hidden away, like I have done my entire life.

    i can’t understand why me in tears before each appointment wasn’t enough for my mum to think something was wrong. Even if she didn’t think it was wrong, she could see how upset I was.... but did nothing?

    i honestly feel so lost & having trouble dealing with all these thoughts going non-stop through my head.

    ive probably posted this in completely the wrong thread but I need to get it out, it’s consuming me.

    Sorry everyone, I’m just hurting so much & have absolutely no one to turn too.

Stay in touch with us

Sign up below for regular emails filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.


Sign me up