It's tough when you're trying to open up and tell people how you're feeling, especially when their responses are more about personal opinion and less about listening.
The sort of questions we want to hear from those we seek support from are questions like
- how long have you been feeling this way?
- do you know why you feel the way you do?
and stuff like that.
There is one incredibly powerful question a lot of us struggle with no matter our age and that is 'Do you know who you are?' It's a weird one but it's one that definitely prompts us to begin thinking. It brings about a lot of self questioning, which is good as long as the answers are productive and not destructive.
As a mum who has experienced depression in the earlier part of my life, I encourage my 14yo son and 16yo daughter to question themselves in positive ways in order to navigate their sense of identity. At 49, I still do this myself, so I don't ever become trapped again in a false depressing sense of self.
It's also important to question other people at times, very important. Questions such as 'Mum, what if this so-called 'phase' leads to seriously challenging mental health issues that could have been avoided?' or 'Hey guys, if seeking attention means I need some help and advice then why wouldn't I seek it if I believe you can help me?' Turning it around in order to make others more conscious is important. There is nothing wrong with us being open, courageous and expressive (regarding our concerns an/or struggles). In my opinion, there is definitely something wrong when those who have the power to help choose to be dismissive.
We're complex beings blakey! Whether lack of motivation, tiredness, disinterest and so on are due to our way of thinking or due to the way our internal chemistry is behaving, the interaction is something that definitely needs attention and consideration. These factors can definitely mess us around regarding our energy and perception. In my household, I'm actually addressing the many physical and mental challenges that come with chemical/hormonal changes. From the teenage years through to the mid-life ones (myself and my husband), I approach all aspects from a holistic perspective. We are mental, physical and energetic creatures who need guidance and attention.
Try pushing the point with your mum. Let her know that your quality of life has changed and you need her to really listen and guide you. Using the words 'Don't let me down' might make all the difference :)