Hello

first post to say hi and ask a question gather thoughts ?

Im male mid 40s. Often find myself worrying about stupid things, can’t focus or concentrate get teary. This morning I just couldn’t stop my mind racing. I couldn’t pull myself together and stayed home from work. It’s happened before (day off work). It’s been so bad I’ve had chest pain that wakes me up and lasts for days.

I’m worried if I don’t do something it’s going to take control of me. I need to tell work as I’m worried they think in skiving off. What do I say to them?

Am I just worrying normally, or might I have some level of anxiety? Plus how can I tell my boss how I’m feeling and what it’s doing to me.

Thanks for the support

Hi Garry and welcome to our forums

It is good you've found your way here. There does seem to be a bit going on for you at the moment. Have you every been diagnosed with a mental health condition? E.g. anxiety or depression?

I'm no health professional so unable to give you a diagnosis of what's happening with you. Though I do have lived experience with PTSD, anxiety and depression.

It would be best to go to your doctor to talk about it and get a medical certificate.

So do you tell your boss or not if you have a mental health condition? That's a really good question, so thanks for asking.

During my working life I frequently had days off because of my mental health. Though I never realised this is what it was. Always put it down to a 'viral infection' that would pass in a day or two. This went on for years. About 15 years ago though the days off turned into a week or two. The doctor didn't even diagnose it then - just that I needed time off work to deal with things and to recover. That particular boss wasn't very happy and used to say - when are you going to be okay to return to work.... Fast forward to another boss. By that time it had been finally diagnosed and I did tell her. She was extremely understanding and supportive!

However, others here on the forums have a different story about how their boss responds. My thoughts are it depends on who you work for, whether the organisation has good HR policies in place, particularly around mental health. It might be or might not be detrimental to your career. Just depends on the maturity, understanding, knowledge and experience of your boss. What is your relationship with your boss like?

Maybe once you start looking at that relationship it will help you to decide on the course you should take. If you don't think your boss will be understanding - You could do like I did for a good 40 years of my working life and that was say I had - gastro, or viral infection (aches, pains etc). Which in some ways was true in most instances.

Hope this helps in some way Garry.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Hello Garry, we appreciate your comment so much and Pamela has given you a great reply.

Her words of wisdom are right, and it depends on how the relationship you have, not only with management but also your workmates, who maybe supportive or who spread rumours unbeknown to what you want them to say to one another.

If you are employed and suddenly become anxious, then you should disclose this information to your manager, you can't suffer by yourself, it will only increase and get to a point where you can't cope, that's not what we want to happen.

This is different from a situation where you are applying for a position.

Wish you the very best.

Geoff.