Hi all .. as the title suggests.
Firstly, thanks to BB for being here. I've phoned before, but sometimes writing thoughts, and feelings, are better than words. Not wanting to bore you with "all" that grieves me, I would rather just say at this point is that I need some support with some issues that BB deals with.
I suffer from anxiety, badly (to the point of being carted off to hospital by Ambulance a few times), taking medication in the mornings seems to settle it, and I self medicate after work with alcohol. (Yeah, I know)
This affliction, the anxiety, is affecting my home life, which makes me sad. I am seeing a psychologist, randomly (due to work and a few other issues) which isn't really helping (the Psych visits that is) in any way, bar, making me delve into my mind and memory for triggers. But this thing seems to be a monster that just rears itself, at almost any given time and circumstance.
The only time I seem to be able to hide from it is in solitude. In fact, solitude is where I seem happiest at the moment. When I mentioned the idea of taking some "me time" the Psych said it would be interesting to see if anything changed.
I shipped my motorbike (my other affliction) overseas, took some long service leave and picked up my bike overseas and rented a small apartment by my myself for 10 days. Those 10 days were bliss. No work, doing what I wanted, when I wanted and exploring parts of the world I'd never been before on my motorbike.
No need to please anyone but myself ........ selfish? Maybe.
I then met up with some mates, and spent a couple of weeks with them, partially in solitude, as we rode motorcycles around Europe together.
But returning to reality, and the daily routine, has hit with a blow and I want to run from both. I hear the monster coming back again.