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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Selective mutism? (work-related)

Topic: Selective mutism? (work-related)

2 posts, 0 answered
  1. isfp
    isfp avatar
    1 posts
    14 September 2020

    Hi everyone, first time posting but I have been visiting the forums for many years now.

    I've been struggling with something that only arises in work situations, specifically during team meetings. I find that I am unable to speak, not for fear of being 'exposed' or ridiculed, but because my brain seems to process things incredibly slowly. I feel that I only partially understand what's being discussed, and that I struggle to grasp the various 'big picture' issues raised by my colleagues. This is a problem I've had at every workplace, and it feels like it's getting worse.

    For context, I have been working in my current field for 5-6 years. Owing to the volatility of my sector, I have had about 12 jobs over this time. As such, I am a perpetual newbie. I also tend to be quite concrete and detail-oriented in how I process information, which I'm beginning to think is not useful in many of these workplaces.

    This inability to keep up with my colleagues and contribute to discussions is incredibly frustrating, and I sometimes find myself in tears after group meetings. I have been encouraged time and again to speak my mind, but the truth is that my brain empties as soon as the meeting begins and it's very hard for me to retrieve anything beyond a 'yes' or 'no'. What's more, if I do get an idea I can never string it together in a coherent sentence.

    Has anybody else experienced this problem? If so, do you have any recommendations on how to manage it? I realise that external factors aren't causing me to react like this, but I am also considering whether I'd be better suited to a different line of work entirely.

    Thanks for your time :)

    1 person found this helpful
  2. white knight
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    white knight avatar
    9216 posts
    14 September 2020 in reply to isfp
    Hi, welcome

    This problem reminds me of my lovely wife that, whilst discussing purchasing an item she'll get to a point when she then insists on a decision.

    Now,I'm a decisive person but sometimes I need 10-20 minutes think time and maybe browsing for a more suitable item.

    There is an answer to all this. Acceptance.

    It is ok to provide yourself some think time. It's ok to tell your colleagues that "well everyone, I need to digest these ideas before I provide you with my conclusion."

    Certainly respond firmly if you get opposition like "well everyone else can decide now, why can't you" such responses deserve your defence like "but I'm not everyone else".

    Stand by yourself as an individual.

    To help you further please Google these and read just the first post-

    Beyondblue topic guilt the tormentor

    Beyondblue topic the frog and the scorpion

    Beyondblue topic fortress of survival (workplace)

    Reply here or in those threads.

    TonyWK

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